QUOTES
~ MISC ~

*We spend the first 12 months of children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 telling them to sit down and shut up.

*Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

*The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

*There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

*Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

*Atheism is a non-Prophet organisation.

*Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

*One of the advantages of being disorganised is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

*You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

*Friends who think they're perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.

*When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

*For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord.

*A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

*Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

*Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will see a man who can't get his pants off!

*Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, but socially dead.

*If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

*I'm blonde...what's YOUR excuse?

*Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

*I'm only a bitch on days that end with 'y'.

*I'm sorry...do I look like I was listening?

*Baby, I loved you, I needed you...You said I love you, did you mean it? Lemme think, hmm..no!!

*You broke my heart and made me cry, now repeat after me baby: "Bye, Bye, Bye."

*Normal people worry me.

*If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your achievements?

*Silence is golden, but shouting is fun.

*Evil is just LIVE spelt backwards.

*Nobody's perfect...I must be nobody.

*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message and if I don't call back, it's you.

*I don't have an attitude problem, it's s'posed to be like this.

*My door is always open...feel free to leave.

*When you're arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.

*I dunno what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

*I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

*I don't care what you think of me, coz it can't be half as bad as what I think of you.

*B is for Beautiful, I is for Intelligent, T is for Talented, C is for Charming and H is for How hard I'm gonna hit you for calling me a bitch.

*I'm smiling coz you're my sister, and laughing coz there's nothing you can do about it.

*I'm a Bitch. Why? Coz I'm a Babe In Total Control Of Herself.

*Living on Earth may be expensive, but you get a free annual trip around the sun.

*Ever notice that the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

*If it were the thought that counted, a lot more women would be pregnant.

*Women want one man to meet every need...Men want every woman to meet one need.

*The more keys you have, the more likely you are to get locked out.

*How long a minute is depends on the side of the bathroom door you're on.

*You're as fake as press-on nails.

*Heaven don't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

*Rose are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

*I'm not a lie, I'm not an illusion, I'm an angel, What's the confusion?

*Scientists say that 1 in every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends, if they're okay, you're it.

*You can't stay mad at someone who makes you laugh.

*We could learn a lot from crayons.. some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names.. and all are different colours.. but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

*You always want what you can't have. When you can't have it you want it more. Once you have it, you don't want it anymore.

*They say forgive and forget, but if someone's worth forgiving, you'll never forget them.

*Dont apologise for feelings - when you do, you apologise for the truth.

*I smile because I wonder what the hell is going on.

*I can go from angel to devil in 3 seconds.

*A celebrity is a person who works hard all his/her life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses so they're not recognised.

*Teenager with nose ring, baggy clothing and spiked hair to friend: "I don't really like dressing like this but it keeps my parents from dragging me wherever they go."

*If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

*Let's have an intelligent conversation - I'll talk and you listen.

*It's not easy being me, but it's funny watching people try.

*A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

*Never underestimate the power of stupid in large groups.

*Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

*My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I'm right.

*Sometimes I lay awake at night and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is gonna take more than one night."

*Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

*Judge me if you want, but keep the verdict to yaself.

*I'm sugar 'n' spice 'n' everything nice - before you mess with me though, you best think twice.

*Don't give me attitude - I have my own!!

*I didn't ask to be a princess - but hey, if the crown fits.

*Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

*I have a perfect brain. Just like new. Still in original container. Never been used.

*If you need space join NASA baby!

*He broke my heart so I broke his jaw.

*Women are born to shop. Men are born to carry bags. Thank the Lord I'm female.

*When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

*This is National Moron Week - Thanx for participating.

*Birthdays are good for you! Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

*Whoeva said "nothing is impossible" obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.

*Joys divided are increased. - Josiah Gilbert Holland

*Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much. - Evich Fromm

*What is this life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare. - W.H. Davies

*Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning. - General George S. Patton Jnr.

*In times of danger, absence of body is better than presence of mind.

*Patience is the companion of wisdom. - Augustine

*Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

*You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself. - Galiteo

*The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed. - Chamfort

*What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

*Never regret something that made you smile.

*Being beautiful is hard, but someone's gotta do it.

*If I try to fail and I do, does that mean I succeeded?

*Are you alwayz this stupid or is this just a special day for you?

*I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, then I realized - suicide's a crime!!

*Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

*If God made girlz to chase guyz, why didn't he make 'em worth chasing?

*There is no 'I' in S-L-U-T but there is a 'U'.

*20% Angel + 20% Devil + 20% Bitch + 20% Sweety + 20% Good = 100% Real

*Jesus loves you, it's just the rest of us that think you're an asshole.

*Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect so why practise?

*Remember, when someone annoys you that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to smack 'em.

*Do I look like a grocery item? I saw you checking me out.

*It's hard to answer the questions "What's wrong?" when nothing's right.

*Don't worry! Just coz you're not as special as me doesn't mean I don't still love you.

*Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.

*Smile - it makes people wonder what you're thinking.

*I'm through with guyz, they all tell lies, they break your heart 'n' make you cry, loving guyz is such a sin, check out that guy who just walked in.

*10% angel, 10% hottie, 10% diva, 20% goddess, 20% perfect, 30% princess = 100% me!!

*Your jealousy is my energy..ever wonder why I'm so hyper?

*If you want me to fall for you, you can start by giving me something worth tripping over.

*It's better to let someone think you're an idiot, than to open your mouth and prove it.

*Your village just called - they want their idiot back.

*I tried to sniff coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose.

*When scientists do discover the centre of the universe, don't be disappointed when it's not you.

*Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by colour.

*I'm not weird, I'm GIFTED.

*Why is that the only one who can stop you crying is the one that is making you cry.

*Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile so when you are lonely remember this is true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.

*God created men first coz you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

*God made rivers, God made lakes, God made me and that was no mistake.

*An angel is what I was meant to be, that's why bein sweet comes so naturally.

*Why do we have to go to bed when we're awake and get up when we're asleep?

*Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful, hate me coz your boyfriend thinks I am.

*Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

*My opinions may have changed but the fact that I'm right hasn't.

*I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

*20% angel + 20% devil + 20% blonde + 15% cutie + 10% loveable + 10% hyper = 100% ME!

*I'm an angel, my halo is just held up by horns.

*Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do bit doesn't get you anywhere.

*Born to shop, forced to go to school.

*We do not understand:
Joy...until we face sorrow
Faith...until it is tested
Peace...until faced with conflict
Hope...until confronted with doubts
Trust...until we are betrayed
Love...until it is lost

*Your jealousy is my energy, ever wonder why I'm so hyper?

*It is better to forgive and forget than it is to live your life in shame and regret.

*Stupid people gossip, dumb people lie, smart people live.

*The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back.

*Sometimes your heart see things that are invisible to your eyes.

*First God created man, then he had a better idea.

*A day without sunshine is ya know night.

*I'm sugar and spice and everything nice, but before you mess with me you better think twice.

*I have all the answers, I never said they were right.

*For all of you who talk about me, thanx for making me the centre of your world.

*You might regret what you do, but you will regret what you don't do so much more.

*Any kid will run an errand for you if you ask it at bedtime.

*Where there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. - African Proverb

*What is unseen is not necessarily unknown. - Wendelessen

*What we want is a secret noone can tell us.

*An eye for an eye only lead to more blindness. - Margaret Atwood

*Never look down on a person unless you are picking them up.

*The one thing we can give and still keep is our word.

*Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. - Vici Derrick

*Little things affect little minds. - Disraeli

*Nothing would be done at all if we waited until we could do it so well that noone could find fault with it. - John Henry Cardinal Newman

*Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

*Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz

*Service is the rent we pay for our room on earth.

*It is nice to be important, but more important to be nice.

*Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

*The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none.

*Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

*There's much to be said for challenging fate instead of ducking behind it. - Benjamin Franklin

*Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. - William Derment

*Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - Elbert Hubbard

*If you believe everything you read, better not read. - Japanese Proverb

*The average person thinks he isn't. - Father Larry Lorenzani

*Trust your own instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own instead of someone else's. - Billy Wilder

*Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

*Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift - that's why we call it the present.

*There is a foundation of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring in your life and the lives of other people. - Sophia Loren

*The best way out is through. - Robert Frost

*Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.

*The fool wonders; the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

*Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
*Men are alike in their promises. It is only in their deed they differ. - Moliere

*Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

*An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. - Orlando A. Battista

*Laziness is often mistaken for patience.

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