BLONDE JOKES Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911.
Blonde: We need help. We're 3 blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house is on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

Q. What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A. Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q. Why do blondes have more fun?
A. Coz they're easier to keep amused.

Q. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A. The back of her head.

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n' sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. What's a light bulb?

Q. How can you tell a blonde's been working on your computer?
A. The white-out on the screen.

Q. How can you tell when she has been on even longer?
A. When there is writing over the white-out.

Q. What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
A. A translator

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember 'em.

Q. How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A. You shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q. How do you know if a blonde sent a fax?
A. It's got a stamp on it.

Q. What do you say when a fly flies into a blonde's ear?
A. Space Invaders.

A blonde and a brunette are walking in the park. The brunette screams loudly "Look! There's a dead bird!" The blonde looks up and says "Where?"

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe.

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

A blonde a brunette and a red head were running from the police. They found three potato sacks in an alleyway so they hid inside. When the police arrived, they found the potato sacks. They kicked the first one and the brunette said, "meow" "Oh it's just a cat" they thought. They kicked the second one. The red head said "woof" "Oh, it's just a dog" They kicked the third one. The blonde said "potaaatoes!"

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves down to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy and will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!" The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in first class that belongs in economy and she won't return to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to move and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston and I'm staying right here!" The copilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde..I speak blonde!" He goes back to the blonde, takes off his hat, bends over and whispers in her ear. She abruptly stands and says, "Oh...I'm sorry!" and she gets up, passes her hand through her blonde hair and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. "I told her first class isn't going to Houston."

A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hail storm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into the tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, "HELLOOOOOO, you need to roll up the windows first!"