The Thing

What gives this poem it's name?
You will soon find out
This thing comes in a one size fits all
It vibrates and is suitable for men and women of all ages
Men and women-single, married, or widowed
You can never get tired of this thing
Women especially seem to be attracted to the thing
So now, what is this thing, you ask
This thing is just what you thought it would be
That's right-it's a rumble pack
It's a thing for N64 controllers
It was designed so now you could enjoy making mistakes
Such as crashing into walls or being attacked by a harmless spider
I say, if you don't have a N64 already,
Go get one so you you can get this new, but cool invention and be happy for eternity
You can be worry free now of the pressures of being single
I bring this poem to an end