-Louie: Well not really considering we made that fuckin magazine, dude. Get with the times.

-WCWZ: Has your recent exposure in Spin sparked any interest from major labels?

-Louie: Dude fuck that shit. We already turned down MCA, Capital, East West. All pussies man, all pussies.

-WCWZ: Besides shitting in paper bags and lighting them on fire, what else do you like to do?

-Louie: I'll kick your fuckin ass Durkin. That stupid Pulitzer Prize don't mean shit to a metal machine like myself.

-WCWZ: Where do you see My So Called Lice 10 years from now?

-Louie: (This answer received no response from My So Called Lice)

-WCWZ: Many have criticized you for ditching your 15 year old guitar player in Boulder, CO in the middle of your last tour after kicking his ass with a potato gun shooter. What do you have to say about this?

-Louie: I guess you could say it was a business decision.

-WCWZ: There has been a growing concern among music scholars that your bass player has lice. If she does have lice, what kind of action will you take?

-Louie: First of all, how could she have lice? I thought the name already fuckin answered your question, dick cheese.

-WCWZ: Do some of your band members still light their gentiles on fire for fun?

-Louie: I burned and stabbed my wiener, that's very popular around here.

-WCWZ: A promoter quoted you in the Tribune a couple weeks back saying, "The fucker punched me in the face and then kicked me in the balls while shouting, "I think I got cancer... after just smoking your ass!". How do you feel about this hostility?

-Louie: All your fuckin bitch asses are full of cancer. Yeah I kicked his fuckin grandchildren's asses too. I don't take shit from nobody, not even the deceased.

-WCWZ: Any last comments?

-Louie: I'd like to say this isn't my first time appearing in Durkinzine, check issue #1. I'd just like to say this fuckin sucks. I better get paid or Rufus will be on your front lawn. You know what I mean from the last time that fuckin Vanilla Ice pissed on my 'turf. Nuff said bitches.