I.
I sleep until 10, drugged with dreams,
then cut watermelon, last of the season, and make tea.
We open drapes, prowl the house for sun.
The lake’s as still as the dead mage
in the last book of Earthsea, rooted, like him,
in a bottom we only imagine.
A bird flies by the window, clock hums,
computer hums. My bruised toe calls itself
to my attention, but otherwise I’m full and calm.
There is a life that breathes,
contemplating grapes grown heavy
with sugar, waiting to be gathered,
the muscadines, scuppernongs,
concords of the North Carolina fall.
II.
The lake’s engulfed by fog,
dim morning light creeps through the door.
We fill to empty –
emptiness of spent, riding past dark,
emptiness of silence, here in the treetops.
Empty’s lean, you can make a quick getaway,
change course at will.
But empty’s also out of gas, depleted.
Let us be empty as the rhododendron,
its one bud brave in October,
let us be open to possibility,
to what will later seem
destiny but now, not known, is freedom.
Let us empty as a spring pours over rocks,
drops of regeneration
welling from the source. In fog a light gleams,
in silence a word sounds.
III.
My feet are cold all night, hip aches,
I twist beneath the sheet, blanket, spread, quilt.
So generations slept
or tried to sleep. At dawn I wander the quiet house
in socks, drink tea in a white mug. What secrets lie
behind the wood planks of the walls,
under the appliquéd bedspread, inside the empty
kitchen cabinet? The lake is absolutely still,
leaves quiver but I do not know their tongue.
I snap a photo up the driveway, light glowing
on the rail, that way lies the world. Here,
time’s stopped, I count the days
not knowing their true names.
IV.
Running at dusk, my feet grow warm,
light glows through leaves. The way at first is up,
then down, I circle circles, glimpse water just below.
A steady climb, nuts under feet. Above,
a dozen buzzards swoon,
so close I pause, run in place, while they soar placidly.
I can count the fingers on their wings –
they dance just beyond my fingers,
as will Cassiopeia after dark –
as do the spirits now with us in this place –
Grandpere, Granddad, Aunt Non, Uncle Dick.
Above the sailplane field near Benton,
men hang among clouds, silver wings still circling.
My feet turn.
Cooling down, I gather pine cones,
one red leaf.
V.
The lake turns blue, green reflections deepen,
tinged with red. Motorboats are still, sailboat sits,
I sit, one leaf sifts by my window.
Somewhere someone is moving
but not here.
The tangles in my mind smooth out,
lift their heads to the sun.
VI.
I’ve found a big teapot in the pantry,
figured out just how to smack the microwave
to start it. I’ve gotten used to elevenses,
to buzzards overhead,
shadows on the lake,
one lonesome dog who lopes beside me
on my runs. In silence
I’ve watched geese curve along the shore,
red spider swing from a branch. I’ve used up
what we brought, in emptiness heard voices well up
from some deeper place. Tomorrow we’ll
pack our clothes, load the car
with bags of books and grapes, clean the house,
snap one last photo of the lake,
give back our visitors’ pass –
head home.