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Straight From the
Stalls of the Bathroom
There’s TP Attached to What? Well, Now it’s a Trend That's Not Supposed to be in the Toilet! Amuse Your Inner
Vandal
Mom Doesn't Like this Band? TURN EM UP! Wonder What These Guys Sound Like With Bass Cranked... Stuff to Either See, or to Make Out to Stuff That Can Be
Done With Spray Paint
Roses are Red, Blood is Too... And This One Time...At Band Camp... The Cops Are Hunting Us Down
For These Ones
Yeah, Ok, We're Ripping off Letterman Use These When Appropriate...Which Can Be Any Time You
Want This Shit Amused Us, Let it Amuse You Too Our Little Demented Comic…Isn’t it Cute in a Psychopathic
Way?
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This Month’s Editorial: Growing Up Vs. Growing
Old: I Wanna Stay a Toys ‘r Us Kid Rattles and your security blanket. Your little ride on
car and your rocking horse. Crayons and coloring books (or the wall, if you
were cheeky). G.I. Joes or Barbie dolls. A new bike or scooter. Cars and
dating. Frat or sorority parties. Bills and stress. Then you die. Remember
all the stuff we amused ourselves with in the years that we grew older? We
started out with the simplest toys, then progress into the older years, where
playing with toys of any kind (sexual ones aside, heheheh) makes you
childish. And according to society, that’s a bad thing. Well, it was until
now. We’ve
all read the t-shirt in Hot Topic that says: “Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up is optional.” Either that or we’ve heard it somewhere before,
right? Right. And who really pays attention to what it means, besides the
fact it makes you chuckle when reading it? I didn’t think you did…but I do,
every time I read it. I love that saying. Because in some cases, it’s true
and it works. According
to society, it’s unacceptable for an “adult” to act in a childish manner. If
say, an adult were to spit their drink out of their nose at a dinner party,
that’s considered an outcast of society. It’s completely unheard of for an
adult to act that way, right? But when a child of say, 2 does it, it’s
hilarious (even though you want so badly to laugh when it happens, you
can’t), am I right? So exactly why is it O.K. for a child to act that way,
but not an adult? Most people would fire back to that with, “well, a child
doesn’t know better, but an adult does.” Are you really sure? Yeah, O.K.
Adults do know better…I guess…but why does society do this to people? Why do
they try to keep adults from being the kids at heart they really are? I’m not
here to provide you with facts or statistics about this, this is my opinion
here. I think it’s completely idiotic for society to be so hard on keeping
people a certain way. What
do I really mean with all of this? I’m sticking up for the adults who, like
me, want to break away from the restrictions of society and stay who they
really are; kids at heart. The adults who don’t really want to be stiff,
proper individuals (no offense to those who are like this) who act right all
the time and learn to steer clear of what really makes us smile. A lot of
adults leave their childhood pastimes where they “belong”- in the past. Those
small, simple little things you do to amuse yourself when mom was sick of you
being around. Like the neighborhood kickball game that lasted from lunch
until you had to go in, the game of tag that everyone cheated in, but no one
really cared. The shiny new bike you so wanted to show off to all your
friends. Stuff like that adults totally leave behind in their pasts. Why
exactly is that? Why do adults feel they have to bury the smallest, yet most
significant things from their past that left them happy? Society. Boy we all
know society sucks. God forbid an adult bring some Legos to play with on
their lunch break to help them unwind…if someone does that, they’re instantly
an outcast. Toys to adults are computers, cell phones, beepers, cars…stuff
that actually cause stress and annoyance. For
example, computers. You buy one one week, by the next week it’s all ready out
dated. Or it crashes. Or it just pisses you off. Now, tell me, did crayons
and paper ever get outdated or crash? Nooo. Did your legos ever get outdated?
Noo. The ones you had when you were 4 can STILL connect right to the ones you
bought your 4 year old son to play with. Did you know that? I bet not.
Lincoln logs? Notice how you can still buy them now? What’s that tell you?
Stuff that we leave behind in our pasts don’t have to stay there. They can grow with us. See what annoys me all the time,
parents, adults, they always tell me, “Isn’t it about time that you grew up?
Act more like your age!” What exactly does a 19 year old do? Go to college.
Check. Go to work? Check. Party? Erm, check? That’s what a 19 year old does.
And I think I’ve got a pretty good head on my shoulders. I’ve been working
since I was 15, I’m putting myself through school, and I don’t really party.
So exactly, what is my age? I think adults want kids to grow up too fast, but
they cry at stuff, “Oh, my baby’s so big! Where did all the time go??” Um,
hello. You made us grow up too fast. They got to decide when we were too old
for our toys. They got to decide what we were and weren’t allowed to have
anymore. Well, dammit, I’m not ready to grow up yet. I’m not ready to strap
on a seersucker, pinstripe suit, high heels that leave blisters on my feet
after 5 minutes, tote around a 9 foot briefcase everyday and sit behind a
desk, pushing papers for 9 hours or more a day. I’m not ready to see the
world for what everyone has made it into, a mess. I’m not ready for the evil
society to mold me into another adult clone, like we see a lot of the time
now. Piss on that. Yes, I have to grow old physically. That can’t be helped.
(well, it seems that it can now with all this plastic surgery crap) But who’s
to say we have to grow up? I’m going to keep hold of my coloring books, my
crayons, my legos…and when life gets me down, I’m going to color, the way I
used to when I was a little girl. I’m going to build all kinds of things with
my legos and I’m not going to care one bit. My childhood toys helped make me
who I am, I’m not about to let them go because some moronic adult in this
world thinks they’re too “childish” for me to have. I’m going to grow old,
yes, but I’ll be damned if I’m growing up before I have to. And I will decide
when that time will come, not some silly adult. Oh, wait…won’t I be that
silly adult? Oh well, who cares. As long as I enjoy this short time on this
planet, I will be. * Skribble * |
