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There once lived a girl. We'll call her Bertha. Bertha lived in
a nice house. It was old, wooden, and it was black, but it needed
a paint job pretty badly. The shudders were crooked and falling
off. The only source of heat in this house was a single fireplace
in the living room. The house looked like ot had caught on fire a few times, but it never
did. There was no roof at all, so it was kinda tough for it to burn
down really. All the floor was was dirt. The house was built during
the time of the dinosaurs. Bertha lived in Finland and Finalnd was
nice and hot during that time, so they didn't build rooves on their
houses because they didn't really need them and the rain felt nice.
Anyway, the house also had an old deck in the back. If you layed
a toe on that deck, it would probably break in half.
But one day Bertha's parents went to New Hampshire. Bertha was home
alone for a whole weekend! Two days after Bertha's parents left,
Bertha noticed a python on her deck. She figured she was just hallucinating
or she was really drunk since she had been living on acid and hard
liquor since her parents left. But what she saw was real. The snake
noticed Bertha. He slithered threw the non-existant door and ate
Bertha whole. Then he wrote a note to Bertha's parents that read,
"A snake ate me. -Bertha". Hours later Bertha's parents came home. Her father read the note.
"God damn that child!" he spoke. "She's been drinking again! Can't
we ever leave her home alone?!" Then the sweet snake ate him and
his wife too and they lived happily ever after. THE END
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