QUOTES
~ STATEMENTS ~

* I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

* I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

* If I had some ham, I could have some ham and egss, if I had some eggs.

* I'm an excellent housekeeper -- everytime I get a divorce, I keep the house.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor ~

* I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

* My wife said I never listen to her. At least, I think that's what she said.

* We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

* I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

* If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

* I filled out an application that said "In case of emergency notify". I wrote "Doctor"...what's my mother gonna do?