Even now my heart is crying
as I stare thoughtfully into the distance and tap my lower lip with
my pen--
even now my lips smile
out of habit, out of knowing the way things go.
She says something nice and I smile.
That is the way things go, because
now is not the time to cry.
Now is time to write, and eat ad sleep
and after I've done that
after I've answered the phone, taken a shower, hugged my mom
after I've washed the dishes, put them away, cleaned my room, eaten,
washed the dishes
after I've done that
you'll know how I can smile.
That is the way things go.