T. RASH
Name:
Thomas Trash
Position: Right attacking-midfield
Date of birth: 21/09/1984
Biggest Achievement: Learning the entire Ghostbusters theme
tune on guitar.
Secret weapon: My ability to talk like a quasi - surfer. Rad!
Bad habits: Internet addiction. Crack.
Quote: 'Busting makes me feel good!' - Ray Parker Jr
Hero: Mum (shucks). Pat Sharpe. Oh and Meatloaf.
I
would sell my soul for...Meatloaf's firm young body.
I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing...My natural hair.
I’d do anything for Mmmm, Juicy, but I won’t...ever again
sleep in a room with Yalson's snoring EVER AGAIN. You see folks,
behind that suave and promisingly effeminate persona that Yalson
projects so effortlessly, there is actually the world's loudest snorer.
Years of turnip abuse has left his septum shot to fuck, meaning that
when Yalson snores the vacuum created is powerful enough to suck in an
entire human man, and deafen those sleeping in countries near him.
When I die, promise you’ll never look....on the 'Animal Love'
section of my hard-drive.
Hang the blessed DJ because...I fancy a kebab.
If you were Batman who would be your Robin? It would have to be
my best friend Nick. The criminals would just give up when they saw
the size of his Mullet.
If you were Itchy who would be your Scratchy? Someone with nice
long fingernails. And a dress. No, not that dress. The red dress.
Would you rather everyone could read your mind, or no one could
understand you? Not many people understand my thick Narfuck accent
as it is, so I'd have to let them read my mind. They'd probably not be
able look at their granparents without vomiting ever again though....
If you could invent something what would it be? A real life
lightsabre. It would break the ice at parties.
Do
you believe in hell?
Whilst Brian Adams is still producing music, the idea retains it's
credibility.
Do you think you'll end up there? Why would I want to go where
Brian Adams is? I purposely avoid his records, concerts and Canada so
I doubt it....
If you could add a new word to the dictionary what would it be and
what would it mean? Cromulent - it would be an adjective to
describe that breakfast crack hit.
Describe yourself in 5 words: Honest, friendly, romantic
crack-whore.
Favourite
song:
Oh nasty, erm here we go: 'Wake up with a Smile' - Consumed, 'The
Decline' - NOFX, 'Citizen Erased' - Muse, 'Lady Liberty' - Rancid,
'Human Punk' - MBA, ' Close Minded' - Vision, 'Marked', ' 21st Century
Digital Boy' and 'The Defense' - Bad Religion, 'Bro Hymn' - Pennywise,
'The Real Ghostbuster's Theme Tune' - Ray Parker Jr, 'Paradise by the
Dashboard Light' - Meatloaf, 'Into the Fire' - The Dawn Parade, 'White
Gold Way' - Terris and countless other songs, in countless different
genres, by countless other bands. Safe!
Favourite bands: Consumed, MBA, Rancid, Dawn Parade, Pennywise,
Bad Religion, NOFX, Antihero, Blue Gandhi, Sick of it All, Muse,
Radiohead, The Exiles etc etc....
Favourite TV shows: Spooks - for shear comic implausibility,
The Day Today - because satire that good is better than Meatloaf (!)
and Rotten Ralph.
Favourite films: Star Wars (all of them), The Matrix, Fight
Club, the Green Mile and anything that makes me think. I'm not a film
buff, but I am a Star Wars geek. Figure.
Finally,
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