A local JET says goodby. |
In an unprecedented move by a town board of education, A local JET was fired from her job last Tuesday for forgetting how to speak English. It is the first such incident in the history of the JET programme.
"Wait, no, it's not that bad! See, I remember!" she said in perfect English as her BOE's office lady emptied her desk into a box. The firing came after reports of the JET making numerous claims that she "just can't remember English anymore," and that she "can't help thinking in Japanese all the time," a condition she called "like, SO annoying."
Her JTEs were nonplussed about the incident. "When I compliment her Japanese, she tells me she never studies, and that she's embarrassed that she can't speak at all. Now if she's forgotten her English, I hope she's going to be OK when she goes back home," her senior JTE said.
Her office was unmoved by her predicament. "I didn't know that was possible, but she says she forgot, so what can we do? She can't teach students something she herself has forgotten. I guess I'm just amazed that a year of Japanese can wipe out twenty-something years of English," her supervisor said.
"Well, when I realized that I was going to start slapping her every time she stuck nanka into an English sentence, I decided it was time to let her go. Besides, she always says she has all these problems because she's 'been in Japan too long.' I guess she needs to go home. I hope she can remember where she lives," the Kyokacho of her Board of Education said.
This incident has sent waves of worry throughout the nation's JET population at ALTs and CIRs alike scrambled to re-embrace their foreignness. This newfound job insecurity has brought on many sudden admissions by embarrassed JETs. Among the most common were that they don't really like J-Pop, the manga visible on the kotatsu are just for show, and they hate sleeping on those damn futons. Said one nervous JET who asked not to be named, "I'm going to stop pretending I like natto."
