"I want to be the girl with the most cake."
--Courtney Love
I like cake. Not only is cake generally good (that is, if you don't coat it with coconut or something), but it is a present that you can eat. Cakes are a celebratory food, and the first cakes were known to be created in the 1st century AD. The wedding cake was also created, although it took another 1700 years for the groom's cake to come around. Mardi Gras's traditional King Cake started in 1870, and fortunately, for billions of years no one knew anything about the fruitcake, which was created in 1896. The guy who first said (or at least wrote down, and thus gets credit) some variation of "Have my cake and eat it too," John Heywood, by the way, also is credited for such gems as "Haste maketh waste," "Look ere ye leape," "When the iron is hot, strike," "No man ought to looke a given horse in the mouth," and more (I found these at bartleby.com). Cakes are an important part of celebrations, and can make any day into a party (What, you made a cake? Wow!). Ok, enough with the history of cakes (if you're interested, check out the Culinary History Timeline). On with the Top 7 (Or So) Cakes!
7. Sad 16
My 16th birthday celebration totally summed up my teenage experience. Even then I knew that being a loser was hi-larious! Woo wee, I had one friend! My damn cake was in a pan! Later, Nicol and I went to the mall, to see Parenthood, and to McDonald's. If that wasn't a rockin' sweet sixteen party I don't know what is.
6.5. Carefully Executed 18
Note that it is pretty much the same deal here, only a little better. It's still one friend and my brother, but on my 18th birthday my cake was actually on a cake plate. I choreographed this picture for the effect. I did not, however, choreograph my brother's t-shirt, which says "HOT" in neon colors.
6. Er, There's a Baby in My Cake
I like these pictures of my brother Todd's 5th birthday because he is oblivious to the fact that there is a baby laying on the kitchen table next to his cake. He's like, "Ok, cool, whatever, but give me some cake NOW." I don't even think he sees me. He is entranced by my mother's patriotic red, white, and blue cake (sort of pink and baby blue, but he is 5, so who cares). For every birthday of his since, we have carried on the tradition of me laying on the kitchen table next to his cake. Of course, we had to get a much bigger table. And a smaller cake.
5.5. Er, There's Some Cake on My Baby
You didn't think you weren't going to have to see one of these, did you? The universal first birthday picture.
5. Raspberry Beret
This first picture is a lame, slidy cake I made for Ann's birthday. Here are a few tips: if you suck at cake making, especially layered cakes like I apparently do, you must find something else to emphasize. I choose to decorate. This cake looks pretty festive because of all the strawberries and raspberries, not to mention the fact that the frosting has a whole box of powdered sugar in it. The next picture is my friend Terra's wedding cake. That's Terra standing next to the cake... no, not really. That's Patrick, who is standing next to the cake as if he made the cake. He looks very proud of himself. Perhaps he is proud that he found the cake, and that later he will eat it. (There's no picture of Terra's groom's cake, a chocolate wonderland, but later in the reception Patrick basically sat on the floor next to it so he could get more without getting up.)
4. A Study in Mississippi Air Conditioning Standards, 1967-2001
These are my parents on their wedding day (duh, they don't always dress like this). Note how the cake seems to be melting off of the table...it was July. If you look carefully, you can see little melty cherubs sliding off too! I don't think I've ever seen cherubs on a cake before. Perhaps this is why.
3.5. A Study in Mississippi Air Conditioning Standards, Part II
This is my wedding cake (there is a groom behind me somewhere). Note the way it is intact. No cherubs, either. At least my children won't make fun of my cake, although I'm sure my hair will be up for grabs eventually.
3. Lost Her Marbles
For my 25th birthday, Ann made me this insane cake. She has a checkerboard cake pan thing (?) that lets you create a chocolate and vanilla checkered cake, but oh no, that wasn't good enough for Ann. She had to be a total nut (a very, very sweet and thoughtful nut) and make it chartreuse, orange, yellow, and turquoise! With light green icing! With white swirls!
2.5. Kermit
Here is Heidi with the frightening Kermit cake I made her for her 21st birthday. The kit came with all of that, um, interesting icing, the cardboard eyes, the pan, the whole shabang. We were roommates, and when she got home I didn't say anything about it being her birthday. Then I asked her to get me something out of the kitchen, and she huffed in there all pouty and put upon, "Woe is me, it's my birthday and no one cares," only to find the scariest cake in the world!
2. Dueling Red Velvet Cakes
For my last birthday, my librarian friends knew I liked red velvet cake, but they didn't know what kind of icing I wanted (my general response to icing is "Yes, please"). So instead of asking, the ever-resourceful librarians just made two cakes, one with sticky marshmallowy icing and one with cream cheese icing. That's what I call being prepared. In this picture, the sticky marshmallowy icinged cake gets candled while the other waits patiently in its plastic container. There were maybe 6 people there, and we pretty much demolished both cakes.
1. We Got Some Dawgs Up In Here
Ta da! Here it is, the Best Cake in the World. It was my 23rd birthday and Ryan crafted this very special cake for me. I know it's obvious, but the cake is shaped like a dog's head with its eye bugging out and its mouth wide open (there was a commercial for some veterinarian service with a similar dog, and we thought it was hi-larious! it was also popular to make your hand look like a dog's open mouth and then to make a sound effect, which, sadly, I cannot reproduce here). This was a great birthday. I got a party, and I made out with three boys! And one of them was my boyfriend!
Note: What is really amazing is the fact that when I started looking through pictures, there were SO MANY other cake pictures!
