Bart's Blackboard Sayings

7G08 *** None - Christmas Special

7G02 I will not waste chalk

7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls

7G04 I will not burp in class

7G05 *** None

7G06 I will not instigate revolution

7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class

7G07 I did not see Elvis

7G11 *** None

7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

7G13 Garlic gum is not funny

7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me

7G01 I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom

7F03 I will not encourage others to fly

7F03x I will not fake my way through life

7F02 Tar is not a plaything

7F04 *** None - Halloween Special

7F01 I will not Xerox my butt

7F01* It's potato, not potatoe

7F05 I will not trade pants with others

7F08 I am not a 32 year old woman

7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue

7F06 I will not drive the principal's car

7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

7F10* I will not sell school property

7F11* I will not cut corners

7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude

7F13 I will not make flatuent noises in class

7F15 I will not belch the National Anthem

7F16 I will not sell land in Florida

7F14 *** None

7F17 I will not grease the monkey bars

7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

7F19 *** None

7F20 I will not do anything bad ever again

7F21* I will not show off

7F22 I will not sleep through my education

7F24 I am not a dentist

8F01 Spitwads are not free speech

7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers

8F03 High explosives and school don't mix

8F03x I will not bribe Principal Skinner

8F04* I will not squeak chalk

8F05 I will finish what I sta

8F02 *** None - Halloween Special

8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

8F07 *** None

8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside

8F09 The Christmas Pageant does not stink

8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail

8F11 I will not carve gods

8F12 *** None

8F14 I will not spank others

8F16 *** None

8F13 I will not aim for the head

8F15* I will not barf unless I'm sick

8F15x I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills

8F20 Funny noises are not funny

8F21* I will not spin the turtle

8F22 I will not snap bras

8F23 I will not fake seizures

8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless

8F18 My name is not Dr. Death

9F01* I will not defame New Orleans

9F02 I will not prescribe medication

9F04 *** None - Halloween Special

9F03* I will not bury the new kid

9F05 I will not teach others to fly

9F06 I will not bring sheep to class

9F07 A burp is not an answer

9F08 Teacher is not a leper

9F09* Coffee is not for kids

9F10 I will not eat things for money

9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

9F12 The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head"

9F14 Goldfish don't bounce

9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

9F17 No one is interested in my underpants

9F16 I will not sell miracle cures

9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog

9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity

9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom

9F21* I will never win an Emmy

9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

1F02 *** None

1F01 *** None

1F04 *** None - Halloween Special

1F03 *** None

1F05 *** None

1F06 *** None

1F07* All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

1F11* My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

1F12 *** None

1F13 *** None

1F14 I am not delightfully saucy

1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

1F18* I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business

1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

1F22 Beans are neither fruit nor musical

1F17 *** None

2F33 I will not use abbrev.

2F01 I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.

2F02 *** None

2F03 *** None - Halloween Special

2F04 I will not send lard through the mail

2F05 I will not dissect things unless instructed

2F06 I will not whittle hall passes out of soap

2F07 *** None

2F08 Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

2F09 Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal

2F10 "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

2F11 Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

2F12 Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

2F13 I will not hang donuts on my person

2F14 I will remember to take my medication

2F31 *** None

2F15 I will not strut around like I own the place

2F18 The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

2F19 I do not have power of attorney over first graders

2F32 Nerve gas is not a toy

2F21 I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

2F22 The First Amendment does not cover burping

2F16* This is not a clue...or is it?

2F20* I will not complain about the solution when I hear it

3F01 No one wants to hear from my armpits

3F02 I am not a lean mean spitting machine

3F03 The boys room is not a water park

3F04 *** None - Halloween Special

3F05 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

3F06 *** None

3F08 Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

3F31* I will only do this once a year

3F07 I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

3F10 I am not certified to remove asbestos

3F09 *** None

3F11 *** None

3F12 *** None

3F13 *** None

3F14 *** None

3F16 *** None

3F18 *** None

3F20 *** None

3F21 *** None

3F22 *** None

4F02 *** None - Halloween Special

3F23 I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten

4F03 I am not my long-lost twin

4F05 *** None

4F04 *** None

4F01* *** None

4F07 *** None

3F24 *** None

3G01* The truth is not out there

4F08 I am not licensed to do anything

4F10 *** None

3G03 I will not hide the teacher's Prozac

4F12 *** None

4F11 *** None

4F14 *** None

4F13 *** None

4F15 *** None

4F09 *** None

4F16 A fire drill does not demand a fire

4F17 *** None

4F18 *** None

4F19 *** None

4F20 *** None - Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase

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