What happened?
I scream in confusion
and pain
and heartbreak
and joy.
Why,
when I need to cry the most,
will my heart not let the tears fall?
My heart was ripped out violently
then replaced, ever so gently,
putting me in a frenzy
of heartbreaking joy
and tearless crying.
Not knowing how to feel,
and still crying silently,
my mind is a blur
and I think of everything and nothing at once.
Why does life seem to hate me
but bless me?
This confusion is agony.
I can't concentrate.
I am lost in my mind:
a place of unexplainable things
and feelings.
Last night I couldn't sleep.
The night was filled with unwept tears.
But for what?
Why is it that I cry with such pain?
and without tears?
I cry for what was lost
but the tears won't fall
because of what I have gained.
I'm not sure what it is yet,
but my heart tells me
that it is greater
than what I lost.
Did I really lose something?
Or was it never mine?
The more I think about it,
the more foolish I feel.
Hoping something belongs to you
doesn't make it happen.
It just throws you down harder
when you find out it's not yours.
Everything has changed now.
My heart tries to tell me
that it has changed for the better
but I have a hard time believing
that my heart is right.
Because everything it has ever told me
has never come true.
But still I will follow what it tells me
in hopes that some day it will not fail me.
Maybe this time
my heart will be right
and I will find happiness
in great friendship.
