THE DAILY TRAVESTY for January 25, 2000
Volume 1, Issue 17
"The logic of worldly success rests
on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and
opinions and applause of other men! A weird life it is, indeed, to be
living always in somebody else's imagination, as if that were the only place in
which one could at last become real!"
--Thomas Merton
ARE YOU SOME SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID?
MORE FUN WITH W by Tucker
The Brown Daily Herald says that George W. Bush
refuses to meet with the Log Cabin Republicans, a group of gay
Republicans. Quote: "I am someone who is a uniter, not a divider. I
don't believe in group thought, pitting one group of people against
another."
Strange, but somehow--somehow--I think the
W. would meet with pro-life Republicans, Minnesota Republicans, women
Republicans, black Republicans (though you never know with him, I think it's do
it for his image). It's not "group thought" that's evil. The
Republicans are a group themselves, incidentally, who often pit themselves
against Democrats.
Face facts. W. doesn't want gay Republicans
to unite with straight Republicans. He wants them to blend in, be
invisible, and have their voice stifled. He talks about unity for
straights and gays, but when did he ever encourage straight people to vote for
gay people's interests? Fact is, the W. is threatened by the Log
Cabin Republicans because they're an organization of queer consciousness that
won't subordinate itself. CHICKEN.
A Word from Quayle*
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance
from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there
are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is
oxygen. If there is oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice
President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
*The DAILY TRAVESTY would like to honor Dan Quayle
by occasionally publishing a short, enlightening piece of his profundity
for your enjoyment. This is not hard to do, as Mr. Quayle has said a LOT
of wise things. We hope this reassures you as much as it does us about the
efficiency of this nation's political process. (We swear, because you will
not believe us, that all of these are real quotations.)
As always, if you
would like to contribute anything to this publication, your work or
not-your-work, in the form of a story, poem, quotation, essay, letter, opinion,
satire, monologue, statement, speech, holy transmission, prayer, curse, or any
other form under the sun, whether or not it has a name, please feel free to
do so. We only ask that it be relatively SHORT. We also reserve the
right to edit your submission, but we promise to let you and everyone else know if we do (and we don't intend
to).
REPRINT WHAT YOU
LIKE. "Words are thought, and thought is
free."