Version 06.30.00
an unpolished rough draft

BACON

Thanks for being here tonight. And for all the hardcore fans of Cock ESP, this is a little something special for you.

BACON begins to sing a song, maybe accompanied by distortion, but preferably by real pre-recorded music. As he sings, Matt moves through the audience, singing tenderly to individual members with utmost sincerity and conviction in the lyrics. The song is something like Love Hurts by Nazareth, or possibly the disco-era ballad Magnet and Steel by Walter Egan. BACON is interrupted mid-song when he encounters EMIL HAGSTROM standing amid the audience, also in Cock ESP costume. Silently, Emil raises his arms to Matt; maybe he’s touched by Matt’s song. Whether out of revulsion or fear, BACON’s reaction to finding HAGSTROM is fierce, and the two are soon locked in a struggle. Before they can knock themselves unconscious, the lights go down. Or if there is no blackout [there probably won’t be], they abruptly stop their entanglement and take their places for the next scene.

Doctor
Lights up. E.W. HAGSTROM lies unresponsive on a table. MATT BACON enters with a medical bag. The group’s various pieces of noise equipment are tuned loudly one by one, possibly in pre-operative preparation by MATT. BACON opens his bag and takes out the necessary medical accessories. After snapping on a pair of latex gloves he picks up a medical cutting apparatus, probably not a scalpel, possibly oversized scissors.

BACON cuts open HAGSTROM, and reaches inside. He rummages around for some tumor or defunct organ. He tugs on something that won’t readily come out of E.W.’s body. Using tongs, BACON pulls out a stained, giant sanitary napkin. BACON dissects the bloody pad with delight. Becoming more engrossed with the handiwork of the scissors, BACON goes about cutting at various things with growing intensity. Meanwhile, HAGSTROM has slowly been regaining consciousness. By the time HAGSTROM becomes aware of where he is, BACON has worked himself into a frenzy of apparent amputation-fever and wields the cutting equipment threateningly. Alarmed by BACON’s advances, HAGSTROM sits up abruptly, intestines of spaghetti pasta spilling forth from the unstitched incision made in him earlier.

Something like amplified sounds of an escalating heartbeat are broadcast as a chase and struggle ensue between BACON and HAGSTROM. These E.G.-esque heartbeats fall into layers of distorted noise. In the scuffle MB slips or is otherwise overpowered by EWH.

Standing over MATT’s inert body, EMIL makes some large, unseen cuts with MATT’s surgical implements. After he is done, HAGSTROM stands triumphant. The sullied scalpel [or other prop implying a scalpel] is in one hand, dangling from his other hand by the mane is the donkeyhead.

Moving away from the decapitated BACON, HAGSTROM takes his bloody [probably not actually bloody] prize to the far side of the stage. However, it isn’t long before he shows signs of remorse.

Some kind of church-like or bad funeral music comes on. E.W. HAGSTROM sadly tosses dead flowers onto MATT BACON’s body.

Groans emit from BACON, who still lies on the floor where he was in the last scene. The groans get louder and louder until he shakes himself up into a sitting position. Matt is not beheaded afterall. We see that on his face is a beautiful and intricately designed skull mask.

HAGSTROM stops in his tracks as soon as BACON has started moving. What his reaction is at this point I have no idea. In E.W.’s hands is BACON’s donkeyhead. BACON moves toward HAGSTROM carrying one of the amps. BACON lunges for HAGSTROM and grabs the donkeyhead. HAGSTROM reels back with the amp attacking him. He ends up on the floor writhing under the amp, which covers his face. ...
H O M E

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