THE DAILY TRAVESTY | What We Know About Eris
T H E
    D A I L Y
        T R A V E S T Y
 
27 March 2000
Vol. 1, Issue 57
 
 
        The Classical Greeks were not influenced
         by the Classical Greeks.
 

Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord Fnord!!
 
And now
 
MORE of an introduction into The Erisian Mysterees
 
WHICH IS MOST INTERESTING
 
as Divinely Revealed to
My High Reverence  MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and HIGH PRIEST of
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)
 
-><-
 
 
WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ERIS (not much)
 
The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her garment ripped and torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom.  Actually, most women look pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.
 
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly cvonfused.  Either She was the twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, Misery and Friendship.  And that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.
 
One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really created all of those terrible things.  She told him that She had always liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historical matters.  "They were," she added, "victims of indigestion, you know."
 
Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious.  But She is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy at times.
 
*THE PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to Eris.  If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the appendix which does almost as well.  Reference: DOGMA I, METAPHYSICS #3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland."
 

Take a deep breath.  That's right... in... out.... Ahhh.