When we are growing in Earth's and God's programs we have various levels, including a starting point.  This starting point in both cases is a birth (a coming into a new world).  In the case of the physical earth, we are physically born.  In the case of the world of heaven we are spiritually born by choosing to enter into the spiritual world, God has provided for us.

On earth we leave the security of reliance within our physical mother  and join a family.  As part of our way to heaven we leave earth's ways by renouncing our reliance on our mother earth and ourselves and accepting a new reliance and family (the religion and church we selected).  This earthly manifestation (the church) of God's family is only provided us, to assist us in making that transition into our future; just as our initial earthly family becomes a model for us to establish our own earthly family.

As part of our early life we were babies (totally dependent on others for everything).  We then started our growth path (toddler, pre-adolescent, adolescent, etc.).  As part of our spiritual life we also grow in relation to control over our ego, emotions, and other aspects of our life.

There are additional steps in our earthly growth (first words or steps, school, etc.).  In our spiritual growth there are various steps, (entry (birth), baptism, marriage within the church, etc.).

How would you train a child to have a personal relationship with God?

Each family on earth as well as each school has it own methods and rules.  Each religion and church has its own set of rules or methods.  The methods and rules provide guidance toward the ultimate goals of growth.

As a earthly student you use various methods and media to help you grow, therefore as heavenly students we must use various methods and media to help us grow.  Jesus reminds us that our speech and actions reveal the true underlying beliefs, attitudes and motivations.  We see in the following quote that we must start with our heart.

(Luke 6:15)
"a good person brings good out of the treasure of good things in his heart; a bad person brings bad out of his treasure of bad things.  The mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

Share what you consider to be your deepest spiritual need, and how you plan on meeting this need?

(Proverbs 1:2-6)
"Here are proverbs that will help you recognize wisdom and good advice, and understand saying with deep meaning. They can teach you how to live intelligently and how to be honest, just, and fair.  They can make  an inexperienced person clever and teach young men how to be resourceful.  These proverbs can even add to the knowledge of wise men and give guidance to the educated, so that they can understand the hidden meanings of proverbs and the problems that wise men raise."

Where do you need wisdom now?

Now let us move on from our heart to communication.  Jesus models for us the necessity and the benefits of prayer.  Frequently in the Gospels, Jesus is pictured as lifting up thanks to God, drawing strength from God, and pulling away for a time in prayer.  Clearly, prayer was essential for Christ.  Prayer is a valuable tool for us to use in Christian living, but it needs to be used with a trusting heart.  It needs to be accompanied with commitment and by active listening.

"If you're too proud (or too afraid) to admit you are hurting...  Don't be surprised if nobody seems to care" (Robert Schuler).

In this lesson we will learn more about prayer by discussing it.  You will explore your own feelings about prayer.  You will explore what intimacy with God can mean as we pray to him.  What is prayer?

A.  Communication.

Does God "talk" to you now and how?

One way of coming alive to the presence of Good in a living relationship is through prayer.  Many people who do not experience God's presence in their lives express the feeling of being lost in the universe.  Those who lack purpose and meaning feel the "Lostness" that William Adam Brown described in "The Life of Prayer in a world of Science."

"In the last analysis it comes to this: either we are alone in the universe, facing its unsolved mysteries and its appalling tragedies with only the helpless as we are or there is someone who hears us when we speak and answers when we call."

Brown concluded:

"The man who has learned to pray is no longer alone in the universe.  He is living in his 'father's house'."

What do you think the apostle Paul meant when he said to "pray continually" or "pray all the time?"

But just as a coach, earthly Father or Best Friend, God may not always be able to help you with your difficulties directly.  He will be there to provide support to you mentally and emotionally.  Jesus taught that the essence of prayer is private communication.  How does he provide this support:

(Matthew 6:6)
"But when you pray,  go to your room, close the door, and pray to you Father, who is unseen.  And your Father, who sees what you do in private, will reward you."

What bad habits have you picked up in prayer and what do you need to do about it? 

One of the key factors in any relationship between two intelligent beings; is communication.  As a infant you expressed your wishes through your verbal expression of crying.

We express ourselves in God our Father in a similar way.  We cry to him by simply stating our needs and help desired for difficult situations.

Just as when we grow in our earthly life; we learn that verbal communication can be used for more than just stating our needs.  It can be used for conversation, for expressing our feelings, and many other forms of inter-relational communications.

As we grow in God's family we develop our communication with him.  But since this relationship is spiritual, we must learn to communicate in a spiritual way.  This way requires us to speak with our mind and emotions.  Verbal communication only serves a purpose if it is a joint activity with other humans, or when it helps focus our mental thoughts.  It does not replace a mental and emotional communication.  We can never pray too much if our prayers are honest and sincere.  Before you start to pray, make sure you mean what you say.

(Matthew 6:8)
"Do not be like them.  Your Father already knows what you need before you ask him."

As Children of our Father in Heaven we should not make our discussions with him, ones that concentrate on petitions for our own satisfaction.  We should pray that God's will might be done, and his rule established as fully on earth as it is in the world that is unseen.  All a child needs for himself, is to be allowed to take part in the purpose he has been created for and so he asks only for his daily needs to be supplied, his failures to be forgiven, and to be helped to do his best and avoid evil (Matt. 6:1-18).

An initial response to this may be that this is only a one sided communication; from you to God.  Just as we needed to learn to listen to verbal communication and to understand it.  We must do the same for spiritual communication.

We learn that it is not in storm or fire that God speaks but in the silence and stillness of a receptive heart (1 Kings 19:11-12).

This communication takes many forms.  But they all start with a complete trust, and commitment to live a life as a Child of God.  As a result of this attitude, you will find a peaceful mental and emotional state.  Within this state God will communicate to you through your thoughts being guided, along with your emotions.  You will find your whole life being guided.

How am I going to get to know God?

Next time you go through a difficult time try to appreciate the experience and grow from it, learning what God wants to teach you.

(Isaiah 30:19-21) 
"The Lord is compassionate, and when you cry to him for help, he will answer you.

"The Lord will make you go through hard times but he himself will be there to teach you, and you will not have to search for him anymore.

"If you wander off the road to the right or the left, you will here his voice behind you saying: 'Here is the road.  Follow it.'"

It is extremely unlikely that God will ever speak to you directly.  But once you are at peace within yourself; you will find God responding to you, in a guidance way.

Just as you will find yourself communicating with your best friends on earth; you will be communicating with your Father in Heaven.

But with this communication you will find that he is always there.  He is always listening.

This communication should reflect our trust, repentance for improper relational actions (sins), respect and our love.  We should work at establishing this link.  Just as you may greet a mate/spouse with a "Good Morning", "I love you", and other communication we should talk to our God through our mind and emotions.  We should establish a regular time where we state our relationship of Love, Trust, Glory, etc.  Just as we may talk over breakfast or dinner with other members of our earthly family, we should talk to our coaches.

(Isaiah 50:4-6)
"The Sovereign Lord has taught me what to say, so that I can strengthen the weary.  Every morning he makes me eager to hear what he is going to teach me.  The Lord has given me understanding, and I have not rebelled or turned away from him."

What would it mean for you to start your day by listening to God?  How might you do so?

When we praise him we remind ourselves of what is fundamentally important.  When we thank him we humbly remember our utter dependence on his care.  When we pray for people we are encouraged to then go out and do something to help them.  Prayer is a self-help exercise.

The spiritual law of praying iis that we must seek and be willing to accept the will of God - whatever it may be for us.  Our prayer must not be efforts to bend God to our will or desires - but to yield ourselves to Him - whatever they may be.

It is this matter of the surrender of our wills to God's will that is hard for us.

It is this unknown factor - sometimes not knowing what is God's will in a particular case - that makes praying dangerous.

Real praying - that is, talking with God - and maintaining communications with Him as being in charge of your life and activities - demands real commitment.

It's easy to tell people when to pray.  It's often very difficult to figure out in a living situation when is the right time.  Have you ever been confronted with the decision to "pray or not to pray?"  How did it work out?  What was good/not so good about it?  How could it have improved?  What will you watch for in future situations?

Many people find it difficult to pray privately.  What do you think some reasons are for that?

Just as when we grow in our earthly life; we learn that verbal communication can be used for more than just stating our needs.  It can be used for conversation, for expressing our feelings, and many other forms of inter-relational communications.

One of the tools God provides us to assist us in this action, is the ability to pray to him (talk to Him).  This prayer should be directed to committing ourselves to his "will being done" and asking him for the grace or ability to trust him and to cope with the acting out of his will.  We should make this a natural part of our day as we go through with it.  It should occur as if you were working side by side with your best friend, because you are.  Your conversation with him should take place within your heart and mind as things occur within your day,  And another factor is, if you start your day with committing yourself to his control, you will be living a prayer.

What is prayer?  It is talking to God.  It is telling him of our feelings, our needs, our wants, our hopes.  Prayer is when we open our lives to God.  When we trust God, open our lives to his work and bring our cares to him, we obey Christ's command to pray in faith.

God knows our needs. He knows our helplessness.  He knows that there is no area of our lives in which we are truly in control of our destinies.  Recognizing our own helplessness and dependency upon God, we are drawn to prayer.  In short, God invites us to open every aspect of our lives to his creative power. 

Prayer is the most direct expression of our relationship with God.  It is always an intimate dialog.  As we open ourselves to God in prayer, he gives himself to us.  God comforts our anxieties and teaches us how to live.  Prayer can be the most rewarding joy of our Christian lives.  Prayer is not an option, God has commanded us to pray (Phil. 4:6-7).

Prayer forces us to face and acknowledge our helplessness.  We have to recognize our need in order to be healed.  Moreover, prayer invites God to involve himself in our lives.  He wants to help us to grow to be more like him, yet he waits for our invitation.

How might praying with another person bring you closer to each other?  What's special about that?  Have you ever had such experiences with others?

What do you think about expressing such feelings as anger, sadness, bitterness and fear quite strongly to God in Prayer?

(Proverbs 1:22-33)
"Foolish people!  How long do you want to be foolish?  How long will you enjoy making fun of knowledge?  Will you never learn?  Listen when I reprimand you; I will give you good advice and share my knowledge with you.  I have been calling you, inviting you to come, but you would not listen.  You paid no attention to me.  You have ignored all my advice and have not been willing to let me correct you.  So when you get into trouble.  I will laugh at you.  I will make fun of you when terror strikes - when it comes on you like a storm, bringing fierce winds of trouble, and you are in pain and misery.  Then you will call for wisdom, but I will not answer.  You may look for me everywhere, but you will not find me.  You have never had any use for knowledge and have always refused to obey the Lord.  You have never wanted my advice or paid any attention when I corrected you.  So then you will get what you deserve, and your own actions will make you sick.  Inexperienced people die because they reject wisdom.  Stupid people are destroyed by their own lack of concern.  But whoever listens to me will have security.  I will be safe, with no reason to be afraid.

What will you do to "get wise?"

"Yet prayer... to do our duty, to glorify God, to do good works, to live a good life, to die in the fear and favor of God.  These things God delights to give, and commands that we shall ask and we may with confidence expect to be answered graciously... Our prayers must be fervent, intense, earnest, and importunate" (Jeremy Taylor - The Rule and Exercises of Holy Living).

Do  you have a favorite source of prayers or at least one prayer with which you are acquainted?  What makes those prayers special to you?

Share the pros and cons, for you in regard to praying alone?

"Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of living...  Prayer is our attachment to the utmost.  Without God in sight, we are like the scattered rungs of a broken ladder.  To pray is to become a ladder on which thoughts mount to God to join the movement toward Him which surges unnoticed throughout the entire universe" (A. J. herchel, Quest for God-1954).

Which of us has not tried to bargain with God?  We hope, as Abraham did, not to make God impatient nor angry, butt to somehow get our way nevertheless.

The result of our prayers depend upon what God we believe in.  If we believe in a wholesale God who can deliver material goods or a business God who ensures raises and promotions, our prayers will disappoint us.

If, on the other hand, we believe in the God who Jesus came to reveal, our prayer will be a simple act of trust that God will be faithful to us, and we shall never be let down.

"Here, I believe, is the key to understanding, what is most personal in prayer.  We do not pray to tell God what he does not know, nor to remind him of things he has forgotten.  He already cares for the things we pray about; his attention to them has never flagged from the beginning, and his understanding is unfathomable.  He has simply been waiting for us to care about them with him.  When we pray, we stand by God and look with them with him.  When we pray, we stand by God and look with him toward those people and problems.  When we lift our eyes from them toward him, we do so with loving praise, just as we look toward our oldest and dearest friends and tell them how we care for them, though they already know it.  We confess to God what we are and what we have done.  We express our faith in  him.  We thank him for what he is and what he has done for us.  None of this is news to our heavenly Father.  We speak to him as we speak to our most intimate friends - so that we can commune together in love" (Knowing the Face of God-Tim Stafford)..

Share a time you can remember when you felt close to God.  If this experience includes prayer, share how prayer enhanced the experience.  If it did not include prayer, share any possible ways in which the experience may have resembled prayer.

It is only by sharing painful moments honestly with God that people are able to think out how, the situation and how God relates.

Neither God nor others are concerned with eloquent words only that genuine communication takes place.  Paul wrote: "For we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words" (Rom. 8:26).  Many times the best prayer is the one most difficult to express, coming from the heart and reflecting genuine concern.  As John Bunyon said, "In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart."

B.  Getting to Know Each Other

How is the Christian church like a family?  How is it different?

Another important factor in any relationship, is getting to know each other.  We do it in many ways.  One of the ways is to exchange information (i.e. verbally, picture albums, letters, etc.).

Look at the stars.  The most universally awesome experience that mankind knows is to stand alone on a clear night and look at the stars.  Nothing  gives us a greater sense of one's own littleness and insignificance.  Our minds reel; our imaginations cannot grasp it, we are left mentally dizzy.  It is God who created them, and we can know him through, his creation.

All His works of creation display His Plan for us, and until we see it in them we  just are not seeing them as they were meant to be seen.  We also cannot understand their place in the plan of God unless we know what end they serve.  We may go wrong here if we think that because God is love and/or that we are gods; the universe and life was created for our control and joy.

(Luke 11:28)
But Jesus answered, "Rather, how happy are those who hear the word of God and obey it!"

Well God has arranged for authors, inspired by him, to put forth books that provide a link of communication.  We have used one of them heavily within this course, the Bible.  It is important that we spend time on a regular basis, to acquire this knowledge of our Father.  

God speaks to us through his Word.  Christians have always recognized that regular feeding on and responding to the Word nourishes Christian growth.  Through the Bible we learn how to become more Christ-like.  The Bible is the Christian's most important tool for living a moral life which will be pleasing to God.  Proper interpretation is worth little unless it is accompanied by obedience.  And in order to obey, we must know Him.  By examining Jesus' actions principles, and attitudes, we can understand God more clearly.

(Luke 10:22)
"My Father has given me all things.  No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

How does a sense of being blessed by knowing Jesus influence your response to God?

We have to open up every corner of our hearts and minds to Him.  We dare not say one thing with our lips and mean another thing in our hearts.

Being really honest with God does not come easily to any one of  us.

When God answers prayer, we have to follow His guidance or take the consequences. 

God expects us never to question that He is a God of love... who loves us each one individually.

There are other books, printed matter, visual aids, audio materials and many other means and methods.

(Luke 6:46-48)
"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and yet don't do what I tell you?  Anyone who comes to me and listens to my words and obeys them - I will show you what he is like.  He is like a man who, in building  his house, dug deep and laid the foundation on rock.  The river flooded over and hit that house but could not shake it, because it was well built."

During the last "storm" to hit your life, what did you learn about your life's "foundation?"

We see here where our base of the training program is "Listens to my words and obey them."  We also need to establish a relationship with our fellow spiritual family in heaven (i.e. Christ, etc.) and our earth based family (i.e. the Church).  Juse as earthly fathers are pleased when their earthly children get along, our heavenly father is pleased when their earthly children get along, our heavenly father is pleased when his children got along.  We may share Love, Trust, thoughts, needs anything that is important to us.

Another example is the sharing of knowledge of our God verbally with each other.  This can be done by listening to our brothers and sisters, who have made a special effort to learn about our heavenly Father and other family members.  They have studied in order to share with us.  But an equally important aspect of this sharing is listening to other brother and sisters and how our Father is acting and relating to them in their life.  This is one of the most important aspects of the earthly manifestations of his heavenly family, the church.

The church allows us to share with other members of his family our, doubts, fears, needs, feelings, etc.  Just as in a earthly family, their are areas that we share with our parents, and other areas that we share with our brothers, sisters and friends, at meals, one on one exchanges, and group discussions.

How do you wish your relationship with God could be better?

C.  Doing Things for each Other

One means of sharing Love is doing things for each other.  God is constantly doing things for us (i.e. life, other humans, food, etc.).  We do things for other family members.  This is the way we can return what God is doing for us.  Just as a earthly father receives great pleasure from family members helping each other, God receives pleasure.

Just as earthly family members are not expected to dedicate their life to doing things for others, but are expected to help each other when the need is present, they are available, and are capable of helping.  An example would be when a older child in a family is home from school, is physically capable; baby-sits for a younger child when needed.  We must help those who God has made their need known to us, and provides us the means to help.

The term body of Christ describes people united by Jesus Christ into a real community.  This "family-ness" of Christianity entails both benefits and responsibilities.  We are called to discover what in-depth caring is all about.

What am I going to do for others?

We caring Christians follow the example of our Lord Jesus.  He loved.  He grieved.  He became angry.  He nurtured.  All of these are elements of deep relationships.  Jesus did not mince words, but went straight to the heart - getting people to think about themselves, their faith, and their relationship to him and his kingdom.

The idea of family has many implications for us as we go about caring for and relating to others.  The Christian community can positively affect both the care-give and the one receiving care.

Ultimately the right to care flows from our responsibility as family members.  It is God who created the Christian family.  He desires you and me to reach into the lives of our fellow family members with His love.

 Care from a fellow Christian is like care from a member of your family.  Because of this closeness, trust is expected.  A degree of rapport is already present through common faith in Jesus Christ.

At times it might be beneficial for you, the caregiver, to verbalize that you and the one receiving care are members of the same family, the body of Christ.  Both of you will experience some closeness or family togetherness through your Christian family membership, but the caregiver still should enter the relationship with a healthy emotional distance.  In this sense, Christians frequently are able to combine the best of both worlds, drawing on the advantages of mutual membership in the Christian family, and a Christian attitude of servant-hood.

We hunger and thirst, and we are fed.  Ideally, we hunger to be helpful, and thirst to be of service, and we care for one another.  We should not be happy with just receiving.  We should not be filled with a false pride that hasn't learned how to say thank you, but we should have an honest pride that knows we are never so fluid, so alive, as when we are as transparent as clear water, our egos invisible with God's care flowing through us without a thought of ourselves.

When we pray we want to forget ourselves and the resentments and jealousies that draw attention to ourselves.  We want to be of service.

Jesus was the servant and his service was that of easing the pain of the afflicted in his day, unclogging the spirit and dislodging the obstacles that stood in the way of salvation.  He delivered people from the burden of themselves to free them to deliver others.

Christ created a community in our midst; he wants us to appreciate what this means.  We act on our sense of community when we build deep, loving relationships with other Christians.  In a family with a loving Father, a giving Brother and a helpful mate (Spirit), can we do otherwise?

How will I change my relationship to my families?

Another example is the sharing of knowledge of our God verbally with each other.  This can be done by listening to our brothers and sisters, who have made a special effort to learn about our heavenly Father and other family members.  They have studied, in order to share with us.  But an equally important aspect of this sharing is listening to other brother and sisters and how our Father is acting and relating to them in their life.  This is one of the most important aspects of the earthly manifestations of his heavenly family, the church.

The church allows us to share with other members of his family our, doubts, fears, needs, feelings, etc.  Just as in a earthly family, their are areas that we share with our parents, and other areas that we share with our brothers, sisters  and friends, at meals, one on one exchanges, and group discussions.

One means of sharing love is doing things for each other.  God is constantly doing things for us (i.e. life, other humans, food, etc.).  We do things for other family members.  This is the way we can return what God is doing for us.  Just as a earthly father receives great pleasure from family members helping each other, God receives pleasure.

Just as earthly family members are not expected to dedicate their life to doing things for others, but are expected to help each other when the need is present, they are available, and are capable of helping.  An example would be when a older child in a family is home from school, is physically capable; baby-sits for a younger child when needed.  We must help those who God has made their need know to us, and provides us the means to help.

D.  The Exchange model

God has provided us with a model of how our relationship with Him and His heaven based Family should function.  That is the Earthly Family, both the one that we grew up in as a earthly child and the one that we develop to raise other earthly children.

Both of these gives us the opportunity to learn, experience, experiment and as a result determine the proper relationship between us and our God.  And in exchange what we learn about our relation to God we can put into practice within our earth based families.

This interchange between the three families gives us a valuable spiritual growth experience.  There are other families that this Exchange works also.  There is the Church Family, and the Human Family.

But all of  these exchanges should be looked at in pair situations.  If it is wrong on one side of the exchange it must be wrong on the other side.  The other side of the coin also holds true.

Just as in earthly schools we perform exercises, experiments, and other learning experiences, we do the same on the path of our spiritual growth.