"Immortal Beloved...XXVIII..."

A shortie...

PG-13

Disclaimer: It's all yours and ME's, Joss...Except the 'Soames Walthrop'...

Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...

Summary: Ok, now I've gone utterly and entirely too far...(Remember they're not parts of one story, but a series of retellings during and after the Rome rendezvous of "Girl In Question")

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LA...Main lobby of the Wolfram-Hart tower...Two hours before the planned assault to prevent the rising of the Senior Partners from Hell...

"Buffy?..." William and Angel, summoned by Harmony, stare at her...Hey, guys...she waves...You call, I come...she notes brightly...

...And her... 'guest'...An enormous, tall, huge-stomach-slowly-swaying-like-the-tide...Man?...His large, multi-chinned, Buddha-like face seemingly oblivious to all the petty goings on about him as he sat on a huge cushion...Eyes concealed by large, slitted, metallic sunglasses...Loud-colored, loose clothes hanging on his huge bulk...Heavy gold chains about his vast neck...Vague wisps of dark hair straying from a large, soft, misshapen hat...

"This is Edwin F. Edwards...Better known as Big Puffed Daddy..." she beamed at the colossal mass...

My latest...she shyly smiled...

"Ummn...Not that I've stopped caring for you guys...William?...I was waitin' for your call, you know..."

Figured you'd decided it was best to let things be...she noted...

"What happened to...?" Will began...Trying not to stare at...It...

"His Benevolence?..." Buffy frowned...Eh, different paths...He eyed her...

Ok...she sighed...If you must know, he found out about you being alive...And thought it was horrible that I hadn't tried to reach you...Said he couldn't be with someone with so little compassion and feeling for all you'd done for me...

"I was really down...I was even gonna try and call you, Will...Really..." she noted... But then...One night...Big Puffed Daddy came into my life...

Poor me...Will thought...

Big Puffed Daddy gave a slight, benevolent nod of his huge head...Hmmn...Angel eyed William...I think I have heard of this...Thing...his look saying...Will nodding back...Yeah...

"...And gave me what had been missing from my life...And all my past relationships..."

Slobber?...Lard?...Angel thought...

"The world's greatest deejay...And its only Immortal one..." she smiled at her dear one...

"Longer-lived than the so-called 'Immortal'...Conceited jerk..."

"And now...I be his worthless trashy white bitch ho..." she beamed at her beloved fondly...

What?...Angel stared...Wait a minute...He went over to the recently deceased Wesley's office...

Well...She was my 'helplessly chained and enthralled blonde love-slave beauty' last time we did it...Will noted to himself...Still watching...

I guess whatever turns a Slayer on...

Angel returned, a grim look on his face...

"Buffy...This guy is not only not ancient...He's a famous telepath...You're being manipulated..."

She frowned...Oh, right...I finally meet a great guy who neither runs off or hides a continent away in fear of my letting him down...

"Angel...Edwin is not manipulating..."

Excuse me...A blank look came into her eyes... "Edwin need his ho to get him some soda...You got a couple of gallons a Dew?...This'll do for his cup..." she lifted an empty water cooler bottle and broke off the lower half...

Soda...she repeated... "Me Big Puffed Daddy be waitin'..."

Hmmn...Angel stared at her, then the Big Puffed One...But pending Apocalypse had to take precedence...

"Harmony, get...All...The Perpetual Torment Elixir..." he grinned at Will... "We have on hand up here..."

Sure...She frowned at the now-again beaming Buffy...Thank God I'm a vampire and not susceptible to...

That...she eyed Big Puffed Daddy...

"Look, guys..." Buffy stared at her former beaus... "I know about Edwin's rep...And we do sometimes use his Gift to communicate our inmost thoughts directly...But, believe me, I'm..."

A skinny, bony-assed...she blinked...A faint chuckle from Edwin...Angel and Will glaring now...

"He likes to tease...Good for my ego..." she wanly smiles at him... Ummn...Down, guys...It's ok...she notes hastily as the boys show signs of assuming battle posture...

"See...Edwin and I share more than a telepathic link...You may not know it but Edwin is the reincarnated soul of the First Slayer's original mate...Vamped nearly 20,000 years ago...Reborn in a new-sired vamp every few thousand years..."

After he sold his girl to the original Watchmen for five cows and enough grain to last the winter...But times were hard then...she notes...An understanding nod to Edwin...

"Anyway...As I got her memories...We're kinda matched, ya know...Like when I was Cicely a hundred years ago, Will?...Oh, right..." she nods at his shocked face...Cicely?...he blinks...You were... "You never knew...Sorry about sending you to Dru...I thought I was saving your life or something driving you away..."

Ah...Edwin's Dew...She happily heads for the elevator from which a staffer emerges bearing stacked cases of Mountain Dew... "Me boy do like his Dew..." she grins...

Hmmn...Last I heard this character was only two hundred years vamped and famous for collecting Slayer love-slaves...Will hisses to Angel...Using his power and similar stories...

And...He's white...

"Reincarnated...I told you..." an overhearing Buffy interjects...As she mounts a ladder to bring Edwin's Dew to his huge parched lips...

"Just as well...Avoids an potentially embarrassing racist stereotype on our TV show whether his story's true or hokum..." Will notes... Hey!...My TV show!...Angel glares...

"Anyway, Buffy...It was good of you and your...Friend...To come...William and I appreciate it...We can use all the help we can get for this one..." Angel nods to her as she descends the ladder...

"Well I had to come..." Buffy gives a wan smile...Nodding to her beau...

Big Puffed Daddy don't allow his women to disrespect their ex-s...

Slight, solemn nod from the huge mass...

***

Angel having suggested they discuss strategy in his office, Buffy agreed but as Edwin's attendance was physically impossible, requested a few moments to get Big Puffed Daddy comfortably settled in the main lobby...A rather mammoth task involving ordering of multiple sofas, cushions, and a small derrick...

"Well?..." Angel looked at Will after she'd left them in his room...

"What?..."

"It's gotta be mind control...We can act freely with Edwin the Hutt in this case... He's a known telepath...Famous for controlling human and Slayer victims...It's gotta be..."

Oh...

The Brooding One stared at his shrugging grandwhatever...

"You're not gonna stop him?...Spike, she's your reborn Cicely...The love you've sought a hundred years...And he's gotta her under his..." Will waved a hand...

"How do you know he's controlling her?...This is Buffy, remember...I seriously doubt he could hex her mentally for long without her consent...Besides, she seems happy..." he sighed... "And I been down this road once too often...With both Cicely and Buffy..."

Time to take Andy's advice and move on, I'd say...

Well...Angel shrugged...Guess it's up to you...Me having found the love of my existence in Nina and all...

"And as long as she's happy..."

A knock..."Will?..." Buffy re-entered the room... "I just wanted to say I am sorry it didn't work out for us...Either century...But I did mean it...At the time...In 1880 and last year..."

That's fine, sweetheart...he nodded...Very nice...I did appreciate the intention...Her watch started buzzing...

"Oops..." she pressed the alarm button... "Time for this ho to get her pale, lily-white ass throughly kicked...Can we hold for our strategy conference for thirty?..."

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