THE DAILY TRAVESTY | Pop Quiz for Million Moms
The Daily Travesty
 
20 June 2000            email
Vol. 1, Issue 104       on the web
 

 
MILLION MOMS POP QUIZ
  
   A quick quiz for Million Mom marchers to consider. OK now, no cheating!
  
    1. Ted Kennedy, Charles Schumer and Barbara Boxer strongly denounce
       private gun ownership. Their bodyguards, however, carry:
         A. Berettas
         B. Glocks
         C. Garbage can lids
         D. Slingshots

    2. You and your baby daughter are awakened in the middle of the night
       by your estranged, abusive ex-husband. Although you have a
       restraining order against him, he is drunk and beats down your
       front door with a crowbar screaming, "If I can't have you, nobody
       can!" You should:
         A. Call Barbara Boxer.
         B. Call 911
         C. Threaten legal action.
         D. Grab a ping-pong paddle.
         E. Reason with him (maybe he was an abused child).

    3. Since 1987, 34 states have enacted concealed carry laws. Violent
       crime decreased significantly in these states and the anticipated
       "Dodge City" mayhem never materialized. Even critics were
       surprised. Concealed carry succeeded because:
         A. Sunspot activity decreased after 1987.
         B. Trigger locks rendered guns inoperative and therefore safe.
         C. Sarah Brady scared the crooks away.
         D. A healing wave of pacifism swept over the hearts of criminals
            in these 34 states.
         E. All of the above.

    4. Schools, churches, subways, and restaurants have often been
       assaulted, but rarely military bases, police stations, or shooting
       clubs because:
         A. The targets aren't sitting or kneeling.
         B. VA benefits are lost if you shoot a soldier.
         C. You can't enter an army base without bumper stickers.
         D. Schools don't threaten felons with detention hall.
         E. All of the above.

    5. Logic, reason, and common sense:
         A. Are irrelevant if they contradict your feelings.
         B. Should not apply to firearms.
         C. Defy opinion polls.
         D. Pale beside hysteria, fear, and political ambition.
         E. All of the above.
      
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