America: Love it or bomb it's Midwestern buracratic outposts.
I have an idea for a game show. It's called the "$25,000 In One Year With Four Kids Pyramid".
Bother the annoying
I saw an ad on TV the other day. They now have a product called "Pre Moistened Toilet Paper." Some people are just stupid enough to buy this shit, so I'm coming out with my own brand. It's called Spit. It's free.
If theres one thing almost everyone can agree on, it's that sex can be alot of fun.
The next time you're in the supermarket, try screaming at the top of your lungs at something really insignificant. "Holy shit! They raised the price of fuckin' ice cream!". They'll love you.
You know what the best channel on TV is? The one with only static.
Tanning booths are like bottled water. Water and skin cancer are free.
It's shake and bake, and I didn't do shit.
God likes to watch.