WELSAD AWAY IN INDIA FOR 3
MONTHS - He's gone to find enlightenment. Fanny's hoping he'll bring
back Leper slaves. Lydia's hoping he doesn't bring anything else back.
SEGA ANNOUNCE PLANS TO RENAME WELSAD THE HEDGEHOG
AS 'SONIC'
LYDIA SCHMIDIA NEARLY LOSES AN EYE AS FANNY SPOTS ORION'S
BELT
BENJAMIN NEMESIS TREATED FOR POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME
AFTER ACCIDENTAL ASS-GAZING INCIDENT (see Stories for more)
STRIPY JUMPER GIRL DIES IN VEGETABLE TRAGEDY
Mmmm, Tasty!© named in investigation, share prices plummet
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