I’m depressed. I have been off and on for several weeks. The causes are numerous. Call it the second-year slump. Call it the stress of a long-distance relationship. Call is "culture shock," though I prefer to think of it as "culture fatigue." But the fact is, it has left me tired and grumpy and uninspired to write anything for this month’s issue. But I think today the sun is shining, at least a little bit. I was digging through some old files in the "miscellaneous" folder on my hard drive, and I came across one titled "japanese english jems.txt." I don’t know why I stopped doing this, but I used to diligently record all the ridiculous things I saw and heard in this crazy country. I think I stopped doing it because it became a kind of masochism--as an English teacher, I can only laugh at the impossibility of my job for so long. But I’ve decided I can’t let it get me down any more. As one student’s notebook cover reminded me, "Today is beautiful day." I’ll let you decide the significance of their printing that under a picture of a glass of beer. And as if I didn’t already, another corner of the same cover admonished me to "love this stationary."

You might say part of my depression comes from fretting about what to do after I leave Japan. The job market is only getting worse back home, and it worries me. But I’m reminded today that some of the best dreams for the future are the simple ones. As one student put it, "I am egg. My dream is to become a omelet." And of course, I mustn’t forget that that things are changing all the time, as this little verse from a pencil case tells me:

GIRLS BRAVO!!
Decision-making makes
the sense of fashion grow.
A big change is
occurring in coquetry.
The rules in dandyism.
Your subconsciousness in fashion.

And as my mood improves, I am thankful for the story of a little boy named Luffy, who won’t let me forget that adventure could be waiting around every corner. See, once upon a time, "there was a young boy who admired the pirates. His name was Luffy. One day he mistakenly eats the "devil's fruit" and turns himself into a rubber human being." Says Luffy: "I'm going to be the pirate king! I'm going to get ‘ONE PEICE!’"

He's ambitious, but he's not greedy. He doesn't want the whole thing. The path to success may seem long and full of obstacles, but my students have been trying to teach me an important lesson about not letting small things or people stand in my way. Never was this more evident than with their short theatrical parable depicting a women in a clothing store. Notice how the clerk is direct and honest, and does not let herself be intimidated by the customer:

Customer: Does this suit me?
Clerk: No.

I think that if I could jump back three weeks and start again, the most important thing I would change would be to be careful not to neglect the little things that can keep a person balanced. Taking care of my physical and mental health can be so simple, and yet so easy to forget. This kernel of wisdom has been right before my eyes for months, right on my own pencil case:

SALAD MORNING
Fresh milk and crispy salad
in the morning shower.
Have a relax mind, flexible time
for more healthy life.

But perhaps most important of all, I can’t forget to have a little fun once and a while. Winter break is coming, and a good vacation is can be very healing. I think what I need is to bask for a while in what one student described as "stoner san shine." Maybe I should call my travel agent right now and see about those tickets to Tailand.