"Oh the sorrows and pain of this trecherous life! Why must I suffer? WHY?! I look out my window and watch all the happy fetuses growing up to a happy, better life after they pass away. Oh the horrors! And I am here in my home, sweating like a sweating piggy! This world is burning me insides! Why hast the God who's created me given me this life! And there's no knives in this world. Sob and sigh! The boredness is eating me up. I can't take it anymore! What do these other fetus freaks see in life?? How do they find it to be so joyous and merry?! Boo! Shit, I forgot to chand the CD...Anyway, I must end this life, but how?! I am not ready for the unknown and bigger universe when I am obviously not read for this one. I've not even learned to swim yet! I will drown in the place down there if I do not decease soon!" moped Nonsubsistence. He said a lot more stuff, but I was having WAY too much fun writing that and I was getting freaked out. My hand also hurts. If you'd like me to continue on what else Nonsubsistence said, feel free to email me and I'll be more than happy to tell you more.
Tom didn't do much. He just hung around on his rope and listened to Nonsubsistence's moping, and Fetus #3's death threats. Would you like to hear Fetus #3's death threats? Yes? I'm sure! Well then-
"Argg! I am the evil Fetus #3, preparing to take over the world! Bwahahaha! I will destroy all alien kind! First I will bash them on the heads with my worming penis! Aw, fuck...I am a girl, aren't I? CRY! That sucks. I must kill someone now! How dare I be a girl! I want a long wormy thingy like everyone else! Wow...I wonder what it would be like to have my own built in weapon to beat aliens with. Well...NO FAIR!! God dammit, NO FAIR! What fun will it be to rape young preteen girlies when I have no thingy?! Hmph!! Ok I will change CD now. Man, this pen really sucks...Does this one work? Not really...Oh well. I will go more insane because this pen's even worster!!! Grrrr! These fooky mooky half dried corpses of pens! Ok, this blue one works just fine. I HATE blue ink though. Now where was I? Ah, yes...Perhaps I can rape the dead pens! Wheee! Won't that be a fun and joyous experience?? Ooooo! I can not wait to die! I will rule all pens! YAY! Fetus #3 the King of Dead Pens! Ok, I will shut up now. Everyone will die though when I am reborn into the next world." spoke Fetus #3 while laughing insanely the whole time. All could hear, but none could understand. Even the alien guy to which was their host, heard. But he just figured it was the plants he had eaten cuz he's heard that stuff before he fucked the chicken that was walking around.
One day Nonsubsistence went out of his home and went off his territory. He's never done this before. He's brave. He took a long walk to the end of the world, which is where Fetus #3 invaded. He noticed a fat naked female fetus with freakishly large eyes, well one anyway, laughing her intestines out. He recognized this laugh. He did not realize however that it was coming from another fetus. In fact, he never even noticed this laugh. It seemed normal to him by now. God's laughs seems normal to us, so you understand, right? Enigma makes me cry. She's so purty. Umm...yeah so anyway-
"Greetings, Fetusling!" Nonsubsistence yelled to Fetus #3. Well, actually, Nonsubsistence did not say a thing. He was a bit antisocial and shy too. He had never seen another of his own kind before. Fetus #3 noticed Nonsubsistence and skipped to him. They had a picnic and had a long conversation. Nonsubsistence explained to Fetus #3 about how he wanted to die and Fetus #3 explained to Nonsubsistence about how she wanted to drive a knife thrw someone's head and eat their brains and gauge out their eyeballs and stuff them up their nostrils.
"Hey, I have an idea!" explained Nonsubsistence. "How about you murdur me! Then we could both have our wishes come true! And plus, you'll be one step ahead of preparing to take over the unknown world outside!"
"Wheee! That sounds like an brillient plan, Nonsubsistence! You is a genius!" Fetus #3 said, jumping up and down for joy. "Now let's fuck."
Nonsubsistence didn't really understand, but he went with it anyway. They did so and they both had the most miraculous time of their lives [note: in the original story, the word "most" is spelled "move". I don't do that often and I don't get it either. Handwriting typos is funny, no?] . They continued until they both passed out.
Days later (or, in our time, house later), Nonsubsistence awoke and yelled, "My that was surely a most scrumdiddlyumptious time, Fetus #3! You have much talent!! Where did you ever learn how to do that?!" He woke up Fetus #3. "Let's have more sex! Whee! Yay!" He had never felt happy before. He had finally discovered what he could truely enjoy!
Now with Nonsubsistence suggesting the idea and not herself, turned Fetus #3 off and she did not want to now. "No, I hafta kill you now like our plan was." She stabbed Nonsubsistence in the back with her homemade knife made of fried up uterus mucus and digested alien slime that somehow got mixed in. She dismembered his body completely, threw the pieces in a trash bag (well, she kept his head and dick) and injected poison into one of his fingers. She took a walk to Tom's house and fed him the contents. He died of finger poisoning and she left. She sewed her nice new dick on aand used her decorative extra head as we would use a toilet. She got real fat from her unborn fetus babies. They were born and so was she. The alien guy got real confused when he learned that he was still pregnant after Fetus #3 was born. And with 6 fetuses this time all months younger than Fetus #3! Fetus #3 grew to just the right size, slaughtered her species to death (including hrt fetus children) and took over the world. Yay! One day she died, the very same day that God and Satan retired, and she was hired as their replacement. A vampire with no teeth came and drained H of all her blood. It was funny. The end!
by H