Writer's Block
CAST OF CHARACTERS
- Christine Gregg: Coming home from the Foreign Service for her 25th high-school reunion. (The reunion year is flexible; depending on casting, it could be 20th or 30th.)
- Mary Gregg: CHRISTINE’s mother, a real firecracker.
- Edith Littleton: MARY’s sister and sidekick. She is an excellent seamstress. CHRISTINE always had the prettiest dresses in school.
- James Chapman: Formerly the paper boy, now a Marine colonel.
- Charles Maxwell: JAMES’ old buddy from high school.
- Alice Maxwell: CHARLES’ (third) wife.
TIME
The present day.
SCENES FEATURED IN EXCERPT:
Scene 1: The modest suburban home of MARY GREGG. A Saturday afternoon in early summer.
Scene 2: The same; that evening.
Scene 1
SETTING: The modest home of MARY GREGG. There is a sofa, a coffee table, an end table, etc. We see the front window and the front door. A partial view of the bedroom can also be seen.
AT RISE: It is late afternoon on a Saturday in early summer. MARY GREGG stands at the front living room window looking out. She is nervous and agitated. Sitting on the sofa is EDITH LITTLETON, MARY’s SISTER. Both women are in their sixties. Draped across EDITH’s lap and taking up half the sofa is a frothy evening gown. EDITH is mending the hem of the dress with needle and thread.
MARY: Edith, how can you just sit there so calmly?
EDITH: Will it help if I run around in circles like you?
MARY: It would keep me company.
EDITH: Now, now, Mary, I’m sure -
MARY: A car is turning the corner.
EDITH: Only the seventeenth car in the past half hour.
MARY: So you’re keeping count, too.
EDITH: Just in case you decide to give a pop quiz.
MARY: It’s slowing down.
EDITH: Maybe it’s a spy, casing the place.
MARY: It’s a taxi.
EDITH: A very clever disguise for a spy.
MARY: It’s stopping.
EDITH: Better get away from the window. Maybe it’s a hit man.
MARY: It’s her.
EDITH: Are you sure? It may be a decoy.
MARY: Here she comes!
(MARY runs to the front door and flings it open)
MARY: Christine!
(CHRISTINE GREGG, MARY’s daughter, enters the front door carrying a suitcase. SHE is in her early forties, slender and very attractive, and is wearing an elegant suit. SHE drops the suitcase inside the door and hugs MARY)
CHRISTINE: Hi, Mom.
MARY: Is that all? 'Hi, Mom'?
CHRISTINE: (breaking into song) 'M is for the many things she gave me'
MARY: Don’t give me sass when we’ve been so worried about you.
CHRISTINE: What were you worried about?
MARY: When we heard about the terrorist attack on the Embassy -
CHRISTINE: Hah! No terrorists can keep me from my high school reunion. I haven’t missed one yet.
MARY: There’s always a first time.
CHRISTINE: And this is a very special one - twenty-five years.
MARY: Do you think terrorists care about that?
CHRISTINE: I just dodged around the grenades.
MARY: But we were expecting you yesterday.
CHRISTINE: What made you think I would be here yesterday?
MARY: Well, when I called the State Department -
CHRISTINE: Oh, Mother, you are too much.
MARY: I have a perfect right to find out where you are and if you’re all right.
CHRISTINE: I understand now why the pilot said, “You go right home now, young lady,” as I was disembarking.
MARY: Is he single?
CHRISTINE: Is that all you ever think about?
MARY: Can I help it if I want grandchildren?
(CHRISTINE) catches sight of EDITH, runs to the sofa, and flings herself into EDITH’s arms)
CHRISTINE: Aunt Edie!
EDITH : Hello, Christine, dear. Welcome home. I’ve missed you.
CHRISTINE: I’m so glad to see you. It seems like forever.
EDITH: My goodness, honey, be careful! You almost got stuck with this needle. Whoops, it came unthreaded, too.
(EDITH sticks the needle in the pin cushion on the coffee table)
CHRISTINE: Always sewing. Are you whipping up some gorgeous new creation for Mother?
EDITH: No, dear.
CHRISTINE: Aunt Sarah?
EDITH : No.
CHRISTINA: Grandma?
EDITH: Wrong.
CHRISTINE: (looking more closely at the dress) This dress looks familiar.
EDITH: Does it?
CHRISTINE: Why, this looks like -
EDITH : Like what?
CHRISTINE: My prom dress.
EDITH: Really?
CHRISTINE: Yes!
EDITH : For goodness sakes.
CHRISTINE: It is! It’s my prom dress.
EDITH: Are you sure?
CHRISTINE: Yes, I’m sure.
EDITH: Well, what do you know.
CHRISTINE: (to MARY) Where was it?
MARY: Down in the basement in a box with some of your other dresses.
CHRISTINE: You mean you kept all those things?
MARY: Of course. And after you went into the Foreign Service, those dresses saw a lot of use. Most of the girls on the block wore one or another of them to their dances.
CHRISTINE: You let other girls wear my dresses?
MARY: This one, though, I never let anybody else wear. It was so special.
CHRISTINE: (to Edith) But what are you doing with it?
EDITH: You must have caught your heel in it doing the twist, or the salsa, or whatever it was.
CHRISTINE: I remember that. It was the last dance of the prom.
EDITH: You must have really been carrying on.
CHRISTINE: We didn’t want to stop dancing.
EDITH: I was just whipping up the hem.
CHRISTINE: What for?
EDITH: We didn’t know what you were planning to wear to the reunion dinner-dance at the country club tonight, but -
CHRISTINE: Oh!
EDITH: We thought -
CHRISTINE: Oh, yes, yes!
(CHRISTINE snatches up the dress and holds it up to herself)
EDITH: Maybe -
CHRISTINE: How wonderful!
EDITH: If you didn’t have something else in mind -
CHRISTINE: It will be perfect.
EDITH: The most beautiful dress I ever made, if I do say so myself.
CHRISTINE: Will it fit?
EDITH: Of course it will fit. You haven’t gained an ounce since you were a teenager.
CHRISTINE: (dancing around the living room with the dress) This is wonderful. How did you think of it?
MARY: Just my usual creative thinking.
CHRISTINE: I’ll have to wear my hair the same way, too.
EDITH: And the dance is going to be at the exact same place.
CHRISTINE: Everything will be exactly the same.
MARY: You won’t be going with the same fellow.
CHRISTINE: Well, no, but he was a cad anyway.
MARY: I’m glad you finally realized that.
CHRISTINE: For heaven’s sake, Mother, that was years and years ago.
MARY: I know, dear. People do change.
CHRISTINE: No, they don’t. They just get more so the way they always were.
MARY: My, my, how cynical.
CHRISTINE: I guess I’d better start getting ready.
EDITH: Let me have the dress back so I can finish it up.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I’m sorry I grabbed it away from you.
(Christine gives the dress back to Edith)
EDITH: It’ll just take a few more minutes, and then I’ll press it.
CHRISTINE: I don’t think I have time to go get my hair done. I’ll have to try to do it myself.
EDITH: I’ll help you, dear.
CHRISTINE: Oh, thanks, Aunt Edit, you’re an angel.
EDITH: We want you to have a good time tonight.
(CHRISTINE picks up HER suitcase and heads for the bedroom)
MARY: James Chapman called this morning.
CHRISTINE: Who?
MARY: James Chapman.
(CHRISTINE stops and turns around. During the ensuing dialog she puts the suitcase down)
CHRISTINE: James Chapman? Who’s that?
MARY: Surely you remember James.
CHRISTINE: James Chapman ? James Chapman, Oh, you mean Jimmy Chapman? Jimmy, the paper boy?
MARY: Well, he hasn’t been the paper boy for quite some time.
CHRISTINE: Oh, I suppose not, but I always think of him as the paper boy. What about him?
MARY: He called this morning.
CHRISTINE: What did he want?
MARY: He wanted to know if you were going to be in town for the reunion.
CHRISTINE: Why would he call out of the blue like that? I haven’t seen him since graduation. The day after that, he joined the Marines.
MARY: That’s because you broke his heart.
CHRISTINE: What do you mean, I broke his heart.
MARY: He was in love with you. He worshipped you. Didn’t you know that?
CHRISTINE: No, I didn’t. How could I know?
MARY: If you didn’t have your head full of silly dreams of adventures in foreign countries -
CHRISTINE: And how do you know?
MARY: Never mind how I know. I just know.
CHRISTINE: You are omniscient, Mother. The Oracle of Delphi should have had your talent.
MARY: Don’t get smart with me.
CHRISTINE: But why did he call?
MARY: He was hoping he could take you to the dance tonight.’
CHRISTINE: And what did you say?
(EDITH retrieves the needle, finds the end of the thread, re-threads the needle, and goes to work on the hem again)
MARY: Since some of your other old friends have become, ah,' unavailable' and as far as I was aware, you didn’t have -
CHRISTINE: So you accepted for me.
MARY: In a manner of speaking.
CHRISTINE: Why do you do that to me?
MARY: Do what?
CHRISTINE: Why do you always try to hitch me up with somebody so unsuitable?
MARY: What’s so terrible about James Chapman?
CHRISTINE: I don’t want to be stuck with some skinny boy - who isn’t - that I don’t - I’d rather go by myself, so I can mingle and talk to everybody and catch up on the news.
MARY: But James was a classmate. Just because he wasn’t a football hero - and may I call to you attention again where your football hero is now?
CHRISTINE: Are you every going to let me forget that my first big, mad love is now spending twenty years in jail for embezzlement?
MARY: No, never.
CHRISTINE: Mother -
MARY: I’m sure James will want to talk to everybody, too. He was well liked. You’re not going to be stuck in a corner with some geek.
CHRTISTINE: Geek? Where did you pick up that word, Mother. I don’t even use that word.
MARY: Of course not. You use some French or Italian word, which makes it sound more elegant.
CHRISTINE: Do I have to?
MARY: Will it ruin your life to be escorted to a dance by James Chapman? He was a very nice boy.
CHRISTINE: But he was so - so -
MARY: You only associate with ambassadors and Ministers of State?
CHRISTINE: What time is he picking me up?
MARY: Eight o’clock.
CHRISTINE: But the paper boy? Good grief.
(BLACKOUT)
End Of Scene One
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Scene 2
SETTING: The same; that evening.
AT RISE: MARY and EDITH are in the bedroom. EDITH is fluffing out the skirt of the evening gown. MARY is at the dresser sorting through a jewelry box. A pair of high-heel pumps, with tissue in the toes, is on the floor next to the bed.
MARY: Didn’t she wear my garnet necklace to the prom?
EDITH: No, the pearls.
MARY: Are you sure?
EDITH: Absolutely.
MARY: You’re right.
EDITH: Of course.
(MARY searches and comes up with the pearl necklace)
MARY: Here it is.
EDITH: The earrings, too.
(MARY looks in another compartment of the jewelry box and finds the earrings)
MARY: Right again.
EDITH: I can remember what she wore to every single dance.
MARY: I can remember her date for every single dance.
EDITH: Always sizing them up. And none of them ever measured up.
MARY: The one I wanted her to go out with -
EDITH: Don’t push it, Mary. That would just put her off.
MARY: Oh, I know.
EDITH: She has to discover for herself.
MARY: But -
EDITH : Don’t even think about it. Just think about getting her ready.
MARY: What about my velvet stole?
EDITH: It’s so warm. I really don’t think she needs a wrap.
MARY: But the weatherman was saying that a cool front is coming in later.
EDITH: I think she’ll be warm enough.
(CHRISTINE enters wearing a bathrobe)
CHRISTINE: I don’t know why we’re going to so much trouble for the paper boy.
MARY: If I recall, you read the paper every day.
CHRISTINE: I used the telephone every day, too, but I don’t feel obligated to go out with the telephone installer.
MARY: Can’t you be a little considerate?
CHRISTINE: I don’t want to be a laughing stock.
MARY: Nobody’s going to laugh at you.
CHRISTINE: They’ll think I’m desperate.
MARY: I expect you to be polite to him, young lady.
EDITH: Just pretend that he’s the Minister of State of Argentina.
CHRISTINE: Sure.
(CHRISTINE slips out of her robe; she is wearing a camisole and petticoat underneath. EDITH and MARY put the dress over her head)
MARY: Where do you get the idea that you’re so superior?
CHRISTINE: I don’t think I’m superior.
MARY: Yes, you do, you snob.
CHRISTINE: Oh, Mother -
MARY: Don’t 'Oh, Mother' me in that tone of voice.
CHRISTINE: What a minute. Something’s caught on my hair.
EDITH : Just a second. Whoops, it’s the zipper pull. Hold still.
MARY: Be careful.
(EDITH disentangles CHRISTINE’s hair)
EDITH: Okay, now. Here we go.
(EDITH AND MARY get the dress properly arranged)
MARY: (zipping up the dress) Be still, please.
CHRISTINE: And the fairy godmother turns Cinderella into a princess.
MARY: See it fits perfectly.
EDITH: How do you stay so slender?
CHRISTINE: Trying to keep up with my mother.
MARY: Don’t be a smarty pants, Miss Chris.
EDITH: And here are the glass slippers.
(EDITH picks up the shoes and hands them to CHRISTINE)
CHRISTINE: Are these the same shoes, too?
MARY: I kept them wrapped up with tissue stuffed inside.
(CHRISTINE carefully removes the tissue and puts on the shoes)
CHRISTINE: I’m still waiting for my Prince Charming.
MARY: Do you think you’re going to find him in Timbuktu?
EDITH: (fluffing out CHRISTINE’s hair) I can hardly believe it’s been twenty-five years.
CHRISTINE: I know, it seems like just yesterday that I had this dress on.
EDITH: So much has happened. You’ve had such an exciting life, Christine. So many different overseas posts.
MARY: Oh, so exciting, wondering every day if some new fanatical group is going to blow up the embassy or kidnap everybody.
CHRISTINE: Daddy would be proud of me.
MARY: Oh, sweetie, of course I’m proud of you.
CHRISTINE: He always encouraged me.
MARY: Since your daddy died I’ve been proud enough of you for both of us. You have had a wonderful career. But he’s not here now to hold my hand when we read about the uprisings and bombings and everything.
CHRISTINE: You’re right, Mother.
MARY: What? What did you say? Did I actually hear you say, 'You’re right, Mother'?
EDITH: Do you want to get a tape recorder and have her repeat it?
CHRISTINE: What I mean is, it isn’t as romantic and fabulous as it used to be, with all the senseless terrorism these days.
MARY: Dare I hope that maybe you’ve had enough?
CHRISTINE: What would I do if I left the Foreign Service?
MARY: For heaven’s sake, Christine, there are any number of things you could do.
CHRISTINE: Like what?
MARY: You could teach at a university, for example.
CHRISTINE: How dull.
MARY: But not life-threatening.
CHRISTINE: I could die of boredom.
MARY: I have an even better idea. Why don’t you get mar -
CHRISTINE: No, don’t say it! Please don’t say the M word again.
MARY: Why? Is it now considered obscene?
CHRISTINE: It’s your fault.
MARY: What’s my fault? My fault that you won’t marry and settle down?
CHRISTINE: Yes.
MARY: How did it get to be my fault? What did I do wrong?
CHRISTINE: You didn’t do anything wrong. You raised me to be independent.
EDITH: And you succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.
MARY: Good Lord, can’t you be independent and married, too?
CHRISTINE: No.
MARY: I thought men liked independent women these days.
CHRISTINE: They only say that, to make you think they’re sensitive.
MARY: There are some men who -
CHRISTINE: Name one.
MARY: You wouldn’t be interested.
EDITH: You are beautiful, Christine, dear. Even more beautiful now than the evening of your prom.
CHRISTINE: Oh, Aunt Edith. How can I ever thank you enough for all the lovely dresses! I always had the prettiest dress at every dance. I was the envy of all the girls.
EDITH: It is your mother you must thank. She paid for them.
MARY: With the sweat of my brow.
CHRISTINE: What do you mean?
EDITH: You see, I hated to iron. So your mother would come over and do my ironing while I sewed.
CHRISTINE: I never knew that.
EDITH: I loved sewing for you, honey. I never had girls to make pretty dresses for - only boys.
MARY: And she had them change their clothes five times a day, so I would have plenty to do.
EDITH: That’s not true.
MARY: I even had to iron her sheets.
EDITH: Don’t exaggerate.
MARY: But it was worth it.
CHRISTINE: You know, you two should have opened a designer boutique.
MARY: Then you wouldn’t have been able to afford the dresses.
CHRISTINE: Wouldn’t you have given me a discount or anything?
MARY: If we gave all our customers special treatment, we wouldn’t make any money.
EDITH: Don’t be silly.
MARY: We would go through Bloomingdale’s designer shop and get ideas. And then we would gloat when we made something ten times prettier for a tenth of the price.
EDITH : Your mother would plow through the fabric shops to find nice material on sale.
(CHRISTINE turns around in front of the mirror)
CHRISTINE: Am I ready?
MARY: Don’t forget the pearls.
(MARY fastens the necklace around CHRISTINE’s neck)
CHRISTINE: You are so sweet to let me wear your jewelry.
MARY: And here are the earrings.
(MARY hands the earrings to CHRISTINE, who puts them on)
CHRISTINE: I’ll take good care of them, as always.
MARY: These pearls are yours now, Christine.
CHRISTINE: Oh, Mother! You know I have coveted these pearls forever.
MARY: Your daddy gave these to me as an engagement present.
CHRISTINE: But how can you bear to part with them?
MARY: I want you to have them now.
CHRISTINE: Oh, thank you, Mother, thank you, thank you. I will treasure them so much.
MARY: I have cast a spell on them so that they will bring you a husband.
CHRISTINE: Oh.
EDITH: So you see, there’s no escape from her clutches.
(THE DOORBELL RINGS)
MARY: (heading for the living room) I’ll get it.
EDITH: (following MARY out of the bedroom into the living room) It’s probably the paper boy coming to collect.
CHRISTINE: (running after EDITH) Aunt Edie, if you say one word -
EDITH: Me?
CHRISTINE: Yes, you.
EDITH: How could you think such a thing of me?
CHRISTINE: I know you.
(MARY goes to the front door and opens it. Standing at the threshold is JAMES CHAPMAN. He is in his early forties. HE is a tall, handsome Marine colonel in full dress uniform with a chest full of ribbons and medals. He is carrying a florist’s box tied with a bow. CHRISTINE’s mouth falls open)
JAMES: Hi, Mary. Your Marine is home from the wars.
MARY: (throwing herself into JAMES’ arms and receiving a bear hug) It’s been two years! You’re almost as bad as Christine.
JAMES: Well, you know how it is. From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli.
(Over MARY’s shoulder, JAMES throws a dazzling smile at CHRISTINE. SHE is dumfounded)
EDITH: My turn! My turn!
(EDITH gets a hug, too)
JAMES: How are you doing, Edith?
EDITH: We’ve missed you so much.
JAMES: I missed you, too.
EDITH: It looks like you got a promotion, too.
MARY: Of course. I knew he would.
EDITH: She no doubt had a word with the Commandant.
JAMES: And for my favorite ladies, a little something from the exotic bazaar in Cairo.
(JAMES reaches into his pocket and brings out two small ivory carvings [or some other trinkets], and presents one each to MARY and EDITH)
MARY: aren’t you just the sweetest thing.
EDITH: You darling boy.
JAMES: These magical ivory carvings will bring you good luck and grant you three wishes.
MARY: Only three?
EDITH: Don’t be greedy, Mary.
MARY: Well, maybe three wishes will cover it.
CHRISTINE: Excuse me, but would someone introduce me to this tall, handsome stranger?
MARY: No. You don’t deserve him.
CHRISTINE: Mother.
MARY: Edith and I have decided to keep him for ourselves.
CHRISTINE: Mother!
MARY: (putting her hands on her hips and vamping at JAMES) How would you like to have not one, but two beautiful women on your arm this evening?
(MARY AND EDITH each take one of JAMES’ arms and act like they are going to take HIM out the door)
JAMES: I’m at your disposal, ladies.
CHRISTINE: MOTHER!!!
MARY: Well, all right, but only if you promise to be nice to him.
CHRISTINE: Who do you always insist on embarrassing me?
MARY: It’s the only time I have any fun.
(MARY and EDITH move aside, and CHRISTINE and JAMES stand facing one another. He takes off his cap)
JAMES: Will you be my date for the dance, Christine?
CHRISTINE: That has already been decided.
JAMES: Your mother is very persuasive.
CHRISTINE: I’d love to be your date.
(JAMES holds up the florist’s box and hands it to CHRISTINE)
JAMES: And a little something.
CHRISTINE takes the box, opens it, and takes out a corsage)
CHRISTINE: Orchids!
JAMES: I hope it goes with your dress.
CHRISTINE: It’s beautiful.
JAMES: Shall I pin it on?
CHRISTINE: Yes, please.
MARY: Wait a minute. Let me get a picture.
EDITH: Yes, by all means. We have to save this for the album.
MARY: And if I don’t get my three wishes, I’ll at least have something to look at.
(MARY opens a drawer in the end table and takes out a camera. She snaps a picture as JAMES pins the corsage on the dress)
JAMES: How about right here?
CHRISTINE: Yes, that’s fine.
JAMES: The color seems to be right.
CHRISTINE: It’s perfect. It’s as if you knew I would be wearing this very dress.
JAMES: I had a vision.
MARY: (indicating the window) Another one over there.
JAMES: Sure.
EDITH : (drawing the draperies to make a backdrop) Here, in front of the curtain of the Opera House in Buenos Aires.
MARY: No, No, it’s the Kennedy Center in Washington.
EDITH: Wherever.
(JAMES and CHRISTINE pose as instructed. MARY tries to take a picture, but the shutter doesn’t work)
MARY: What’s wrong here?
JAMES: Did you advance the film?
MARY: Ooops!
EDITH: High tech stumps her.
MARY: Just a second.
CHRISTINE: I hope we make it to the dance before it’s over.
EDITH: We don’t very often get to take pictures of you, honey, so forgive us if we go overboard.
(MARY advanced the film, tries again, and gets the picture)
MARY: Got it.
CHRISTINE: May we go now?
MARY: Now sit on the sofa.
CHRISTINE: How original.
(CHRISTINE and JAMES sit on the sofa. MARY focuses the camera and takes a picture)
MARY: That’s really nice. Let me get another one here.
CRISTINE: Are you going to use up a whole roll of film?
MARY: Don’t worry about it. I have plenty more.
CHRISTINE: Good grief.
(MARY takes another picture)
MARY: Oh, dear, I think I cut off your heads. Let me do one more.
EDITH: Closer.
CHRISTINE: Aunt Edie.
JAMES: (moving closer to CHRISTINE) If you say so.
MARY: One more for good measure.
EDITH: Closer.
JAMES: You bet.
CHRISTINE: Aunt Edie!
MARY: (moving around to get a better angle) Let me get a better angle here.
EDITH: Put your arm around her.
(JAMES puts his arm around CHRISTINE)
CHRISTINE: AUNT EDIE!!!
EDITH: He doesn’t mind.
JAMES: Not a bit. I’ve been waiting for this chance for twenty-five years.
(BLACKOUT)
End of Scene 2
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