One more cut
What harm can it do?
I keep telling myself
Its just a temporary entertainment
Though a sick one
Nothing too bad can come of it
Just the usual routine
But the number increases
Two more cuts
Then three
Four
Five more
How much is too much?
Slowly inching closer and closer to my wrist in thoughts
Curious to see what will happen
Its not attempted suicide
Just curiosity
Curiosity brought up from knawing pain and head pounding confusion
Just one more cut
Then maybe someone will finally realize just how much i hurt
Just one more
Amber
Regret
The cold steel
feels so right
within my grasp
as I part my flesh
shrredding it
tearing it down
letting it out
bleeding it free
the pain
the sorrow
the constant regret
the cold steel
is my only friend
my constant companion
as I let the blood flow
from old wounds
ripped open once more
to ease my mind
of everything and everyone
Shannon Every Time:
Every time you look at me
A smile creeps across my face
Every time you look at me
My heart begins to race
Every time you look at me
My feelings take control
Every time you look at me
I'm not just playing a role
Every time you look at me
I'm happy I exist
Every time you look at me
I know I'm number one on your list
Every time you touch me
I know you really care
Every time you touch me
I know you'll always be there
Every time you touch me
There's no need for us to stall
Every time you touch me
I know you'll catch me if I fall
Every tim eyou touch me
I get chills up and down my spine
Every time you touch me
I know you'll always be mine
Every time you talk to me
I focus in on you
Every time you talk to me
My insides feel like a zoo
Every time you talk to me
I know I mean more than just a kiss
Every time you talk to me
I hope it always stays like this
Every time you talk to me
You catch every little hint
Every time you talk to me
I actually feel important
Every time
I love you
Every time
But
Every time you mention her
My heart begins to freeze
Every time you mention her
I feel you're just a tease
Every time you mention her
I have lost my soul
Every time you mention her
I lose all self-control
Every time you mention her
I feel like I don't matter at all
Every time you mention her
I know your heart will fall
Every time you look at her
It's almost more than I can take
Every time you look at her
My hearts about to break
Every time you look at her
I feel like I mean nothing to you
Every time you look at her
It doesn't matter what I do
Every time you look at her
I slowly die inside
Every time you look at her
I feel like I've just cried
Every time you talk to her
I have to turn away
Every time you talk to he
r There's no purpose for me to stay
Every time you talk to her
Our love just disappears
Every time you talk to her
My joy turns into tears
Every time you talk to her
I yearn to slice my skin
Every time you talk to her
I have to grab that pin
Every time
I still love you
Every time
But do you love me too?
Every time
Alyssa
This is Goodbye
I'm sick of the pain
I'm sick of the lies
I'm so friggen tired
I'm tired of trying
I'm tired of screaming
I'm tired of crying
I'm done with the hurt
I'm done with the trying
I'm done with my life
I'm finally dying
I don't mean to hurt you
By slitting my wrists
But I need to leave now
And kiss death on the lips
Now I won't have to suffer
It's just for the best
I'm sorry to say
That I failed life's test
I really will miss you
Those who truly loved me
But now I must go
It's my time to leave
I'm sorry for the trouble
I put all of you through
That's another reason
That now I must leave you
So I'm leaving now
I love you all
And when you find me dead
Don't let a single tear fall
For I'll always be with you
Deep down in your heart
So we never can be
Honestly apart
As I pick up this knife
And slit the skin
As I drown in my blood
Committing this sin
Just go on with your life
Remember my mask
Look ahead to the future
Don't dwell on the past
I'll finally be happy
As happy as can be
I won't be dead inside
I'll finally be free
No one will be able
To hurt me deep inside
And soon it won't matter
How many tears I cried
I'll never have to feel
This pain that's deep within
I won't have to hurt myself
By mutilating my skin
So you should be happy
That I found this sanctuary
All these burdens on my back
I'll no longer have to carry
The hurt is almost gone
I'm almost rid of this pain
Through my death
Many things you will gain
You won't have to worry
About the pain that I feel
You won't have to debate
If my feelings are real
Tell my love I still love him
The one who means everything to me
But he needs to move on
So I'll let his heart free
So as I lay here dying
I just want you to know
That I'll love you guys
Even after I go
So these are my final words
As I lay here and die
I love you all
And this is good-bye
Alyssa
Pamper me with Paim
Pamper me with pain.
Tempt me with a razor.
Massage my skin with a blade.
Caress me with a pin.
Bathe me in needles.
Wash me with my blood.
Pamper me with pain.
Dress me in deceit.
Lay me in a bed of thorns.
Cover me with lies.
Make me dream of sorrow.
Pamper me with pain.
Alyssa
Physical Love
I always thought
That when I said I needed
Physical love
I meant
Hugs
Kisses
Holding hands
Being held
Being wanted
But right now
The physical love
I need
Is physical pain
Sharp objects
Love my body
They love
To slice my skin
Pain is my lover.
My life long companion.
Pain will stay with me
Forever.
And I accept that
And I need that
So give me
The physical pain
That I love
And need
And that loves
And needs
Me back
Alyssa
Hollow
I'm afraid.
I'm afraid you'll see me.
-afraid you'll look into my eyes and see me.
See that I'm not there.
Feel that I'm hollow.
Hear the dead silence in my eyes.
Realize that i only live in the echo of my pain.
But then again-
No one can see my tears in the rain
Lizzie
Crimson Tears
The tears that don't run down my cheeks-
but down my arms or wrists.
The red tears,
the real tears.
the tears that say what I can't,
and feel what I don't.
They drop one by one on the cold tile
of the bathroom stall.
And they remind me I won't float away-
because I feel them,
and they prove that I'm real.
Lizzie
Who will cry for the little girl
There's a little girl inside me
who crys out to be heard.
A little girl alone in the dark
hidden from the world.
She wants someone to hold her,
and wipe away her tears.
Someone to understand the pain
and kiss away her fears.
I tell the girl thats not the way,
but I can not pursway her.
She crys and screams inside of me,
and begs me for the razor.
Lizzie