MELANIE CHISHOLM is the first to admit that the year 2000 was pretty toilet for her.
Actually her words are stronger than that. But whichever way you phrase it, Sporty Spice didn't have a good time.
Gossip and rumours about her sexuality, her weight gain and her excessive partying saw the usually cheerful Scouser ending the year with depression and violent public outbursts that only added fuel to the flames.
This year Mel is determined that things are going to be different.
Later this month she kicks off her massive solo world tour, which has sold out thanks to the success of her double platinum selling album Northern Star.
"I'm starting a different phase of my life," says Mel, looking remarkably refreshed after spending Christmas at home in Liverpool with her family.
"I've had to slow down a bit. I'd put on weight, I wasn't working out as much as I used to and I was on fast forward all the time.
"At Christmas I was feeling dead and burnt out, so I decided to chill a bit. Now I feel stronger, fitter and I'm really looking forward to this year."
With her new softer, blonde highlighted hairstyle, Mel admits she's done a lot of growing up over the past year.
And despite her occasional foulmouthed outbursts, for which she is always painfully sorry, she admits that she's not the tough nut everyone thinks she is.
"Yes, of course I get upset," she says softly. "Mostly I think the gay rumours are funny. But I did go through a stage where I was a bit embarrassed that when people met me they were thinking I was gay.
"Then I thought: 'So what if I was?' It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've got a lot of gay friends.
She adds: "I know you shouldn't be concerned with what people think about you, but it's easier said than done.
"There have been things printed about me that I've had to square with my family and say: 'You know it's not true'.
"I had a very close, so-called friend - now an ex-friend - who sold a story on me that was drug related. I had to ring my mum and that was tough.
"As far as relationships go, though, it's just something I don't particularly want plastered all over the papers.
"I've always been known as Single Spice but I've dated people along the way."
The latest man in her life is Dan Williams, from Tomcat, the group who supported Mel on her last tour. Petrified that anything she says will be taken the wrong way, Mel wisely decides to say nothing.
Despite being linked with Robbie Williams, J from Five and soccer star Robbie Fowler, it's always the lesbian line that keeps getting dragged up.
"No, I'm not gay," she says with a sigh. "I've not taken a vow of celibacy either. I've simply never been in a relationship that's been anything I've wanted to go public.
"I'm definitely romantic. I did have a long-term boyfriend when I was 19, but it was such a long time ago I can't remember how I felt, so it's lost its validity.
"I've met people I've liked, but it's never quite worked out. I sometimes wonder whether I'll ever meet someone I really like."
When we meet at a trendy London bar, Mel is being her typical, down-to-earth self, and refreshingly open about her feelings. Dressed in jogging pants and a blue sleeveless shirt revealing her toned, tanned, arms she looks healthy, happy and fit.
But she admits: "It's not a proper tan. I've been using sunbeds. And I'm having more fun as a blonde, so that saying must be true!
"I'm not really concerned with appearances, which probably sounds like a stupid thing to say because I do like to be fit. But it's more about how I feel inside.
"With the hair thing, I thought I'd try it after being dark for ages. I'll try anything and the blonde does seem to suit me and make my face look softer."
It's also no secret that Mel C is the most successful of the Spices in her solo career. Her collaboration with Lisa Lopes last year got critical acclaim here and in America.
Mel says: "It was the ultimate when it got to No1. I've taken a lot of criticism about my solo work, but it can change so much in the eyes of the music press as soon as you have a big success.
"As soon as I began selling records they decided it was good. Well it was good months ago."
Latest rumour is that the Spices will definitely split this year after their last album, Forever, flopped. It's also said that Mel is the one keen to make the final break first.
But she insists: "The Spice Girls really are Forever. Why would we split up?
"We're having the time of our lives. We have such a laugh and they are my best friends. But I've also got something else to prove, which is why I am so determined to see my solo stuff work."
In fact, Mel hints that there will be another Spice Girls tour in late 2001. "We want to do a world extravaganza," she says.
"But the shows are going to be a lot different from the old ones. We are going to have more solo stuff, and it's going to be a lot funkier and modern.
"But with the other girls having babies we had to slow down because we were so exhausted. I just felt there were other things to do and so did they.
"The world's our oyster, really. We're taking each day as it comes and just want to be happy."
While she loves Victoria's toddler Brooklyn and Mel B's daughter Phoenix Chi, Mel is not ready to be a mum herself. "I'd like children, but not for a while. The babies are gorgeous, but as soon as they cry I give them back.
"I'm not broody at all. My career comes first and I can only focus on one thing at a time."
As for marriage, Mel is sceptical, since her parents divorced when she was only three.
"When I was growing up it made me cautious about getting married," she reveals. "It made me quite cynical about it.
"But I don't think you can ever say never about anything. I'm 26 now and I feel like I've grown up a lot."
Mel adores her 45-year-old mum, Joan, and has used her as a role model in her life:
"My mum is a top bird. I speak to her about five times a day. With her being a cabaret singer, she was my idol and I wanted to grow up and be like her. In fact when I was a kid I thought all mums were singers.
"I was never a terrible teenager or rebellious. We've never had an argument, we're more like friends and we're both dead laid back. I never row with anyone."
That's not what you'd think about Mel's relationship with ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, of whose solo work Mel said: "She can't dance and she can't sing either."
There are also her attacks on rivals Westlife. Mel admits she has often been brutally honest about Geri since she left the group two years ago, but says that she was just being upfront:
"This feud is crap!" she says angrily. "I might have said stuff about her records, but I was being honest, not spiteful.
"If you ask me a question I'll answer it honestly. I'd rather live my life being criticised for being honest than being a liar. I went to see Geri at the Brits, before it got all chaotic, and wished her luck for her performance.
"I knew she'd be nervous doing it all on her own. There's no animosity there and there never was. Life's too short.
"The Spice Girls is like a jigsaw puzzle and it was a shame when Geri left, because it was like a bit was missing really.
"She gets in touch with each of us occasionally. She sent me some flowers when I got to No1 and sent presents for the babies when they were born."
Mel admits that, although the gossip does drive her mad, her New Year resolution is that she isn't going to let it get to her.
"Life couldn't be better right now," she says with a grin. "I have my down days, like everybody, but I've learned to put things into perspective.
"If I'm feeling down I have to remember how lucky I am."