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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ISSUE TWO$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$JANUARY/FEBUARY 2000$$$$$$$$$
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CONTENTS:
-INTRODUCTION
-UPDATES
-THE THEORETICAL PHYISICIST'S HOUR--EGGO
-CHEAPSKATE'S CORNER--KORNFEID
-SHOP CLASS--EGGO
-GREAT QUOTES--VARIOUS AUTHORS
-CONCLUTION
INTRODUCTION:
WELCOME TO THE SECOND ISSUE OF SMITE. I AM NOT IN SUCH LIGHT SPIRITS THIS ISSUE. MY FRIEND AND CO-WRITER OF THIS ZINE, JAMES AVERY, AKA KORNFEID, IS DEAD. HE DIED ON JANUARY 1ST, KILLED BY SOME DRUNKEN REDNECK, WHILE ON HIS WAY TO GET FOOD AFTER A PARTY AT OUR DORM. JAMES IS THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTERESTED IN PHREAKING, AND SHOWED ME A LOT OF WHAT I KNOW ABOUT IT. I'VE DECIDED TO CONTINUE WITH THE ZINE, PUBLISH THE LAST OF HIS "CHEAPSKATE'S CORNER" ARTICLES, THEN CONTINUE THEM MYSELF. THIS ZINE WAS HIS IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO I DEDICATE THIS, AND ALL SUBSIQUENT ISSUES TO HIM. THIS IS FOR YOU JAMES.
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************************UPDATES************************
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--YOU CAN IN FACT HACK THE NEW VERSION OF NETZERO, YOU JUST HAVE TO CHANGE THE NAME OF NET.DLL *AFTER* YOU OPEN THE PROGRAM, BUT BEFORE YOU LOG ON. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IT BACK TO SIGN ON AGAIN, BUT HEY, IT'S FREE, SHUT UP.
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* THEORETICAL PHYSICIST'S HOUR -- BY: EGGO *
* *
* --BELL'S THEOREM, AND FASTER THAN LIGHT MODEMS-- *
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I RECENTLY SAW A VERY THOUGHT-PROVOKING SHOW ON THE LEARNING CHANNEL. IT WAS ALL ABOUT QUANTUM MECHANICS AND THE LIKE, ONE PARTICULAR SEGMENT, COVERING BELL'S THEOREM, GOT ME TO THINKING. HERE IS MY IDEA:
FIRST, AN EXPLANATION OF THE CONCEPT. I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE ACTUAL MATHMATICS OF BELL'S THEOREM, BUT RATHER THE POSIBLE APPLICATIONS. FOR STARTERS, IMAGINE A PAIR OF PHOTONS, THEY ARE COMPLETE OPOSITES. I.E. PHOTON "a" HAS A PARTICULAR SPIN, CHARGE, AND ALL THE OTHER ATRIBUTES THAT A PHOTON CAN HAVE. PHOTON "b" HAS ALL THE SAME TRAITS, ONLY IN REVERSE, REVERSE SPIN, OPOSITE CHARGE, AND EVERYTHING ELSE. IF YOU WERE TO CHANGE ANY ONE OF THOSE ATRIBUTES, THE SAME THING WOULD HAPPEN TO THE OTHER, INSTANTLY. REGARDLESS OF DISTANCE.
SO IF I HAD A PAIR OF THESE PHOTONS (ACTUALY IT CAN BE ANY PARTICLE), EACH IN A CONTAINER, AND SENT ONE TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, (OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER) AND CHANGED THE POLAIRITY OF PHOTON "a", THE POLARITY OF PHOTON "b" WOULD ALSO CHANGE. (THIS HAS BEEN DONE ALREADY, BY A FRENCH PHYSICIST NAMED ALAIN ASPECT IN 1882.)
RIGHT ABOUT HERE I STARTED TO PONDER THE PRACTCAL USES FOR A DIVICE BASED ON THIS CONCEPT. IF YOU WERE TO BUILD A MODEM-LIKE DIVICE, BUT INSTEAD OF A PHONE LINE, IT IS CONNECTED SOMTHING TO CHANGE THE POLARITY OF THE PHOTON IN YOUR BRAND NEW "PARTICLE COMUNICATIONS DIVICE", (THE COMPUTER YOU ARE TRYING TO COMUNICATE WITH HAS THE COUNTERPART OF YOUR PHOTON, IN IT'S "PCD") AND MESSAGES ARE SENT, OVER INSANE DISTANCES, INSTANTLY.
ONE OF THE MAJOR HURDLES TO OVERCOME BEFORE WE CAN SEND PEOPLE TO MARS, IS THE FACT THAT IT TAKES RADIO WAVES FIFTEEN MINUTES TO GET THERE. WITH A DIVICE LIKE THIS, THAT WAITING TIME WOULD SHRINK DOWN TO ZERO. IF MAJOR INTERNET BACKBONES USED "PCD'S" INSTEAD OF CABLES, THE SPEED OF THE INTERNET WOULD JUMP EXPONENTIALY. IF THESE BECAME WIDELY USED, THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD SLOW THE COMMUNICATIONS PROSESS WOULD BE THE PEOPLE AT EITHER END.
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* CHEAPSKATE'S CORNER -- KORNFEID *
* *
* LIE, CHEAT AND STEAL *
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WELL, YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE A BADASS NOW BECAUSE YOU CAN GET FREE COKES HUH? WELL WAIT 'TILL YOU SEE WHAT 'OL KORNFEID HAS IN STORE FOR YOU THIS MONTH.
HOW TO SURVIVE COLLEGE ON LESS THAN TWO ALTERIAN DOLLARS A DAY:
1) LIE
EXAMPLE: YOU ARE HUNGRY, MOST PEOPLE WOULD GO TO McDONALDS AND BUY A BURGER. NOT YOU! YOU SIMPLY WALK TO THE NEAREST PAYPHONE, MAKE A CALL TO THE MICKEY D'S AND SAY THE FOLLOWING (HINT: SOUND PISSED):
"GODDAMNIT! I JUST CAME THROUGH YOUR FUCKING DRIVE-THRU AND YOU FUCKED MY ORDER ALL UP!!"
"OK SIR, IF YOU'LL JUST GIVE ME YOUR NAME, I'LL GIVE YOU STORE CREDIT."
"I DON'T WANT NO FUCKING STORE CREDIT. I WANT MY FUCKING BURGER!"
"ALRIGHT SIR, IF YOU CAN COME BACK TO THE STORE, WE WILL CORRECT YOUR ORDER."
"FINE! I'LL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES, MY NAME IS JOE BLOW, AND YOU HAD BETTER HAVE MY ORDER REDAY WHEN I GET THERE."
(SOMETIMES)"ALRIGHT SIR WHAT WAS MISSING FROM YOUR ORDER?"
"TWO BURGERS AND SOME FRIES."
YOU GET TO THE STORE, THEY WILL ASK TO SEE YOUR RECEIPT, THIS IS WHERE THE CLEVER PART COMES IN, YOU GIVE THEM AN OLD RECEIPT THAT YOU HAVE SPILLED KETCHUP ON, COVERING THE DATE. (MAKE SURE THAT THE ORDER ON IT RESEMBLES WHAT YOU "ORDERED")
THEY WILL USUALY GIVE YOU THE FOOD WITHOUT QUESTION, BUT IF THEY SAY ANYTHING, JUST KEEP BITCHING ABOUT YOUR HUNGRY KID (OR SOMTHING ALONG THOSE LINES). AND MAKE SURE TO HOLD UP THE LINE, THEY ARE MORE LIKELY TO SUBMIT TO YOUR PLOY IF THEY ARE UNDER STRESS FROM OTHER CUSTUMORS TOO.
2) CHEAT
SO MAYBE YOU HAVE A JOB, MAYBE YOU DON'T. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE REALY, YOU'RE STILL BROKE ALL THE TIME. SO YOU NEED TO GET MONEY FROM EVERYONE WHO WILL GIVE IT TO YOU.
EXAMPLE: YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD OF THE COMPANIES LIKE ALLADVANTAGE.COM THAT WILL PAY YOU FOR DISPLAYING A BANNER ON YOUR DESKTOP, SIGN UP FOR AS MANY OF THESE AS YOU CAN FIND.
NOW, YOU NEED ANOTHER VIDEO CARD (YOU SHOULDN'T NEED A MONITOR ATTACHED TO IT, BUT I HAD AN EXTRA SO I HOOKED IT UP. NOW YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS, BUT WINDOWS 98 HAS MULTI-MONITOR SUPPORT, SO YOU SET THE BANNERS UP TO RUN ON YOUR EXTRA MONITOR, ALONG WITH A BROWSER WINDOW. NOW ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS WRITE A MACRO (OR USE A PROGRAM, THEY ARE WIDELY AVAILABLE) THAT WILL MOVE THE MOUSE AND CHANGE THE URL PERIODICLY, AND YOU HAVE SOMTHING THAT YOU CAN RUN 24-7, AND "EARN" AS MUCH AS $120 A MONTH! (BETWEEN ME AND EGGO, WE MAKE ABOUT $250 PER MONTH) NEEDLESS TO SAY, YOU SHOULD HAVE THE MONEY SENT TO A P.O. BOX, SO YOU CAN CHANGE IT IF THE COMPANY CATCHES ON (SOMETIMES THEY DO).
3) STEAL
YOU CAN SUPLIMENT YOUR INCOME BY FLAT-OUT STEALING. I DON'T LIKE DOING THIS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T TAKE ANY TALENT.
EXAMPLE: MAKE SOME THERMITE. STEAL A ROLL OF MAGNISIUM RIBBON FROM YOUR LOCAL CHEMISTRY CLASS. MAKE LITTLE PACKETS OF THERMITE THAT ARE SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN THE KEYHOLE OF A PAYPHONE, STICK A PACKET INTO EACH OF THE KEYHOLES THAT ARE USED TO OPEN THE CASH BOX (THERE ARE THREE) PUT A TWO-INCH SLICE OF MAGNISIUM IN AFTER THE THERMITE, SO THAT IT STILL STICKS OUT. LIGHT THE RIBBON YOU DON'T REALY NEED A BLOWTORCH, YOU CAN LIGHT IT WITH A REGULAR BUTANE LIGHTER, IT JUST TAKES LONGER. NOW GET THE FUCK BACK!
THIS STUFF BURNS *VERY* BRIGHTLY, SO IF THERE IS ANYONE AROUND, DON'T DO IT.
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* SHOP CLASS -- EGGO *
* *
* THE NOT-QUITE-AS-POOR MAN'S TONE DAILER *
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SO YOU AREN'T QUITE AS POOR AS LAST MONTH, YOU EITHER: 1) KNOCKED OVER A LIQUOR STORE 2) YOU ELECTRONICLY TRANSFERED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INTO YOUR SWISS BANK ACCOUNT. WHICH EVER IT WAS, YOU HAVE SOME MONEY NOW, SO LET'S BUILD SOMTHING.
FIRST THINGS FIRST, GO GET A RADIO SHACK TONE DIALER (THE CHEAP ONE, $16. YOU'RE STILL POOR REMEMBER?). TAKE IT HOME AND CRACK IT OPEN. BE SURE TO BURN THE BOX AND ALL THE DOCS, (BECAUSE YOU'RE SO 1337, THE FEDS ARE GOING THROUGH YOUR TRASH) AND REPLACE THE CRYSTAL WITH YOUR 'LEET NEW REDBOX XTAL. NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, "BUT EGGO, I CAN ONLY MAKE NICKLE TONES--BECAUSE I'M POOR." AND MY RESPONSE IS,"SHUT UP, I'M GETTING TO THAT PART!"
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW, IS PUT A MOMENTARY TACT SWITCH (NORMALY OPEN) ACROSS PINS ONE AND SIXTEEN. RUN THE SWITCH TO SOMEWHERE ON THE CASE, CLOSE IT UP, AND YOU'RE READY TO GO.
TURN ON THE DIALER, PUNCH IN FIVE *'S AND PRESS YOUR NEW BUTTON. WAIT THREE SECONDS, AND THERE YOU GO, A QUARTER TONE! APPARENTLY THE CHIP STORES THE LAST 31 NUMBERS PRESSED SENCE YOU TURNED IT ON. YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE *'S EVERY TIME, BUT HEY, YOU'RE POOR.
OTHER NOTES: IF YOU PUT THE SWITCH ACROSS PINS 16 AND 8, YOU WILL GET A TONE BEFORE IT PLAYS BACK THE QUARTER TONE, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT FREQ, OR WHY IT'S THERE, BUT IT IS. I FOUND ALL THIS STUFF OUT WHILE TRYING TO FIND DTMF A-D, THIS CHIP CAN'T MAKE THEM.
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* GREAT QUOTES *
* *
* VARIOUS QUOTES THAT I THOUGHT WERE GOOD *
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FROM MTV'S CHOOSE OR LOSE PUBLIC FORUM (WHATEVER YOU MAY SAY ABOUT MTV, THEY DID PUBLISH THESE, REGARDLESS OF THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THEM):
DON'T WANT MY MTV
I'm a high school student. I do not possess the right to wear a shirt that has an anti-swastika symbol. I do not possess the right to write about faculty and administrative decisions in a negative light. I do not possess the right to privacy within my locker. I cannot distribute a "zine" or alternative newspaper in my school for fear of expulsion.
I'm sick of being censored, and so I dare you, MTV, to censor me based on this following comment: MTV is nothing but a cheapening of art. It takes music and turns it into commercials. It finds what sells and then airs it, ultimately in order to sell that oh-so-precious product, the viewer.
Choose or lose? It's ironic that MTV should start a campaign like this. It almost implies that MTV is a socially conscious network. But then I glance at the screen, and swoosh-- just do it.
Or maybe I see Brittany Spears televised like an artificial piece of meat-- am I suppose to crave this girl? She is my age. We've all got hormones, we've all got innocence, they're gonna be lost sometime, right MTV?
Then there's Kid Rock. A real role-model with his degradation of women and his promotion of a lifestyle of recklessness, apathy, selfishness. Take what you can. But he put out a slow song. Should I feel bad for him, he almost seems like he's been victimized? Hah. Sex sells, especially cheap sex, to the desperate adolescent in us all, right MTV?
Fred from Limp Bizkit, now that is a cool guy, nice red Yankees hat there. Anyone ever mention Fred's ploy to get airtime on major radio stations? Or how 'bout his inciting the riot at Woodstock and then denying responsibility. He's a cool cat though, it's alright. Violence sells to angst-ridden teens, right MTV?
Pop-punk, swing, and ska, go ahead, rape the subcultures. Money is money, profit is profit, right MTV?
Choose or Lose?
Choose who?
Democrats, Republicans. Lose who? Everyone looking for a choice.
Who cares. Isn't that what you want in the end? Me not to care about anything but Brittany's breast size and Travis' latest tattoo. And where in the world is Carson Daly now? Coming up, after this...swoosh, just do it.
-dhcgrrl, FL
People don't care about politics because we're living in an age of prosperity. It seems each day I tune into CNN to learn of another Wall St. record. Meanwhile, globalization and exploitation is proliferating, under the booming surface. As long as we see green (cash of course, the corporations are sawing through the real greens of South America), everything is alright. But it's not. American culture is dead. All we've got are some glamorous Barbie dolls and Ken with his clique, singing about love and lost love. We're rotting away in this plastic life. The media, the corporations, the candidates, they'd prefer to keep us drugged, distracted from the real issues that are affecting and will affect real lives. I don't want to hear about a Christian's moral crusade or Bush's drug history. I don't care about the sex life of anyone but me. I don't care about the slight differences in health-care plans. I care about sanctions that kill millions of Iraqi children, or U.S concrete bombs that ruin their homes. I care about money in politics. I care about politicians who have mastered the deceptive art of being politicians. I care about health care. I care about the inner-cities falling apart and the homeless too scared to enter homeless shelters (and so we apply the handcuffs). I care about the mentally-ill that roam our cities. I care about multinational corporations treating the environment like an imperial venture. I care about that seven year-old who made your Nikes. I care about that potato that isn't quite as natural as it looks. I care about the false sense of NATO's purpose. I care about a media that is supposed to keep me informed but is too distracted by my buying power. I'm an adolescent male, I like Vans shoes and listen to punk rock. I drink root beer, I like its taste. Go ahead and buy me, NBC. Try to take my soul, Fox. I'll give you 120 minutes of my time MTV, come and get me... try.
-bored in the USA, DC
SIG LINE HALL OF FAME:
"Windows is a 32bit graphical shell which links to a 16 bit patch to a 8bit
operating system made to run on a 4 bit microprocessor by a 2 bit company that
can't stand one bit of competition."
--Usurp, via usenet
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* CONCLUTION--EGGO *
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WELL, THIS EDITION WAS MUCH HARDER THAN THE FIRST, BUT I THINK IT TURNED OUT ALLRIGHT. I STILL NEED ARTICLES, SO IF YOU HAVE SOMTHING TO EXPRESS (UPL TURNED DOWN YOUR ARTICLE?--SEND IT MY WAY), SEND IT TO: EGGOTWRP@HOTMAIL.COM
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I FREQUENT ALT.PHREAKING ON USENET SO LOOK FOR MY WISE [[chuckle]] WORDS THERE. BUT READ THE FAQ FIRST!! IT CAN BE FOUND AT: http://members.tripod.com/SeusslyOne
WANT TO TELL ME HOW LEET I AM? GENERALY KISS MY ASS? CALL ME A DUMB FUCK? I CAN BE REACHED AT EGGOTWRP@HOTMAIL.COM I RESPOND TO (MOST) MAIL, SO IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME SOMTHING THAT IS YOUR BEST BET.
COPYWRITE (C) 2000 BY EGGO
