FEMBOTS
Most of you don't know this, but I, Buddy Dovercourt, am an agent for CSIS.
I go around, looking into musical acts in Canada, trying to figure out if
any of them are a threat to average Canadian life.
Make no mistake: the
Fembots are a threat to the dull and predictable. I took the time one day to
capture Mike of the Fembots and interrogate him:
CSIS: What are you doing here?
Mike Fembot: We're here to foil your evil plot and kill you in an unusual
and possibly ironic way. Plus if we have time we'll make love to your women
and get into some kind of car/ski/helicopter chase.
What documentation do you have?
A Grade 12 diploma and a licence to kill.
Who sent you?
We could tell you that but we'd have to kill you. Actually, we'll have to
kill you anyway. I'll tell you what, if you reveal you evil master plan,
we'll tell you who sent us, then we'll kill you.
Give me a list of your armaments.
Fisher-Price xylophone, pop cans, buzzerphone, lawnmower, fire alarm (safety
first), tapeloops, balloons and spoons, plus the usual Super Car ('89 Crown
Victoria station wagon) and exploding cigarette lighter.
Have you seen the film Cloak and Dagger starring Dabney Coleman? We have
ways to get the truth.
I don't know what movie you saw but I saw Cloak and Dagger starring Henry
Thomas (of E.T. fame). I also saw Maxwell Smart: The Nude Bomb and They Call
Me Bruce in the theatre. Torture will have no effect on me.
Do you remember a collection of toys called the Power Lords, and if so,
which was your favourite?
I can't remember the Power Lords, but I do remember He-Man and She-Ra, the
Weebles, Barba Poppa, Big Jim, Hugo the Man of a Thousand Faces, and the
Transformers. I also remember some type of horror kids toy that was a big
plastic head full of green goo, but I can't remember what it was called. Of
them I think the best have to be the Bible Heroes action figures that came
out a few years ago (no joke). You could play Moses vs. the Egyptians or Old
Testament vs. New Testament. Brian has a Lorne Greene action figure if that
counts for anything.