Thess are some really weird headlines that were found in national Newspapers last year:
1. Hurricane rips through cemetery; hundreds dead.
2. Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
3. Include you children when baking biscuits.
4. Iraqi head seeks arms.
5. Miners refuse to work after death.
6. Kids make nutritious snacks.

Now read this: A few innocent questions...........?
1. If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
2. Why is it the tourist season if we can't shoot them?
3. Why are there flotation devices under the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
4. You know the indestructable black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
5. When dog food has a new improved taste, who tests it?

Funny Sayings:
- There are two theories to argueing with a woman. Neither one works.
- Duct tape i like the force: it has a light side and dark side andit holds the universe together.
- Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
- If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.
- Before you critize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you critize them, you are a mile a way and you have their shoes.
- Never test teh depth of the water with both feet.

READ THIS:

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write. Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making right rite copy right before the copyright can be right. Should Jim Wright decided to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would copy Wright's right and rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right. Right?

Cool huh? very confusing too. right? nah j/k. i'm sick of that word now. am i right? lol kidding