Chunky produced a wonderful display last night to thrash Penketh Select 3-0 and get their title ambitions well and truly back on track. With conditions much improved since the opening three weeks, Chunky duly took advantage and played their opposition off the park with some lovely football. If anything the last few weeks and the weather it has brought has shown that Chunky are a good footballing side suited to playing the game as it should be played. It was imperative last night that Chunky got all three points. A win would mean Chunky would still be in contact with the leaders and a loss would have meant their chances of regaining the title gone and being involved in a relegation dogfight.
Things didn't look good for Chunky from the start, with Thong suspended and sub goalie the Cat on international duty it was up to player manager Rat to fit in between the sticks. This left Chunky badly exposed in the outfield and Glitter was forced to move up front to partner super sub Wisdom whilst Zammo dropped back into midfield to do his trademark donkey work. To add to all this a new look and strong Woodlands side seemed to have brought a team the size of a Pakistani family.
Right from the outset of last night Chunky clearly knew the importance of the game and from the first minute to the last the blues dominated affairs. With barely thirty seconds on the clock Chunky were clean through on goal. Good work by Magnum released Zammo and for with time to steady himself and shoot the drug addled schoolboy obviously received some sort of flashback about shagging Bella Emberg and he decided to square it to Magnum who was marked by two players, the pass also went flying out of touch.
The game soon became very open and Penketh Select were willing to push forward but where they might have trouble other teams last night they came up against Piltdown and Bostik playing like a man possessed. It was great for Chunky fans to see these two get back to their championship winning form. With these two and Thong laying the platform Chunky began to turn the screw. A nice interchange between Rat and Glitter found the silky midfielder in space but ten yards out and at a hard angle but he struck it superbly past the keeper to give Chunky a deserved lead. Moments later and the Rat struck a thunderbolt just over the bar from 90 yards out despite having a clear run to goal and three or four men in support.
Chunky were showboating though and loving every minute of it. After being restricted in the past few weeks the boys were well up for showing what they really can do when they want. Further goals nearly followed before half time. Bostik struck right at the keeper after a good piece of Greco Roman wrestling in the far corner. Zammo struck the post and the ball trickled across the line and past the other post to safety (Yes i'm aware this happened before the goal but i forgot about it because i cant believe the jug eared idiot actually shot). Glitter also nearly pounced for his second after a mazy run saw his left foot shot saved by the keeper.
Half time soon came and Chunky were looking very comfortable indeed but they knew they had to keep their concentration as usually they slack off at teh start of the second half and Penketh Select had introduced their new star signing to proceedings. Almost immediately though Chunky fans and players breathed a huge sigh of relief as the blues doubled their advantage. Great wrestling yet again from Bostik saw him take on a number of defenders, hold onto the ball for about 20 minutes and finally slide the ball neatly into the bottom corner of the net.
There was a huge question mark over the goal after Bostik had clearly fouled a player during the build up. The young, inexperienced ref was not willing to blow his whistle all night and finally this got Penketh Select annoyed as they surrounded him. The ref then seemed to take their protests to heart and began to deliberately give things Chunky's way. Chunky were grateful for the help and began pouring forward. Glitter produced a lovely pass to Wisdom which he hit on the turn (and of course on the deck), Zammo broke free twice only to hit one wide and one at the keeper. Rat was shooting from all manner of silly angles and blaming the non-existent wind for his wayward shots.
Penketh Select were still trying to get a goal at the other end and they nearly got one on two occasions. Good work from Thong saw him clear a ball but unfortunately it fell right into the path of a Penketh Select player who struck it beautifully from distance only to be denied by an excellent clearing header from Bostik. Skulking behind Bostik, should he have missed, was Magnum wandering in the area and ready to catch the ball. Seconds later Penketh Select had another close range effort brilliantly tipped wide by Thong. The game was almost over when a Penketh Select player brought the ball out from defence but good work from Wisdom saw him muscled off the ball. Glitter picked up the ball as the Penketh players protested to the referee and he calmly slotted it home to give the blues a 3-0 lead. The Penketh players were as furious as Zammo's orgasm face when humping Lisa Riley. They surrounded the ref for 5 minutes before he finally sent two of them off and brought the game to a close, Chunky trundled off as the argument carried on.
"Well that was Chunky back to their best" said MOM Bostik "We always start slowly and we've had a few players missing thats not helped but we're back on track now. We're just coming into form for the games against the big teams and this will stand us in good stead. Everyone has written us off as one season wonders already, but looking around we know we can beat anyone on their day and we can do this again no problem.....Zammo put Jeanette down will you?"
