A disastrous night for Chunky saw them slip to their first defeat since the opening game of last season. It was 15 games and a cup competition since Chunky last lost and that was against Woodlands who were the team that last night snatched a 1-0 victory to seriously dent Chunky's hopes of regaining the title.
Things didn't look good for Chunky from the start, with Thong suspended and sub goalie the Cat on international duty it was up to player manager Rat to fit in between the sticks. This left Chunky badly exposed in the outfield and Glitter was forced to move up front to partner super sub Wisdom whilst Zammo dropped back into midfield to do his trademark donkey work. To add to all this a new look and strong Woodlands side seemed to have brought a team the size of a Pakistani family.
The wind was playing havoc with the game as it got underway, it was blowing right across the pitch giving no advantage to either team but in the first half it seemed as if it was blowing right behind the Woodlands boys. Rat was struggling with his distribution on his goalkeeping debut and was not being helped by a static midfield and attack that seemed content to let the ball blow around for 40 minutes, grab a scoreless draw and wait til next week.
The plan would have been faultless had Woodlands not been up for revenge for their two cup final defeats and intending to get their first points of the season after a disappointing start. Chunky were struggling with control and getting the ball on the deck but Woodlands didn't seem to have so much trouble, picking up the countless loose balls from Chunky and attacking in numbers. In the first ten minutes they were restricted to longe range shots which just whistled past the post on two occasions.
It wasn't long before Woodlands dominance told, a quick corner saw the Rat try and intercept before it reached Woodlands' danger man at the back post who was completely unmarked. The Rat failed but Bostik managed to get there to intercept it, strangely though he didn't clear or pass back to the Rat but stood there waiting to be tackled which he duly was before the ball was struck past the prone vermin.
The Rat was fuming and things didn't get any better. Lack of communication and non-existent pressure on the Woodlands back line in the first half saw them streaming out at will and they nearly bagged another two before half time and Chunky were lucky to go in 1-0 down. The team changed at half time as Zammo and Glitter swapped back to their original roles and this seemed to lift Chunky a little but nowhere near enough.
Chunky had more of the ball but were posing little threat and Woodlands were still breaking dangerously and were unlucky not to add to their total. The only chance of the game for Chunky fell to Zammo, a good ball from Magnum picked him out , his control which had let him and the whole team down all night, was good but his finish was well blocked by the keeper and an undeserved equaliser went begging.
There was still time for a bad challenge on Wisdom as two Woodlands players jumped for the ball and sandwiched him to the ground. Seconds later and Magnum had completed his infamous REVENGE TACKLE and what a beauty it was. He sent the Woodlands player into orbit and with the wind as it was he was lucky to come back to terra firma. Magnum was lucky only to receive a yellow card but after that Chunky finally seemed interested. There was only two minutes to go and time soon petered out to leave Chunky defeated for the first time in a very long time. The last time Chunky were beaten, Michael Jackson was black, Zammo and Glitter had girlfriends, Joe Dolce was number 1 and Wisdom had hair.
"Not happy, not happy at all with that!" said the Rat "I knew we'd have trouble tonight because of missing players and the conditions but we still should have put on a better show than that. I've got players coming off saying they tried hard tonight but blaming the wind. I never saw any trying well not in the first half at least, we got a bit better in the second half but there's a lot of people going through the motions at the moment because we've done the double and the hunger is no longer there. They need a kick up the backside and they're going to get one. We need the passion back, there was me in goals playing like Lev Yashin's more agile, better looking brother and these tits passing to Woodlands all night, i think they forgot we were playing in blue, i'm off to get some free pints from these bastards"
Chunky let their first goal in for 14 games last night as they drew 1-1 with promoted Inter in a game spoiled by the strong winds. It was never going to be pretty in last night's conditions and Chunky may have found the conditions to their liking against a strong side but last night it was the new boys who were thankful for the leveller.
Chunky had last week's missing players back as Thong and Wisdom made a welcome return to give the rest of the squad a much needed boost after last week's debacle. Chunky changed round at the start of the game to play with the wind but it turned out to be far too strong and more of a hindrance than a help. It did enable Chunky to pin Inter back though even if the wind meant they couldn't create much.
The normal poor control of the front pair was made to look even worse by the hurricane and most attempts at trapping from Zammo and Rat were ending up with sighs from the ball boys. Chunky's only real chance of the first half came after good work from Zammo released the Rat near the area but his shot skimmed over when it should have been put away. The vermin was duly replaced by Wisdom.
The first half soon came to a close with neither team really getting to grips with the conditions and goalmouth action being very limited. The spectators that had braved the elements were not being treated to a festival of football to say the least.
The second half was a different matter though as Chunky ignored the strong wind against them and scored a cracking goal within a minute of the restart. The goal involved almost everyone as Chunky sprayed it across the park, good lay offs from Magnum, Zammo, Wisdom and Glitter bamboozled the defence and the final ball from Magnum fell to Glitter who slotted it home after the keeper managed to get a hand to it. It was a wonderful start to the second half and a wonderful goal that made a mockery of the conditions.
Credit to Inter though they came back strongly and yet again Chunky began to ease off the pedal as soon as they'd gone in front. It wasn't long before they received the ultimate punishment. An innocuous throw in was taken on the left and with the runner not picked up the little ginger shit was able to take the ball and slide it under Thong for the first time in nearly 10 hours of football. It was a sad moment for the Chunky team but they did well not to dwell on it and in the last ten minutes really began to dominate.
A good break from Chunky saw the Rat lay on a ball to Glitter who's shot ended up as a pinpoint pass to Magnum, the skipper had time and seemed to place it well but the keeper did well and parried it to safety. Zammo then had a chance after he had done some good tussling down the left but his snapshot just screwed wide of the post. Seconds later and it was the Rat's turn. A nice ball from Glitter found the Rat and the ball bounced temptingly in front of him, the crowd readied themselves to catch it but the vermin struck it well and the keeper had to make a fine save to tip it onto the post and out for a corner. Then Glitter weaved some magic and took on the entire Inter defence before he shot across goal and just wide, this classy piece of skill was undone by his shot later on which made a Rat effort look good. Glitter's left foot effort brought the game to a close and Chunky had missed out on a deserved three points.
Its early days yet but Chunky do have an easy start to the season and they have to perform better than this if they are to regain their title. It does seem as if Chunky have lost their edge and determination a bit and now they dont have that brilliant goal record to defend their passion could diminish further. 4 points from 6 is a good start for Chunky but their fans will be hoping they get into stride quickly before the big guns come on the horizon.
