NEW SECTION!!
I had better explain what you are about to see before I
print it. The TRAVESTY has decided to publish a weekly horoscope section
every Friday, written by journalist/astrologer Eric Francis, trusted friend of
B.C. Now before you say "Oh no, don't tell me the TRAVESTY has bought into
that New Age crap and is going to make me read it too," let me say a
piece.
First of all, I know you enjoy reading horoscopes even if
you don't believe in astrology because almost everyone enjoys reading
horoscopes. They are about your favorite subject, after all...
YOU.
Second of all, B.C. is the biggest skeptic on the face of
the earth when it comes to New Age crap. B.C. hates New Age crap. It
nauseates him almost as much as fundamentalism nauseates him. (can anyone
see the common denominator?) And so, you can safely
conclude that there must be something legitimate here.
I began studying astrology last Spring, for
curiosity's sake and because at the time I was looking for some answers and
couldn't seem to find them anywhere else. I went into it prepared to
dismiss it as mostly rubbish, which is what I almost always do concerning "New
Age" practices and anything which in general seems too sure of
itself. If even a single piece of something
doesn't seem right to my highly geared discrimination, I
will scrap it. I enjoy scrapping things because pretense irritates
me.
Since then I have read over fourteen books on the subject,
worked with over 15 charts, and in general had my mind blown away. Let me
say this, for you fellow skeptics out there: it isn't what you think it
is. I'll bet you fifty bucks. It especially isn't the kind of
astrology you read in the Comics section of the newspaper. That's
mostly superficial crap designed to make money on people's stupidity, and with
the least possible effort. Real astrology involves much more than your sun
sign, i.e. the sign most of you think you are. I'm sure I can't
explain how or why to anyone's satisfaction, but I know, because
I've experienced it, that astrology works. It works so well it is
often chilling.
Sun-sign horoscopes for the masses are of course less than
optimal, but it is impractical to do it any other way. As vague as they
can seem, such horoscopes can also, to some degree, be enlightening.
That said, there's a way to capitalize even more on them-- by reading the
horoscopes for your sun, moon and rising sign. This will give you a more
comprehensive picture. The sun, moon and rising sign (or ascendant)
are essentially different aspects of you-- some of the more influential
ones--and so while just reading your sun may shed light, to be even more
accurate you should pay attention to all three. The moon in particular may
give you more insight into your emotional world than the sun
or ascendant ever could.
To neatly sum up what the three represent, it can be put
this way (though in practice it is not so clear-cut): you can see the sun
sign as who you are, the moon as your
soul, and the ascendant as the mask behind which
you hide and express yourself. It is best to think of signs not as rigid
definitions but as processes. In the words of Stephen
Forrest:
"It comes down to this:
astrological symbols are not nouns, they are verbs. I am not 'a
Capricorn.' I am Capricorning. Growth.
Change. Evolution. That is the heart of astrology. Leave
fatalism and rigidity to the fortune tellers."
If you don't know what your moon sign and ascendant are,
send me an email with your date, exact time and place of birth, and I'll tell
you. If you don't have your birth time, I won't be able to give you the
ascendant. As an alternative, you could go to the following website: www.astro.com/atlas/atlquest-eng.html
Pick the basic chart and you should be able to figure out what you want to
know.
There is much more that could be said on this
subject. I will spare you most of it, but for starters, this is not
predictive astrology. This is interpretive, evolutionary astrology, based
not on a belief in fate but a belief in synchronicity, or the principle that
nothing is mutually exclusive. It attempts to explain
influences-- but maintains that the individual can do whatever they
want with said influences. If you really want to be struck dumb and at the
same time experience twenty years worth of psychotherapy in a month (for
free, I might add), I suggest you study your natal chart and/or get someone else
to help you with it.
You might be able to cajole me into that. I do tarot
cards too. My work is free.
For other good horoscopes written by astrologers using the
same techniques praised by Eric and B.C., we suggest Rob Brezsney, www.realastrology.com (joyously
optimistic) and Jonathan Cainer, www.cainer.com (mercifully
compassionate). Eric, by the way, happens to be refreshingly
straightforward.
YOUR HOROSCOPE for the week of January 7,
2000
by Eric Francis
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
You may feel you're walking
the fine line between passion and fear. That is the place to be; little other
than intense emotional edge play is likely to satisfy your craving for life and
your curiosity for adventure at the edge of the abyss this week or those to
come. The fear you may experience is something living in your mind and feelings
rather than a response to an actual threat in your physical environment. Your
dreams, though they may be intense, will be conveyed in the language of symbols
rather than concrete premonitions. Partners and even "ex-partners" are likely to
play a prominent role in the impressive and long awaited developments of the
coming week; please reward them well.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
It may
be a new and strange challenge to indulge your own pleasure these days, because
you're likely to feel compelled into the servitude of others. This has its own
rewards, as everyone has discovered in his or her journey to fulfillment. Yet
it's okay to be there for yourself as much as you're there for whomever else you
may be with. In effect, there is no difference, because your exchanges have the
potential to be so complete that you can experience full resonance, even if the
object of your desire is far away. What is being exchanged is real. You have a lot to offer, and you have a lot coming to you. Just
remember to take your breaths very consciously, gently, and one at a
time.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
All you need to do is push gently and
the walls and structures that seem to surround you will fall away like they
never existed. Beyond these boundaries, which are really the shadows, conceptual
frameworks and limits of the past, and the people who influenced you over the
years, you are nicely set up to find something, or someone, very new. But as it
turns out, although the past is over, we have the power to keep it alive in our
minds and emotions, so the ultimate responsibility for finding the present rests
upon your own power of decision, your own recognition of what you now want, and
most important, your choice to be aware of who is in your environment now, and
to appreciate them fully.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
Beneath the formal
or official exterior of people or circumstances you are working to penetrate is
the softness, depth and vulnerability you crave from human contact. You'd do
well to ignore appearances, and let your mind rest in the inner reality that key
bits of evidence are likely to have revealed is truly there. The outer garb that
certain individuals are adept at projecting may be convincing, but if you sense
with your feelings, and stay aware of the expressions in people's eyes as they
speak, you will get a different story entirely. And it seems likely that, though
much of what is exchanged will be on the intuitive level, words will find their
perfect place and time.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
The next stage of what
you could call unexpected changes will be along the lines of cleanup of old data
and files from the more daunting transitions that have characterized your recent
life. You may feel that strange sense of pressure building, reminiscent of those
that came on just before the karmic tornadoes and thunderstorms struck, but
there is really no need to panic. The worst is over, and the best is yet to
come. It would, however, be wise, at this point, for you to take an inventory of
just what it is you no longer want, and put it near the fireplace, where you can
get rid of it in some kind of ritual offering. And don't forget to keep the
fires burning hot, whatever that means to you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sep.
22)
With emotions percolating from the belly of your life that you haven't
felt since the first blast of sex hormones spilled into your blood oh so long
ago, I propose that what you remember this week you'll feel very silly for
having forgotten. True, there were reasons; it wasn't possible to simultaneously
remain open and protected given those circumstances. But your defensive measures
have outgrown their use, you stand on much more level ground with the world
around you, and what you want out of life you simply cannot have in anything
resembling a closed-down state. Measures that protected you in the past can
now be dangerous -- and what seemed dangerous then is your savior
now.
LIBRA (Sep. 23-Oct. 22)
You'll have ideas this week and they will
be very important ideas. You'll cross personal territory and it will be the
uncharted, unimagined region of yourself that few people ever dare to get near.
Your mind is already racing at full tilt, your emotions may have taken on a
digital-quality in their accuracy and ease of movement, and you must surely feel
the influence of a new element in your inner world that is at once very familiar
and delightfully strange. Watch as this process comes into divine focus,
revealing information you will want to carry forward for years to come. Give
yourself space to take full advantage this.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.
22)
Events now set in motion have the potential to make up for many years of
self-defeating thought processes, sour emotions, bad luck and evolutionary
progress thinly disguised as loss and suffering. There may be some obvious,
immediate events signaling the start of this new era. Yet if you find yourself
squinting at the light, or tempted to go back out into the cold because the
warmth of love and passion are too much to bear, please think again. Sooner or
later you have to start getting accustomed to the fact of taking large steps
toward wholeness and fulfillment, and it might as well be
now.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21)
Choose your predator. You are a
target, an object of desire, perhaps even an object of art, and you can play
that to your full advantage. You are in demand, your scent is drawing the
attention of everything with a sniffer, your appearance is calling forth the
looks of everyone who can see color, and your eyes are like beacons cutting
through the fog of the world's chaos. If you can get past the sense of risk that
this kind of potency may entail, you will have a chance to learn how
powerful you can be when you've consciously allowed yourself to take a
submissive role, yet in possession of the full capability to respond or
react.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Now is the time to rebalance all
the scales of your life. Early winter, when you were born, is usually a time for
adjustments and turning corners, though the themes of fairness, equality,
integrity and guidance by the most honest values are qualities that will
resonate through this year more than most others. If you tune into your inner
world, and remember to keep coming back, I predict you'll finally figure out
that contrary to what you may have been led to believe, there is really no
conflict between intensity and sensitivity; between power and vulnerability;
between who you were, and who you have most surely become.
AQUARIUS (Jan.
19-Feb. 18)
Your sleep life may be more eventful than your waking life, and
your dreams a more accurate guide to the meaning of events and the intentions of
people than your conscious perceptions. Even so, it makes sense to
cross-reference the two, checking in with your intuition or gut-level instincts
at the same time you sort out the brilliant symbols that are coming in from your
astral life; the composite will give you an unusually detailed image. Observe
how you feel in the moments after daybreak, and the first hours of the morning.
You may notice you're working out stiffness and kinks that feel just delightful
to get rid of. If you do yoga, push it a little; if not, now's a great time to
start.
PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Put yourself where people can see you.
That's all it will really take. You may not, at this point, feel like making a
big splash, and it's clear that you don't really need to think along those lines
because what is so naturally occurring in these unusual days and weeks is giving
you a high enough profile as it is. It's also clear that people will just sense
your energy and be drawn to you, and be open to receiving an impression from
your ideas and motives; and furthermore, that you can use this power quite
ethically to make solid progress fulfilling your most ambitious personal and
creative goals. Have faith -- it's well-justified.
For the
Faithful
I want to congratulate the world for skating through the dreaded Y2K
["arrrrrrrgh... you said it!!" --B.C.] without so much as a nuclear power
plant exploding, a single country's telephone system vaporizing, and nary a
religious cult (that we've heard of, at least) marring history with a mass
suicide. It is clear to me that people made a choice to take fate, faith
and technology into their own hands, and pick ourselves up and carry us across
the bridge to wherever we are now going. Though I am reluctant to pour on
the glowing optimism, to me it's a very good sign that we have chosen peace
rather than war, ease rather than difficulty, and life rather than death.
Now all we need to do is make it last 100 or 1000 more years.
Copyright (c)2000 by Planet Waves Digital Media, all
rights reserved. Planet Waves™ is a trademark. Eric Francis™ is a
trademark. Xerox™ is a trademark. Escalator™ is a trademark.
Trademark™ is a trademark. There is no such thing as a Styrofoam™ coffee
cup. Have a great weekend and
May the Force be With You.
It spreads like Lice! Except without
all that itching and scratching!
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