It was quite amusing actually...the guy deserved it. A nice cow named Hubert the Duck came and took the evil pea plant eater. He tied him to a tree and stuck a nail right threw his stomach. He got blood everywhere! It was sooo sick and beautiful! Then the cow pulled his hair and ate the green beans that were stuck to his head. They had been there for some time and they were stale. A potato shouted. "Howdy!" said it. "I am the super potato! I rule all potatos. I come in peace. Do not fear, for I am a psycho!" It cackled and left. It left because it knew that the cow was hungry. The cow was very confused but it sat down and ate the ants. It was facinated with the amazing chocolate covered ant taste. It soon discovered that ants weren't tasty at all and so it sat down and ate more because the writer of this story is insane. The cow's pal, Denis the 12-year-old druggie died of health. It was soooo funny because who the fuck dies of health!!! Then the trees started to talk to the cow and he got soo freaked. The trees fed the cow speed and he fell asleep. The cow got sooo confused!!!! Then the tree fed him a cookie that said "drink me" on it in silvery cloudlike blossoms. He obeyed and he started to hallucinate. He hallucinated that the trees started talking to him. He went on a nature hike because he was curious. An indian said he could talk to the trees if he starved to death. He didn't because he didn't believe it even though it's sooo true! Seriously, you don't believe me, huh? You think I'm just trying to get you to die? Ok....well....try it anyway! Do it for the cows!! They like it better and the trees will appreciate it. One day the God of anti-hunters came and killed some hunters. It was nice until some fish thing ate him. He died and stayed dead. No one really like him because he LIKED hunters. Can you believe that?! It's soo true!!! He actually liked hunters!! Ewe! It's sooo sick!!! He did too!! I could go on and on forever about this so I will...so pay attention or the trees WILL get you. Umm...actually, I'm bored of this subject since I've been complaining about it my whole life and no one ever listens obviously, so I'll just have to kill them all!!! Eee hee hee hee hee!! I am the God of Hunters and I plan to attack ALL hunters!! Wheeeee!!!! Aren't you excited? Eee hee hee hee hee!!! I am sooo sweet! Anyone want to help? I have a volunteer! Wheeeeheee!! I won't kill them...but do worse....FUCK! I'm dead!!!! URRRRGGGG!!!!! Ah well...I knew that God was too good to be true. Then a homicidal maniac named Johnny appeared and lived because he was nice and someone else created him. He went to sleep!!! Instead. Then he went on the stupid ass bus and he died of pollution. URRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!! I'm forced to go on a stupid ass bus that SUCKS!!!! Ok, I am sooooo against that kind of stuff. The pollution thing. It pisses me off soooo much!!!!!! How come my pen turned black?!!!! NO FAIR!!!!!!!! [note: my pen used to be blue] I like black ink anyway. It's way better than blue ink and I'm NOT on speed ok? So don't even ask that! [NOTE: the writing is quite illegible since I got soooo pissed off!!!!!] Yeah, could you read that at all? You've kinda gotta have some sort of sense to figure that one out. Ok, tell me the truth-can you breathe at all and why the fuck do I keep getting freezing all of a sudden for like 3 seconds and then warm and then cold....etc? I DON'T get it at all!! This stupid ass story makes more sense than that. And I give up writing stories with plots. This is sooo much more fun!!! [note: written in a speedy way]You've gotta try it!!!!! Wheeeeee!! Ok! [note: written in a drunken way] I'll be good ok? I understand....I'm not drunk ok? I'm sober...Really! You don't believe me? Seriously, even though I knew enough to scribble out the apostrophe. [I did...drunk creatures don't make apostrophes]. [end drunkness] I made a monster today. He was soo perfectly random. He had stupid obsessions and he always liked to drink ice and cookies that say "drink me" on them. He loved zombies and lawn chairs. He liked lawns. He decorated his with rusty old lawn chairs. He spent his long summer days mowing his lawn and sleeping with his buddies and pals, who also happend to be lawn chairs. This guy wasn't a lawn chair. e was a skeleton. Hehehehehe! It's sooo true too!!! Wheeeeheee!!! Ok, umm...anyway, if you've ever had soda, you know what I mean....the cows don't mind soda at all, so it's ok. But the sugar and caffeine plant hate it, so don't try it. Yeah...just...stave and go on the nature hike I mentioned before. You're [drunk] probably too drunk to remember. But its ok...I understand...[undrunk]Anyway!!! Sometimes when the lumpy cucumber things go and race with the donkeys, they eat like cows and dive in solid water. Eeeek! That KILLS!!!! It feels like knives going threw you! Hmm....I remember what I was writing now....I believe I was going to make fun of Rumplestiltskin. Ah, well, this is waaaay more fun!!! Finally!! I can express my true feelings for you!!! I HATE YOU. Especially you, Bugg!! [speed] URRRRRGGGG!!! YOU DON'T KNOW [unspeed]how to read, you IDIOTS!!! You suck and hey!!! Why aren't you scared at all? :-( I don't understand...AT ALL. You look kinda bored. Are you lost? I bet you haven't been paying any attention to this story at all. You probably have NO idea what the fuck this story is about and my discman is sooo fucked up!!! I'm going to blame the air for being so....so, dirty...and it's all the bus's fault!!! No one else's!! Well...I really can't say that, but the majority is this god damn fucked up bus's fault!! URG!!!! Will it break down already! Umm...nahhh...That would be a bad idea...Then they'd go get the school bus for some stupid ass reason [they ended up get a nice vehicle when the bus broke down for those who don't know. It had a bed and everyone slept. It was NICE] and the ducks just wouldn't like it and Hubert the Duck would especially hate it. Ok, FINE!!! I LIED about Hubert the Duck!!! I'm SORRY but I wanted to...Hubert the Duck is actually a satyr with an alcohol problem, not a cow who eats ants...Happy now? I admit it. He's the idiot writing this story...He is soo fucked up right now. He's soo bored. Okeedokee. Ok! Why the hell is everyone so anxious to read this screwed up story??!! [everyone kept looking over my shoulder and it was so incredibvully annoying!!! They wouldn't leave me the hell alone! They kept asking if they could read it!!! Urrrggg.....] Maybe because it was written by God. Seriously. Have you ever met him? He's like the complete opposite of the stereotypical God! He's crazy. I love him. He HATES that, it's sooo funny! God HATES everyone! Do you blame him? Look outside for cryin' out loud! He created this place and GOD DAMN humans. But it's not his fault humans got so screwed up...at all. It's their fault....They're the airheads who got bored of their telepathic sense. The frogs on some other planet are even more screwed up!!! It's sooo sick! URG. Well, in 17698234 1/2 more years, we won't hafta worry about it anymore...ok!! That's IT!!! I've had it with this COLD SHIT!!!! Just give me hypothermia and kill me god dammit!!! [speed] I am sooooo pissed abour this blower and the fact that the tree [unspeed] will get me. There once lived a fucked up kid named Anonymous who was on milk. Aw, shit....Ammie KNOWS...Oh, well...Just DON'T tell Ammie or you'll die. URRRRRRGGGGG!!! The cold thing is back....*sob* It's not good...Anyway, the Anonymous kid was sooo screwed up. He always got high off of milk. Geeeez, for god's sake, just find a normal drug to get high off of!! IDIOT!!! People will get high off of anything these days. He should try catnip. Now THATS good stuff! Did you know that you can go anywhere in the past with that stuff? It's soo true! I've tried it, but...I'm God and I don't need some screwed up plant to do it for me. After you finish this story, you'll have some idea of how God really thinks. KILL ALL NOW!!! I HATE THEM SOOO MUCH!!! THEY ARE SOOO STUPID!!!! They call air outside "fresh". What the fuck is wrong with these people!! There is no fresh air!!! Have you ever SEEN fresh air?! H did when she was created...ok...I've got a feeling that Goat's hallucinating now...He seems to be all worked up over the flowers now. Y'know, they wouldn't get so upset if you didn't get all freaked out over singing flowers!! What is so evil about singing flowers anyway?! I DON'T get it, at all!! Ok, whoever just flashed me is going to get slaughtered. How dare they flash me without my permission! This is sooo incredibully annoying! I can't keep the god damn pen for more than 2 seconds strait! I want to kill someone now!!! I'd kill myself, but shouldn't I have some fun first? If I'm gonna commit suicide, I wanna commit homicide first so my life wouldn't be a complete waste. Hmmm...that's such an obvious yet GOOD plan!! BEWARE MILKY!!! I and the cows will eat you alive soon!! Wauhahahahaha! Alright...I'm mad...real mad...sometimes when fishes swim it's really cool cuz when a skinny goat thing catches it in its mouth, it swims away like a rainbow trout. Rainbow trouts don't really exist, you know...They're just some screwed up fishes' imagination. This screwed up bus is soooo annoying!!! It keeps vibrating like it wants to have sex with me or something. Ok....God left but that's ok...GREAT! No ideas now...Uhh....I sense that he's still here. I hide soo much from all of you and you never know it!!! Ehh...you wouldn't listen anyway...Did you know that I'm actually a mother? Tell me that's not sick! I think so...ok...well...the creature that I'm the mother to doesn't think so. Sorry....I just get scared. OK! Anyway, umm....so what do you think of periods anyway? Which kind you ask? Well, that's just something that you'll have to figure out for yourself cuz I have NO clue what one!!! It's 11:47 pm...err...more like 12:26....my watch is a bit screwed up. Does your watch ever look wacky? God I hate that word! HA! I've got the book with the lady who snaps in half!! Wheeehee!!! If I just picture only God being here, everyone else dies and it's not my gauly since I'm only picturing it. Do they really die I wonder? Anyway, someone's putting me to sleep. Oh...I know who! Well! I DON'T care! I can just do it myself! I've got soda! And it tastes sooo good too!!! Hmm...it's just not the same. It's not hard. HA!!!!!!! I DID IT!! I AM SOOOO AWAKE NOW!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!! AND IT'S SOOOO Fucking cool....hmm...ok! It worked for a few seconds...oh...I know....God doesn't want to hurt me even though I understand that he doesn't feel like writing anymore...ha! I scared him off! He's mad now, and scared. Geez, he always watches me! What's he so worked up about!!! I DON'T understand at all....he wants me to cross out stuff but I really don't...It fits in with the plot too much. This story wouldn't make sense without it. I've been on this shitty bus for...7 hours already on a 5 hour ride! Urrrrggg!! "Sometimes when I like to skate on spinach, my mom comes and steals my diaper," quoted one zebra who was an only child and had an uncle. Then he put on his sweater and went home. Shooting leaves drifted in the sky and killed the zebra. He died but he was happy because now he wouldn't have to be eaten. Scientists later discovered that zebras do inde3ed have black stripes! They noticed the stripes ended somewhere and felt soooo stupid because they never checked. They just wanted fucked up idiots like me to wonder about the stupid-ass question. They also rediscovered atoms, but they didn't believe that that was what they looked like because they still believe that the model, that someone MADE UP completely is right. I don't understand. Why can't they accept that they COULD be wrong? They've been trying to discover these nonexistant creatures for centuries now and they can't prove it because they think they're seeing the wrong thing. Ok, I am sooo pissed at the bus still. It is sooo discusting! And it's waaaay more discusting on the outside. Some asshole put on the engine just for the hell of it!! Why do they do that?!! It is sooo pointless and annoyingZ!! Don't they know there's creatures other than people living on this stupid shitty looking planet!! The roadkill victims are in so much trouble because of the bus. The bus has no brakes so they'd get his (plus the stupid-ass bus driver could probably care less). They could breathe and suffocate anyway from the poisoness shit that they obviously don't think of AT ALL. Urrrrgggg!!!! That also pisses me off sooo much!!!! The fucking new driving laws!! It just makes it harder for the creatures to breathe. They don't like it at all-you can even ask them. The trees especially hate it! They hate notebooks too. THAT'S IT!! I've had it! I'm adding notebooks to my hate list. And the discusting bus. I hate margins too if you haven't noticed. They are sooo screwed up and pointless. So are the stupid lines in the street. What's the point of them? Eeesh...even the frogs don't use those! Hmm...don't you HATE flat soda? I do. It tastes like a pepper. How come they don't make pepper soda? And what's the difference between a pepper and a cucmber? And I still can't figure out the point of the stupid lines on the roads!! I bet the God of the stupid lines on the road doesn't even know the real point! He thinks the point is to decorate the roads! What an asshole...ok! Anyway....umm....heeheeheehee!!! I'm in the place with the lawn chairs and the fucked up wall!!!!! Wheeeeheee!!! I never forgot any of this shit hole!!!! They're sooo stupid!!! They pretended to clean this place and all they did was give us new toweks and no tissues still!!! Wauhahahahahahahahahaeheheeeheeehaaa!! That is siii stupid!! Geeez, when's Goat just gonna kill Jake? I would if I knew how...seriously. Lots of people. I've got to be the shittiest psycho in the world. I'd feel worse killing a little green bug than a person-seriously. That was fun! Like my picture everyone? [I drew a picture of Jake nailed to a cross with a knife going threw his leg. It's beautiful] God signed it himself! Thee God! In my mind anyway...I am freezing. So the rabbit with the foreign eyelids came and it died by the lake because it wanted to. Actually, it lived and was very happy with life. So it was tortured so it would HATE life!!! The nice man with the green eyes would come and stick a knife in its back. "Eeeek!" said he. That picture was so much fun to draw, you should all try it someday.Ok! The fuckin' heater doesn't do anything. That's cheap. What's the point? Ummm...ok, anyway! There lived an anteater named Mr. Silverspoon. He liked to play in the woods. He could eat the plants and get high off of them. They died. THE END