ZACH
Name:
Zach
Position: Mmmm, Juicy’s groupie
Date of birth: mind your own beeswax, I’m old enough to be
your grandma
Biggest Achievement: getting the Rotary Club award for service to
the community (I swapped class-A substances with the old folks)
Secret weapon: erm… my mutated foot which scares the shit out
of everyone. Oh and my acid forked tongue, slurp.
Bad habits: smoking, picking my nose, watching too much big
brother, take your pick I’m just a bad boy for life baby. Oh and
saying “intense” too much
Quote: “English men will never be slaves: they are free to do
whatever the Government and public opinion polls allow them to
do.”-George Bernard Shaw
Hero(s): George Bernard Shaw, Lion-o (Thundercats), jimmy
mckendricks, Trent Reznor, Dennis Lyxzén, and of course my mum.
I
would sell my soul for...
you if you really want me to, or in the name of Rock ‘n’ roll.
I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing... a pink tux because they
don’t usually bury people in them. But if I was buried in a pink tux
I would actually like it a little bit.
I would do anything for Mmmm, Juicy, but I won’t... do that.
No really, I wouldn’t burn a book for no one
When I die, promise you’ll never look.... half as bad as I
did.
Hang the blessed DJ because...it's Pete tong. But I wouldn’t
hang DJ Shadow the man is a GOD of the sampler variety.
If you were Bat man who would be your Robin? SCHMID, MY ONE AND ONLY PARTNER IN CRIME
If you were Itchy who would be your Scratchy? Hmm this is the hardest question I guess the Queen because she must get itchy in all those chiffon ball gowns, plus I could scratch her, hopefully her eyes. I think there should be more literally blind monarchs, as opposed to socially blind people.
Would you rather everyone could read your mind, or no one could understand you? You can read my mind. I don’t think you’d like it though I never get bored because my mind is so full of fun.
If you could invent something what would it be? A cow that produced man milk. Milky goodness for all the family.
Do
you believe in hell?
Yeah why am I living?
Do you think you'll end up there? I already am. I live in
Suffolk so I suppose I should say purgatory because it’s so boring.
If you could add a new word to the dictionary what would it be and what would it mean? Willydelphia, knob cheddar, or smegma as most people call it.
Describe
yourself in 5 words: shit at everything but shitting.
Favourite song: roads-portishead.
Favourite bands: the mars Volta, nine-inch nails, Weezer,
reprazent, THE WHO.
Favourite TV shows: big
brother, six feet under, sex tips for girls, Jenny Jones, Montel,
Killroy (killjoy), Wanderlust, Jackass, As if, the antiques road show,
and of course Italian stripping housewives.
Favourite films: Withnail and I, Velvet goldmine, Silence of
the lambs, A clockwork orange, Jack and Sarah, American beauty, The
usual suspects, the wizard of oz, return to Oz, pierced, the URANUS
EXPERIMENT.
Finally,
Would
you rather eat a teaspoonful of your own shit, or a whole baby?
I
honestly don’t mind although the baby is a little unethical and I
don’t think it would be very fair, I’d eat a bit of a baby though,
mmmmtasty. Possible it’s shit but that depends on how old it is. If
it was eating solids then I would probably favour it’s arm instead
of it’s shit.
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