GREG PARADE
Name:
Greg Parade
Position: Cowgirl, with variations
Date of birth: 1979
Biggest Achievement: Convincing Lydia that I'd quit The Dawn
Parade in the hope of getting my wings, finding a wingman,
becoming a fully fledged ace fighter pilot and going to top gun school
Secret weapon: Mole
Bad habits: Drinking abandoned pints of brown liquid when
broke, always being broke, never sleeping, coffee, sugar, Meatloaf
records, lying when drunk, letting my ego write cheques my body can't
cash, quoting dreadful 80s machismo flicks in public
Quote: "You're born with nothing, and better off that
way" - Bruce Springsteen
Hero: Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen
I would sell my soul for... one more drink on a Saturday night...
so that's about £1-80 in Manchester, £3-50 in London...
I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing... an engagement ring
I’d do anything for Mmmm, Juicy, but I won’t... prise off each
of my fingernails, keep them in vinegar for a period of three to five
months until they're sharp and tough enough to use as kitchen
utensils, sell them to my friends and invest the profits in
e-business, get stinking ugly rich, buy a supermodel wife and three
supermodel kids, move to Rio, have several affairs with the daughters
of exiled criminals, cause much unruliness and unrest, and finally
have to be offed by secret agents from a small Asian nation before the
problem is allowed to spread
When I die, promise you’ll never look.... at a TV screen on a
Friday night ever ever ever again
Hang the blessed DJ because... Mole wants to go home
If
you were Batman who'd be your Robin? Anna Kournikova
If
you were Itchy who'd be your Scratchy? I've been itchy several
times, not least when I got crabs from a freak mutant crab-frog crab
which leapt from the stage to the gents while I was taking a
break from watching miss black america in their early naturist phase
at the Portland arms in Cambridge... Barney was my scratchy back then,
and I was able to return the favour when something similar happened to
him at a jj72 gig just last week
Would
you rather everyone could read your mind, or no one could understand
you? the third one
If
you could invent something what would it be? probably something
very obvious and sincere and corny like a religion I could believe in
or just something time couldn't take away
Do
you believe in hell? as a reference point in the human
imagination, yes... as a place of fire and repentance, no... although
I have been to club Brazillia in Bury St Edmunds recently...
Do
you think you'll end up there? after a few drinks, when there's
nowhere else to go but home, and being such a complete and utter
lightweight and hopeless optimist, very likely...
If
you could add a new word to the dictionary what would it be and what
would it mean? "Euurghh", meaning the general ugly,
bleak, compromised, contradictory, corrupt, salacious mess of life and
human interaction... as in "I’m sick of sitting by this lake
fishing... I’m going to get drunk and get back in the Euurghh if it
kills me"... being part of the Euurghh would be a choice, it
would mean wanting to get your hands dirty and fuck up and forgive and
compromise and cling to what seems pure, and lose it and find it and
get hurt and get beaten and get up and get on with it, it would be
saying Nietzsche's "sacred yes" over and again each day,
seeing that same promise broken every day and still going to work and
drinking too much coffee and just giving a shit about living...
Describe
yourself in 5 words: Obsessive, hard-working, selfish, energetic,
romantic
Favourite song: Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen, for squaring the
circle better than any other song... by that I mean it manages to be
utterly joyous and celebratory without looking away from the reality
it describes
Favourite bands: The Smiths, The E Street Band, Soft Cell, The
Afghan Whigs, The Rolling Stones, Pulp
Favourite TV shows: Brasseye
Favourite films: American Beauty, Watership Down, Life is
Beautiful
Finally,
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