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Well, how this came about is hard to explain. I believe I'd been watching DC the night before and I was thinking about how hilariously funny SM is, and I just thought, *katie voice* hey! What if the two shows somehow came together? No, seriously I just wanted the chance to make fun of some of the worst stuff on television, discounting of course the Thundercats (sorry, Bub) and things like Days of Our Lives (sorry Joey ;)
Oh, and as you may have noticed, I have a major vendetta against Joey. (Also Rini, but I find her so annoying that I didn't include her.) Sorry if you happen to like her, you must be severely misguided.
But here it is, I'm not finished yet but like everything else I write it has no real plot, so that's not a problem. Enjoy!
This story is meant as no infringement on the copyrights owned by whatever moron writes Dawson’s Creek, whatever idiots dubbed Sailor Moon, and whatever twisted Japanese people wrote it in the first place. Of course, I am totally trashing both shows so I can’t help but infringe on their dignities if not their rights. :)
I don’t know exactly when it takes place in Dawson’s Creek, probably near the end of the second season although Andie and Pacey aren’t together, and Joey and Pacey have some kind of history. Go figure. I do watch the Sailor Moon dub, at this point there are five scouts. (The new dubs suck! Those voices! BLECH!)
Scene, Capeside High Auditorium. The principal is introducing some new students…
PRINCIPAL: …And I hope that you’ll all treat our new exchange students with the respect they deserve.
DAWSON: (to himself) That’s funny, they don’t look Japanese.
The Auditorium starts to clear, and the Scouts walk up to Dawson and Pacey.
SERENA: Hi! I’m Serena!
DAWSON: (holding out his hand for her to shake) Dawson Leery. Hey, I like your hair.
SERENA: (smiling but not shaking his hand) Thanks! These are my friends Lita, Amy, Mina, and Rei. And this is my cat Luna.
PACEY: You know you’re really not supposed to have those in school. And why exactly are you all wearing matching outfits?
LITA: (to Pacey) Hi, I’m Lita.
PACEY: Pacey Whitter. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
LITA: (to the Scouts in a dreamy voice) He looks just like my old boyfriend.
SERENA: So, what’s hanging?
Dawson and Pacey exchange looks.
DAWSON: Well, what’s – ahem – hanging is, um, Pacey’s going to work, and then I’m going out with my girlfriend.
JOEY: (walking up to Dawson) God, Dawson, I hate you! I never want to be near you again! (stands next to Pacey, who puts his arm around her)
DAWSON: Or I guess not.
AMY: Is she always like that?
LUNA: I sense the Negaverse at hand.
PACEY: (doing a double take) Did that cat just talk, and does it have an English accent?
SERENA: Um, no!
PACEY: I see. So anyway, what are you guys into?
AMY: I like doing advanced calculus and writing essays.
LITA: I look for cute guys!
MINA: I don’t do anything, I’m just a fifth wheel.
REI: I work at my Grandpa’s temple and try to steal away the guys Serena likes!
SERENA: Hey! (to Pacey) I like, um, frisbee and stuff.
PACEY: Frisbee. Uhuh. Joey, I think I’d better go.
JOEY: Fine! You just go, Pacey! Go wherever you want, I really don’t care!
Pacey walks off, shaking his head. Dawson smiles at Joey.
DAWSON: Look, can we talk?
JOEY: No! I hate you!
DAWSON: Well, I don’t even know what I did wrong, since I’m a clueless moron and because you usually make up the things I did wrong in your own twisted mind!
Jack and Andie walk up.
JACK: Hey guys, what’s up?
REI: Finally someone who talks like a normal person!
ANDIE: Hi! You’re those new students from Japan, right? That’s so cool! (to Serena) I love your hair!
SERENA: Thanks!
LITA: (gazing at Jack) He looks like my old boyfriend…
JOEY: Trust me, you don’t want to go there.
MINA: Why not?
ANDIE: ‘Cause Jack’s sorta gay.
SERENA: Gay?
JACK: Yeah, I like guys.
SCOUTS: Really?
SERENA: Gee, whenever we have that in Japan it gets dubbed over.
ANDIE: What?
REI: (glancing at a clock on the wall) Oh, we were supposed to have that...um, meeting a half hour ago!
SERENA: (to Jack, Andie, Joey, and Dawson) Yeah, we gotta book it! Seeya! (they take off)
JACK AND ANDIE: (to each other, in disbelief) Gotta book it?
Scene, the Capeside gang – minus Joey - is hanging out at the Icehouse. Rei walks in with Darien.
REI: (hanging all over him) Isn’t this place great?
DARIEN: (trying to wriggle away with no success) Uh, yeah. Hey, are these the friends you told me about?
REI: Uh huh. Maybe we should go somewhere more romantic.
DAWSON: Hey, you could borrow my boat and go rowing on the creek.
PACEY: Is that the only romantic thing you can come up with?
DARIEN: (looking nauseated) You know, I think I’m going to go find Serena. (leaves)
ANDIE: (to Jen) Did you get a good look at his outfit?
JEN: Yeah, it was like a refugee from the 80’s going for a jog.
REI: (looking depressed) God, why does he like Serena more than me? I mean, her hair looks like meatballs! He said so himself!
PACEY: Hey, how about we discuss this over a cup of steaming java?
REI: (not understanding a word) Okay…
PACEY: (giving up and motioning to a table) Just go sit over there.
She obliges.
DAWSON: Man, are you sure you know what you’re doing? That girl has like, traveled here from not only another country but another generation.
ANDIE: It worked for Marty McFly. (off his puzzled look) Oh right, you wouldn’t have seen that, it wasn’t Spielberg.
PACEY: I know, bro, but did you see the legs on her?
JEN: They were unnaturally long.
PACEY: And those eyes!
ANDIE: They were glittering in a strange way.
Pacey chooses to ignore that and goes to sit with Rei, where you can see him making comforting gestures while inching closer to her.
ANDIE: He sure knows how to pick ‘em.
JACK: Well, he did date you, so…
ANDIE: (slapping his arm) It’s when he dates you that we’ll know he’s gone over the edge.
JACK: (considering this idea and rejecting it) Ugh. Wait a minute – hey!
JOEY: (walking in and hugging Dawson) It’s so great to see you!
LUNA: (following her unobtrusively) There is something very wrong with this girl.
DAWSON: Hey Joe.
The other scouts walk in with Artemis in tow.
ALL: Hi!
DAWSON: (over Joey’s shoulder) Hey. I must say, that is quite a…unique cat you have there.
ANDIE: Aw, he’s such a cutie! (kneels down to scratch Artemis’s ears)
ARTEMIS: (in a half cat-like, half guy-like way) Mrooow!
ANDIE: (to Mina) I like your hat.
MINA: (giggling vapidly) Oh, this old thing? It’s just my bow.
JACK: (to Dawson) It looks like something latched itself onto her head.
JOEY: (suddenly looking at Rei) Hey, what’s Pacey doing with that girl?
MINA: Oh, is he your boyfriend? (giggles again)
JOEY: No.
SERENA: No, she’s Dawson’s girl!
DAWSON: Well, I wouldn’t say she’s exactly my...girl, but...
JOEY: Get a life, Dawson.
Scene - the Scouts are having a meeting. Just picture some cutesy place that would only have the nerve to exist in Capeside.
LUNA: I don't like this place. I'm getting some strange vibes.
REI: I think it's bodacious! And Pacey...
She sighs dramatically.
A PASSERBY: Whoa! What just happened to her eyes???
LITA: (angrily) I can't believe you're dating him! He's mine!
SERENA: (making a goofy face) I don't know, the people here seem strange. I mean, look at them - all brunettes and blonds. Not a single blue or pink head among them! And their eyes are so small!
AMY: I think they're very nice, but there is something odd about that Joey girl.
SERENA: Yeah, major bad vibes from her. I mean, she changes her mind like every half a second!
LUNA: She does seem dangerously unstable.
AMY: Well, we'll be sure to keep a close eye on her.
EMERALD: (who has been watching from the shadows) Ah! I've found them! Now we can steal energy we never use from a place where we'll be sure to get caught once again! (disappears in a fit of obnoxious and evil laughter)
Scene - Everyone's at dinner. Not the Icehouse.
SERENA: (stuffing her face with the appetizer bread) Ohhh, these rolls are so good! (munching noises)
DARIEN: Uh, Serena...maybe you should slow down a litle. Save room for something else.
SERENA: (still gobbling away) I've got room!
PACEY: (quietly, to Dawson) How does she even fit that much food in her mouth?
REI: (overhearing) She's got a big mouth.
At that moment, Serena finishes the rolls and begins bawling for more. It's basically one of those mouth-taking-over-her-whole-face things.
DAWSON: No kidding.
AMY: (looking across the restaurant) Oh dear! Guys, isn't that Emerald?
ANDIE: (following her gaze) She also has very cool hair.
I'm still working on it! Send feedback, etc., especially good - if you are a DC fan or a serious SM fan I will laugh in your face.