THE DAILY TRAVESTY for January 17,
2000
Volume 1, Issue 11
brought to you by B.C.
with Tucker in the background doing some
magic
caritas patiens est benigna est caritas non
aemulatur non agit perperam non inflatur non est ambitiosa non quaerit quae sua
sunt non inritatur non cogitat malum non gaudet super iniquitatem congaudet
autem veritati omnia suffert omnia credit omnia sperat omnia sustinet caritas
numquam excidit
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CHANT TO CURE A MINOR HEADACHE
Antlion listened to people he'd known
When his ship fell apart on a wild
seastorm
He blew bottle whistles and fluted them
on
Beetlegirl drifted on spindle legs
home
She lived in the hearth in the home of the
sun
Filled up with goldengrass, holly, and
bones
Ladybird breathed in the timothy air
What ached in her stomach and tousled her
hair
And burned in the crumbles of earth was not
there
Tucker wrote this September 19, 1997, some time
after his first migraine. Be it known that this is not effective against
migraines, which are from the Devil.
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PEOPLE ARE DUMB
I find this humorous. It is a forward I
received from an anonymous TRAVESTY reader, and I estimate that it went through
at least a hundred and fifty people before getting to me. It speaks for
itself, but keep in mind that I have edited nothing and copied it
word-for-word, with the exception of deleting the excess spaces which developed
from the forward.
"If you have seen the movie
Austin Powers The spy who shagged me did you wait until the credits to leave
the thearte? Well if you did than you saw when the characters of Austin Powers
were on the Jerry Springer Show. Well did you know that if you wait even longer
aftre that that there is a part backstage after the show. This is what you have
to do to see this halarious clip just send this to 10 people. 10 people thats
all and when the screen pops up that says "You're Mail Has Been Sent", Click ok
and the hold down the alt button on your kwyboard and press the letter S twice.
The reason you press S is for the words "Shagged Spy". When you do that a little
window will pop up and it will start to play. Happy
Laughing!"
Dammit!! It didn't work! Stupid fucking
computer!!
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
BC, i just wanted to advise you and all your readers to go
see "magnolia" immediately. preferably in the company of someone you care
about but can't stop hurting.
fred
Editor: Magnolia is the new Paul
Anderson film with Tom Cruise, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore,
etc.
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As always, if you would like to
contribute anything to this publication, your work or not-your-work, in the form
of a story, poem, quotation, essay, letter, opinion, satire, monologue,
statement, speech, holy transmission, prayer, curse, or any other form under the
sun, whether or not it has a name, please feel free to do so. We only
ask that it be relatively SHORT. We also reserve the right to edit your
submission, but we promise to let you and
everyone else know if we do (and we don't intend
to).