A Terrifying Story
Unfortunately for me, I know someone. Someone who is an insult to
human kind. I hate her more than any of the adolecents at my school.
She is not an really an adolecent,but what she is is so much worse.
She is a monster. I think of her as a demonized devil, or, in other
words, a devil who is too evil to really be a devil. If I could
easily get away with murdur (which I probably could) and if I didn't
fear the goory sight of blood gooshing out threw the streams of
veins (which I do), then I would most definately slaughter her in
the most brutal way I could think of. Just to dicust you with this
story (well, I'll temp to, I probably won't do a great job, but
oh well), I shall do my best to describe how I'd like to kill this demon:
First I would cut out her vocal cords so she could not scream and
hurt my ears. I would do my best to not harm her in anyway that
may kill her, for she can not die just yet, especially at this early
in the game. Then I would nail her hands to a giant dartboard, as
you would crucify someone on a cross. I would throw darts at her,
but rather than darts, I would throw razer sharp butcher knives
at her instead. Darts don't stick to dart boards unless you can
throw, so they wouldn't work for me. I would try very hard not to
pierce her heart or head, because it is still not time for her to
die. Once I got bored of my dart/knife game, I would rip her off
the dart board and strap her to the floor somehow. I would take
a pile of rocks and nearly crush her to death with them, but again,
not crush her so she dies. Then I would pick up my cat (Pussy Fats,
since he is the largest of my 3 cats) and jump up and down on her
head. I would crack her head, but not crush it completely. Then
I would force her to watch porn. After that, I would hand her by
the feet and force live mosquitoes and slugs down her throat. For
a drink, I would feed her 3 drops of fabric softener to burn her
throat and some of her own blood from the knives. She probably thinks
that sucking your own blood when you get a cut is discusting (when
really it's totally natural, haven't you ever seen a cat do it?)
and she should taste hers for a change. Then I would feed her 7
bottles of alcohol to get that goody goody really drunk. Then I
would let her pee in the woods. She would have to after having so
much beer, only I'd let her until she was about 1/2 finished and
pull her away from her peeing area. Then it would be more difficult
than ever to hold it, especially when she's so drunk. I would sit
her down, hoping she would piss all over me or have a hangover or
anything. I wouldn't have to worry about her running away since
every bone in her body would be broken plus she'd be in too much
pain from all the stabbing she got on the dartboard. I would turn
the sink on (good for her need to urinate) and pour a cauldron full
of freezing water. I'd make sure I killed her in the winter so I
could slightly freeze the water outside. I'd do that and take her
outside and put her in the cauldron. I wouldn't force her head under
just yet. I'd go inside and fill another cauldron of water. I'd
boil it in a fireplace. Then I would go back outside and force the
demon's head in the freezing water. She's still not ready to die,
so when I feel she's been drowned enough, I'd let her get a breathe
of air. Then I would take a match after she took that breath and
light her hair on fire. But I would put out the fire once she was
nearly bald for it is still not time for her death. I would dunk
her head again in the ice cold water, but only for 3 seconds. Then
I would drag her inside by her ear and throw her into the cauldron
of boiling water. There she would become very close to death from
the huge change of temperature, but again I would make sure she
did not. After I felt that was enough, I would take her out and
allow her to get some of her senses back. I'd think about feeding
her to the rats, but then I'd decide it's cruel to feed innocent
rats rat poison. So instead, I would cut out her eyes and force
her to eat them. Then I would cut both of her ears and feed her
those too, and one by one cut off each of her stubby fingers and
toes and force those down her throat. Then a hand, which she would
nearly choke on, but while she's choking on that, I would cut off
all the rest of her limbs and then when she's purple and ready the
pass out, I'd slowly and chop off her head and that's the end of
her. So what should I do with what's left of her body? A good idea
might be to bury it in my backyard, my neighbor's backyard, flush
it down the toilet, feed her to my dog, throw her out with the trash,
throw her into the pond in my backyard, or leave her in the trunk
of the car (or someone else's car). But that's too easy. Instead
I would cut her up into chunks and put her into dogfood cans. Then
I would sell the cans to my school for them to use for their turkey
'n' gravey dinner for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I hate most of
the people at my school, so the demon will be dead and she will
be eaten by people who I don't like and I can punish them too. Sounds
like a good plan, huh? I think so.
So what has this demon done that's made me hate her so much, you
may ask...or may not. But if you do want to know, or if you don't, I shall explain either way.
First of all, she's the biggest freak I've ever met. Her only style
of clothing is teenage-grandma wear. You know, like the pink, yellow,
and baby blue clothes with the flowers all over it? If you're going
to be a girl, that doesn't mean you hafta dress like one! She thinks
that anyone who wears anything darker than say, sea green, then they are idiots.
She owns a 10-year old light purple calculator and thinks it's better
than my normal black calculator because hers is girly, childish,
and light purple. Light purple is such a "happy" colour after all...
She thinks she knows me. She defines me as a "happy person who like
discusting looking light colours." Well, I sort of added the "discusting"
part, but it fits in nicely. Anyway, she does not know me at all.
She thinks I'm a super-geek like she is. I'm a geek, but even with
my pretty low self esteem, I can say I'm not even close to being
as geeky as she is. I am not a "happy" person, especially when she
haunts my life. I'm not a sad person, but I am most certainly not
a happy person and I really believe that nobody can ever be a happy
person unless they are as gay as Ricky Martin. I prefer the darker
shades over the light ones. I will admit I have a gross looking
light green shirt which I only bought because it fit me and didn't
look slutty and I was in desperate need of clothes (and still am),
but I've always liked the shades of gray-blue and darker ever since
I was three. I have no memory of any time before I as three, so
maybe even before I was three. I've never really liked any colour
really light, they always clash too much with other colours. Well,
for a couple months I did like pink when I was eight, but I was
a very VERY screwed up child then. Now I especially hate pink and
the colour pink should be banned from this planet. It's a huge hazard
for your eyes. It's such a discusting and feminine colour. It's
the colour of vomit. Ick. It does not go with any colour at all.
It seems to be the demon's favourite colour. She is sick. I don't
know what is wrong with her. She's gotta have some kind of mental
problem to have such a strange obsession with the colour pink. How girly can she get?
She also draws all over my book and homework. She draws flowers
and smiley faces. All in florecent pink pen. The most blinding of
all colours. She also stuck an ugly florecent colored Lisa Frank
sticker on my book. Doddling on homework is such a 4th grade thing
to do, not to mention how messy it makes it look with scribbles
everywhere from the ugly drawings taking up so much valuable writing
space. But the worst part is the embarrassment I feel, for people
I'm sure think I'm the girl drawing cheesy things all over everything.
And what's up with the Lisa Frank sticker? How old is she, five?
She also has a Lisa Frank assignment book, notepad, and pens. Lisa
Franks is the most discusting company. It's scarier than the Gap
when someone my age is carrying around Lisa Frank stuff (otherwise
the Gap is scarier, since Lisa Frank is meant to be scarey stuff
for little kids). And she must be blind to not see how all the Lisa Frank colors clash.
I hate her language too. She has the dirtiest mouth. And then she
says I have a dirty mouth! Huh! To try to be cool, she'll always
greet me saying, "Yo! Hey, what's up, stistah girlfren'?" Ok, what
loser actually talks like that? Oh, right...her...I hate it when
white people try to be black. They sound like morons and black people don't even talk like that!
Besides trying to be a stereotypical black person, she's very prejudice
about other things too. She's the most prejudice person I know.
She can not figure out the difference between stereotypical and
reality. She thinks the pentacle is an anti-Chris symbol for Satan
worshippers. She believes Satanists worship the devil too, when
they most certainly do not. She thinks VooDoo is evil, when VoDoo
doesn't even exist and was made up for movies and stuff. She hates
all goths. Obviously, if someone doesn't think the same way she
does, knows the truth about what life is, is creative, or doesn't
dress like a teacher, she hates them. She probably thinks she's
the least prejudice person since she's so "perfect in every way,"
but she seriously can not respect anyone who's not a total loser.
She hates pretty much anyone who's not a teenybopper girly-girl...
She's the biggest goody-goody and teachers pet on the face of the
planet, and she acts like she's proud of it too. It is so humiliating
to have her speak to me. The class probably thinks she's my friend
when what I crave most is to slice her in tiny peices or bury her
alive. She's one of those morons who says "hi" to all of her teachers.
For example, my science teacher, Mrs. Millett from last year, who
I loathe completely. Twice the demon says in the most cheerful tone,
"Hi Mrs. Millett!" Oh my God, could she be any more of a retard?
How could you greet such a wretched bastard in any way? Doesn't
she remember how much of a biatch Mrs. Millett acted last year?
She also thinks that sophmores know everything and any snob who
actually thinks that should be shot. It's a huge insult to all sophmores
and I really really hate the ones who think that and if they do
think that, they should keep it to themself at least.
I must mention the kind of jewelry she wears. If you looked at her,
you'd think she was about 10 from her jewelry. She does act 10 and
her personality, stuff she likes is like that of a 10 year old.
An evil discusting 10-year-old trying to be older. All 10-year-olds
are like that. She wears a scarey looking rainbow coloured ring
around her pinky. It was probably the largest size of that ring
available since it was made for 10-year olds. It looks like one
of those 25 cent rings that you get from machines and they turn
your fingers all green and black after wearing one for 5 minutes,
you know those? Around her swollen neck is a plastic flower necklace
with florecent colours. It's somewhat similar to the ones I've owned
when I was three, only mine weren't so terrifying and I stopped
wearing them at age 5 because that's when I realized how dreadful they looked.
This monster, everyday brags about how she has a job at McDonalds.
Only monsters would want a job at McDonalds. Only the most grave
creature would even apply for a job at McDonalds. Well, I've had
a crappy job since I was 9 and it's better than McDonalds. Any job
is. A lemonade stand in your front yard is better than a job at
McDonalds. My job I'm sure pays just as much, if not more than McDonalds
does and I'm only working a half hour a day. You need to work for
half a day at McDonalds to earn three cents. She always tries to
convince me to get a stupid job at McDonalds and be an idiot like
her, and then she complains about how she has to take out the tash
at McDonalds and how people always throw out their trays. Okay,
that's really going to convince me...And she always tells me to
eat at McDonalds. First of all, I can't drive (thank God) and second-I
stopped eating McDonalds' food a few weeks ago after she started
obsessing about working at McDonalds. Burn McDonalds! Maybe she'll
be in the resturant. People: Don't ever go to McDonalds again, you
might get poisoned. Her skin probably has poisonous chemicals that
will kill you instantly if you touch or eat anything that she's touched. Just to warn you.
Now the time comes for me to end this horrifying, spine tingling
story story (I hear you guys cheering, you can stop now...STOP IT!
Ok, fine...hahaha, very funny.) But first I will reveal who this
mysterious and frightful demon is. Well, it's someone. Some may know
her, the fortunate ones do not.