Jasmine spent the entire night staring out the window; patiently waiting for the sun to make it’s delicate approach to the day ahead. She felt that maybe if she saw the sun fight the darkness and win, that victory would instill itself inside of her and give her new hope for the future. The sun rose just like always, but right away thick stubborn clouds that leaked drizzle into her heart masked it. Disappointed, Jasmine shut the shade.
Tom eventually rose and bid Jasmine good morning, but it wasn’t warm and cheerful like she had hoped it would be. He went about his morning rituals independently and before he left for an appointment, he told her there was Cocoa Puffs in the cupboard.
Cereal was definitely a poor substitute for his sunny-side up eggs. Jasmine fought the tears from welling up in her eyes at his departure, and buried herself in the newspaper. Her somber eyes glanced over the job section, and she jotted down a few that looked interesting. Now more than ever she wanted to be able to support herself and be independent. That way no one could hold anything over her head.
She looked up the schedules for the city busses in the area, and found a few routes that would take her to nearby stores.
Just as she was about to head out the door, the phone rang. “Hello?” Jasmine said hurriedly into the receiver.
“Hey. It’s Sarah. So, what happened?”
“I don’t know. Tom, Caly and Jim did the spell for Beth. I- I don’t know what happened. Tom left for work this morning and barely said two words to me.” Saying it loud proved to be too much for Jasmine, and she could no longer fight the tears of despair from running down her cheeks. “Sarah, I don’t know whats going on. I just, don’t know.” She sobbed into the phone.
“Hold on hun, I’m gonna come over okay?” Jasmine was too far-gone for shame to be an issue, so she feebly agreed, and they hung up. She tried desperately to control her sobs as she waited for what seemed like an eternity for Sarah to arrive.
After what seemed like forever but in reality was probably only ten minutes or so, Sarah knocked on the door. Jasmine untangled herself from her curled up ball and let her in. “Hey hun.” She said, giving Jasmine a huge sympathy hug. “How are you doing?”
“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I- I thought he loved me. I thought we were soul mates. But if something this little can make him act cold to me, then maybe I don’t mean anything to him. Maybe,” She paused. “Maybe I’m just a sympathy case. Maybe he just felt sorry for me because no one cared about me, and that’s the only reason he invited me here.”
Sarah embraced Jasmine in a hug again, running her hand lightly over her tousled hair. “Shh, no I know that’s not it. Tom was always lonely and looking for something he didn’t know how to find, but after you two started talking, he changed. He became happier, and more content. He told us how much you meant to him and how much he cares for you. Sometimes he’s not the best at showing it, but I know he does love you.”
Jasmine sniffed in her tears, truly touched by Sarah’s words. “Really?” She squeaked out. Sarah smiled a warm, genuine smile that Jasmine knew couldn’t be false.
“Really.”
The two talked through the better part of the afternoon, and by the time Sarah moved on Jasmine was feeling a lot better. They talked about the scroll and the spell too, and though neither one of them had a good feeling about any of it, they did calm down and try to have understanding for why the boys did it. Sarah knew Beth a lot better than Jasmine did, and she explained to her how Beth operated. She didn’t particularly care for Beth, but even though that girl had a lot of bad behaviors, the others did care about her a great deal and in a way felt like she was their responsibility. Jasmine was willing to forgive the others for what they did, but she hoped with all her heart that what they did wouldn’t lead to badness.
Jasmine was determined to make things right with Tom again. She didn’t end up going to the mall, but she did go down the street to the grocery store and buy some stuff to cook him a great dinner that would be ready when he arrived home. She made baked crispy chicken, homemade mashed potatoes and a corn dish Kara’s mom used to make. It was kind of spicy, but it was also delicious and she hoped that Tom would like it as much as she did.
As if on schedule, Tom walked in the door just when Jasmine was taking out dishes from the oven. He took off his coat, and looked up. “Mm, something smells good.” He said with enthusiasm in his voice. Thrilled by such a simple act of warmness, Jasmine beamed with pride.
“I made us a good, home-cooked meal.” She told him. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve got to start eating healthier.”
“Yeah, I guess I do too.” Tom said, planting himself at the table. Jasmine was just as grateful for being able to serve Tom as he was about getting served, and the two sat down to what she hoped would be a happy meal filled with forgiveness and new beginnings.
“So,” Jasmine said through bites of the corn dish. “How was your day?” Tom glanced over at her, smiling softly with unspoken peace between them.
“Excellent. Made a ton of money. In fact, if this keeps up, we might be able to get a nicer place soon.” Jasmine tilted her head.
“Nicer? You don’t like this place?” True, it was rather small, but it was cozy and lived in, the kind of place where she felt most comfortable after her quick departure from stuffy, magazine-like, ‘don’t touch anything’ surroundings.
“I like it fine, but wouldn’t you like something a little roomier, and nicer?” Jasmine shrugged softly, after all Tom was the one paying the bills right now and she had no right to argue, nor did she want to upset him again when things were still so fragile. Tom eyed her suspiciously.
“You don’t seem very receptive to the idea of moving. If we have the money for something nicer, why stay here?”
Jasmine didn’t want to reopen a can of stale worms, but she couldn’t help herself from making the inevitable statement.
“Well, but what if your newfound computer smarts, don’t last?” Tom’s eyes immediately darkened as the corners of his mouth twitched with annoyance.
“You know, its not like I believed in Sarah’s whole spell-thing either, but at least I’m taking advantage of my good luck here. You’re just acting like whatever’s happening to all of us is something bad, and I’m not seeing the downfall here. What’s up with that?”
Jasmine set her fork down and looked away, gulping uncomfortably. “It’s just that we don’t know why all of this is happening. It’s not good to go into things blind. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Whatever.” Tom looked away, annoyance and disappointment flashing in his eyes. Jasmine cringed. God, what was her problem? She always had to ruin things for everyone else. She always had to start a fight when things were peaceful. No wonder she was unpopular at home. Now, hundreds of miles away, that hadn’t changed. They’d all grow to hate her too, unless she learned to shut up and go with the flow. Against her better judgement, she shut her eyes temporarily and begged her mind to toss at her an intelligent subject-changing sentence.
After they were done eating, Jasmine stood up and began to clear the dishes. Tom glanced over at her. “I can do the dishes tonight.” He offered softly.
“No. You’re the one working right now, and I’ve got to pull my weight somehow.” She meant that as a respectful statement, but instead it came out rather sarcastic, almost mocking him. She cringed, but he didn’t seem to notice. Maybe it was all in her head.
A knock on the door thankfully interrupted the uncomfortable silence, and Jasmine quickly wiped her hands on a dishtowel and leaped forward to answer it. “Jim.” She said with mild surprise as the enthusiastic blond bound inside.
“Hey.” He responded, a huge smile spread across his face. Jasmine raised an eyebrow.
“You seem exited.” She observed, thoughtful and eager to hear what was the cause of his apparent happiness. They could definitely use some interesting news to take all their minds off of the scroll and it’s effects. Maybe it had to do with Sarah, Jasmine thought hopefully.
“Went boxing at the gym today, and totally kicked all the guy’s butt’s without even trying. I mean it was so easy!” Jasmine inwardly heaved with disappointment. Now here they were, right back to the subject that always seemed to bring about fights. Remembering her frustration with herself during dinner, she chose to not say anything back, only nod and give a fake smile of happiness for him. Biting her lower lip, she then turned away so he wouldn’t see the discontent and concern she could never hide from her revealing eyes.
Tom patted Jim on the back in approval. “And as for me, I totally kicked butt on the computers all day. I’m gonna be rich at this rate!” The boys gave each other a characteristic male high-five, ignoring Jasmine, which was fine with her for the moment. But she did need to talk to Sarah. Trying again to talk to the boys and make them come to their senses now would be a waste of her time, and it would cause nothing but more fights.
“I think a game’s on.” Tom informed Jim, who leaped onto the couch the moment the words left his friend’s mouth.
“Hell yeah. Got any pizza rolls?” Tom laughed wryly, then paused, looking over to Jasmine.
“You don’t mind if we have a guys-night tonight, do you?” Jasmine shifted uncomfortably. Where did he expect her to go? She barely knew anyone in town and with his was where she was staying. Feeling his eyes on her, she winced, feeling completely uncomfortable, and a burden. Some things never changed, did they.
“That’s fine. I’ll just ..” She racked her mind for an excuse, but seeing as how she had no car and no friends except the ‘gang,’ nothing intelligent came to her.
“Well hey,” Jim turned to her. “I was kinda supposed to hang with Sarah tonight, unofficially, and if we’re having a guy’s night I might as well invite Caly. So why don’t you three girls do something, have a girl’s night?”
“Um, okay.” Jasmine answered quietly, trying desperately to shove down that lump in her throat. Always getting pushed aside. Just like a home. Her parents, always having fancy dinners and rich adult get-togethers, thinking that by giving her a twenty and telling her to go out with Kara, they were being generous. Didn’t anyone get she just wanted to be loved? She just wanted to be a part of someone’s life that didn’t include the unspoken word they were always thinking? Burden.
Blinking, Jasmine realized she’d gotten lost in her own downward spiral of thoughts again, and Tom and Jim were both staring at her. Nervous digits fiddled with the bottom of her shirt, her eyes lowered in unconscious insecurity.
“Um, yeah. I’ll see.” Shuffling into the kitchen, Jasmine tried desperately to blink away the tears from forming on the corners of her eyes. She was angry with herself for showing emotion; for making it obvious that their request hurt her feelings. In all rationality, it shouldn’t have. They were just boys, wanting to watch a game. So why did she feel like she was being put out? Why was this such a vivid reminder of the past she was so desperate to get away from?
Hands encircled Jasmine’s shoulders, and she leapt in surprise, squealing. Whirling around, her heart immediately began to stop pacing once she realized it was Tom. “You scared me.” She tried to explain.
“Sorry.” He paused. “Look, I know you’re upset. I can send Jim home tonight, and we can just hang, the two of us. I know things have been rocky the past few days. How does that sound.” Jasmine looked away.
“No.” She responded quietly, even though she really wanted to say yes. “I’ve got issues, but it’s not your problem. Go, have fun with the guys.” Tom carefully raised a finger, gently wiping a stray tear from Jasmine’s damp cheek.
“We’ve all got issues. But we do need to spend more time together, and I’ll be honest, I’d rather spend tonight with you.” Jasmine gulped softly.
“Are-are you sure? I don’t want to put Jim out…”
“You’re not putting anyone out. He’ll understand.” Jasmine nodded slowly, unable to continue her protesting. Tom embraced her in a hug, and she felt all her stress drain from her body as she slumped against him, letting him support her. She needed his support, his love. That’s why she came here.
A moment later, Tom pulled back from the hug and regarded Jasmine thoughtfully. “I’ll be right back honey.” Touching her chin lightly with his index finger, he looked into her eyes for a brief moment before turning around and heading back into the living room. Jasmine stayed rooted in the kitchen, but she accidentally allowed her ears to wander.
“Ah, gotta call off the guys night tonight. Jasmine’s kinda upset and I want to be there for her.” Jasmine couldn’t see, but she’d bet that Jim was scowling, based on his response.
“Dude, don’t get me wrong, I mean I like the chick and all, but she’s kind of playing you, being all possessive-like.” Jasmine’s jaw dropped. What a rude thing to say! But, was there some truth at the core of it?
“No, she’s not. You don’t get it, and what’s up with that anyway? At least I don’t ignore my chick.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Hello? You know Sarah’s totally nuts about you and it’s not like you could care less nine tenths of the time.”
“Hey, I like Sarah, just not in that way. And she’s not my chick.”
“Whatever. You don’t deal with issues like that, you just ignore them and hope they go away. That’s not how it works.”
“Dude, you’re really pissing me off. Quit spouting about things you don’t know about.”
“Oh, don’t I? You know how many times Sarah’s cried over you? Not like you’d notice or care. Even as a friend, you should care.”
“I don’t need to sit here and listen to this bull!” Jim shouted, making Jasmine shiver. She did it again. Because of her, other people were fighting. She was like a disease.
“Then don’t! Get out of here, and come back when you grow a brain!” Tom quipped back angrily.
“Screw this!” Jim responded, thundering towards the door and slamming it with shattering force behind him. Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut.
Tom immediately rushed over to her, concern wild in his eyes. “Hey,” He said softly, hugging her again. “Don’t pay any attention to that. I don’t know what got into him, he’s never usually like that.” Jasmine sniffed, resting her head briefly on his defined shoulder, a comfort she knew she didn’t really deserve.
“I’m sorry.” She resigned softly, hoping that fate would forgive her for being who she was. Tom pulled back from her slightly, eyeing her with sympathy and slight confusion.
“Sorry, about what?” Jasmine looked down.
“About, all of this. If I wasn’t here, none of this fighting would be happening.” Tom hugged her close again, sighing.
“It’s not your fault. It’s like that whole ‘Yoko-factor’ thing. You’re here, but that doesn’t make any of this your fault. We’re the ones fighting, it has nothing to do with you.
“Jim sounded pretty angry. Was it because of what you said about Sarah?”
“That’s always been a touchy subject, but he doesn’t usually let his temper off like that. Guess he was having a bad day.”
“No he wasn’t ..he was saying just a few minutes before that how he was so happy about his performance at the gym.” Tom blinked, as if silently considering Jasmine’s observation.
“Good point. I don’t know what got into him then.” Jasmine had a suspicious thought, but she didn’t dare say it. Aggression would sensibly tie into his increasing strength, all tying into that scroll and the spells. But that had gotten her into enough trouble, and she was teetering on the edge of her sane-o-meter as it was. Instead, she kept silent, and allowed Tom to hold her close.