Summary: Mildred and Amy find a new hobby
Pairing: M/Sk
Rating: PG-13, humour
Archive: Archive X, Gossamer: anywhere else, please let us know. Thanks
Disclaimer: The usual stuff about Chris Carter, Fox and 1013. Remember, imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

"Mildred?"

"Yes, Amy."

"Do you remember that nice young man who helped us when the truck backed into our car?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, he lives just across from us. In that building."

"Mildred. How would you know... What in heaven's name are you doing with those opera glasses?"

"I was just testing them for tonight's opera. Getting them into focus. But see, it is that nice young man. What was his name again?"

"Skinner. Something Skinner. An old-fashioned name... Yes, indeed, Amy, that certainly is our young man."

"Walter. That's who he is. Walter Skinner. That's what it said on his FBI badge. Remember, you didn't want to talk to him until he showed us his badge."

"Well, it was a reasonable precaution, Amy dear. We'd just moved here and it pays to be a bit wary of strangers. But he was a nice young man. Now, put away those glasses and come help me with the grocery list. It's your nephew coming for supper tonight, and we don't want him to think that two old birds like us can't take care of ourselves."

"Amy!!"

"Oh, heavens, Mildred! Don't do that! you scared me out of ten years! Don't do that!"

"Amy, what are you doing with those field glasses?"

"Just adjusting them for this weekend's birding expedition."

"But why are you checking them in the dark?"

"Well, it might be dark HERE, Mildred, but that window across the way is VERY well-lit."

"Amy, are you looking at that nice young man again?"

"He's not there right now, Mildred. I think he's taking a shower... what are you are doing?"

"Just checking the focus myself. Oh my!"

"What?! What is it?"

"The phone must have rung. He's come out to answer it."

"So? Why did you say 'Oh my' in that tone?"

"Well dear, he doesn't seem to be wearing anything."

"Mildred, give me back my glasses!"

"Just a minute. I'm just making sure they're properly in focus. Wouldn't want to miss this weekend's sighting of the deep-chested bald eagle in all its glory. Eeep! You're strangling me! Let me undo the strap before you break the glasses!"

"Oh my. Dear heavens. You were right. It's a rare sighting, well worth the effort."

"Has he turned around yet?"

"No...no....ohhhhhh yes!!!!"

"Mildred, have you seen our new binoculars?"

"Yes, dear. I'm testing them out right now."

"See anything interesting?"

"Well, so far, Walter's come home, mixed himself a scotch and water on the rocks and taken a shower. He's wearing those nice new slacks he bought himself last week."

"The ones with the pinstripes?"

"Yes."

"Let me see how they fit. Oh... very nice. He does have such nice taste in clothes. But there must be something wrong with the air conditioning. He's not wearing a shirt... oh, he's going to the door. I wonder who's visiting at this time of night?"

"Well, who is it?"

"I can't make out the details. Walter is blocking my view."

"Give the glasses back to me. Maybe I can see. Oh, not bad."

"What? Who is it?"

"I've never seen him before. He looks like a nice young man. Good looking, too. About 6'1", 170 pounds, brown hair, lean build... must be a swimmer... pity about the nose."

"What's wrong with his nose?"

"Well dear, it's not small. But he does have a nice smile, and a lovely lower lip."

"What's he wearing?"

"An old pair of jeans... they must be old, they seem to be a bit small, and they're rather worn in... places. And a nice grey t-shirt."

"What colour are his eyes?"

"I can't tell. These glasses aren't strong enough."

"I told you we should have listened to the clerk and bought the night vision ones. What are they doing now?"

"I can't tell."

"Give me the glasses. It's my turn anyway. Oh my! They seem to be having an argument of some kind. I hope they don't get violent. Oh my... Walter's just grabbed him by the shoulders."

"Are they fighting?"

"I... I... not sure... oh my... no dear, they seem to be... kissing..."

"Let me see! Oh yes, they certainly are. Where are you going?"

"To get the field glasses."

"Amy, how are the night vision glasses working?"

"Very well, Mildred. It's a pity they're so expensive and we could only afford one pair."

"Is it worthwhile pulling out the chairs yet?"

"I'm not sure. The apartment seems rather dark. Oh, wait. The door's opening. My, don't they look sweet in tuxedos. My Henry could never wear a tuxedo like that."

"I know what you mean. My George was the same."

"Not that they don't look good in those business suits, too. It's a pity though about the young one's taste in ties. What was it Walter called him in the grocery store the other day?"

"Some animal thing. Wolf?"

"No, no, something slinkier than that. Started with an F."

"Ferret?"

"Are you sure that was it? It doesn't seem to suit him."

"No, I'm wrong. It was Fox."

"That's right. Remember, you said the name fit, that he was foxy."

"Oh yes, that was when he goosed Walter in the meat department."

"That wasn't very nice of him."

"Walter didn't raise any objections."

"Oh, isn't that nice. Fox is removing Walter's boutonniere... I think now would be a good time to pull out the chairs."

"Why? What are they doing?"

"Well, Walter's taking off Fox's jacket. Oh, and Fox is unbuttoning Walter's shirt."

"My turn. Let me see. Hmmm. That's lovely."

"What? What's lovely?"

"They're kissing and undressing each other at the same time. I do admire competence in a man."

"Get to the point. What can you see?"

"Quite a lot. These glasses were worth every penny. Even in dim light, I can make out the line of Walter's back. And Fox seems to be fascinated with his chest. Oh!"

"Don't stop there! What are they doing now?"

"You were right about Fox being a swimmer, dear. You don't get buns like that from sitting behind a desk all day."

"Let me see. You're right. Not bad. Walter must work out, too. Oh my. They seem to be in a rough mood tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"Walter has just pushed Fox face-first against the wall. But he doesn't seem to be struggling."

"Oh no! He's not hurting him, is he?"

"No, dear, I think it's safe to say they're both enjoying themselves."

"The boys certainly seem to have enjoyed their Christmas holiday."

"Yes. I must say, they seem to be getting along rather well. They hardly went out at all."

"And didn't Fox look nice in that new green sweater Walter gave him?"

"Yes, it matched his eyes. And didn't they light up when Walter gave him that beanie baby fox?"

"Almost as much as Walter's when he opened that first edition of The Red Badge of Courage."

"Yes, Stephen Crane is one my favourites, too."

"Oh look, they're dancing together. Isn't it romantic?"

"Yes, I love the way Fox tucks his face against Walter's neck."

"Mildred, did you see that?"

"Yes, dear, I certainly did. That was definitely a wink. Walter winked in our direction."

"My goodness! Do you think he knows?"

"How could he? He doesn't have the right kind of glasses."

"Wasn't nice of our nephews to give us these telescopes for Christmas?"

NIF

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