-Tim: You see the problem with rods is they were banned at Columbus Fest last year so if I want to be able to go back I can't answer any questions about them.

-WCWZ: How does a woman kiss if she has no lips?

-Tim: I guess she'd be out of luck, but I could suggest a little product called anti-freeze (if you know what I mean...).

-WCWZ: How does a penis erect if it has no shaft?

-Tim: I think you mean Die Hard With a Vengeance, right?

-WCWZ: How does a piece of hair remain emo if it is not black?

-Tim: I'm afraid that's scientifically impossible.

-WCWZ: How does a one Rocky still have any self-respect left if his last name isn't Balboa?

-Tim: Three words: Witness Protection Program.

-WCWZ: How does a copy machine make copies if there is no secretary's ass sitting on top of it?

-Tim: I mean really what do you think the people on the sun look like? Do you think if they came here they'd have to wear like a North Face jacket or something?

-WCWZ: How does an ass flap seemed justified if there is no Aus Rotton logo on it?

-Tim: The truth is the scene council just decided that if an ass flap does not have an Aus Rotten logo on it the offender is then officially a dork (or the other way around depending on what scene council you think is the proper one). I've also heard that Blanks 77, Disrupt, and Celtic Frost are acceptable ass wear.

-WCWZ: How does a one Peter Chauncy and one Tim Murphy make love if they have no sexual chocolate?

-Tim: The aforementioned subject is not required for asexual reproduction.