Chapter 14
Brianna stumbled onto the bus; she was beginning to feel sick again. She could hear JC and Melinda in the back room. She slipped onto one of the benches in the kitchen and put her head on the table. The door of the bus banged open a little while later but she wasn’t paying much attention to it. Someone sat across from her. She lifted her head up slowly as the bus started moving.
“Are you ok?” Justin asked.
“I’m fine.”
“You keep saying that but I’m finding it harder and harder to believe you.” She shrugged.
“Have you eaten today?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“I didn’t ask if you were hungry, I asked if you ate today.” She didn’t answer. “Did you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Well, did you?”
“No.”
“You haven’t eaten ANYTHING yet?!”
She shivered at his shout.
Justin ran his hand through his hair and swore silently to himself. “I’m sorry. I just thought you would be a little smarter than that.” She nodded. “I mean, if we plan on keeping you on this tour, you’re going to have to take care of yourself.”
Her head shot up.
He couldn’t help his smile when he saw her hopeful face. “Yeah, you can stay on the tour if you want.”
The corners of her mouth twitched up in a small smile.
“Now how about we get some food? We’re going to stop at the nearest restaurant.”
She nodded and looked out the window. He started to get up. “Thanks Justin.”
“No problem. Do you- do you want to come watch a movie with us in the back room?” She thought it over in her head then looked up to him. He smiled when he saw a little twinkle in them. “I’d like that.”
It was only 2 o’clock when everyone was back on the bus but it felt much later. She really hadn’t wanted to eat but Justin made her. He even made everyone stop at Subway so she could eat at least a halfway decent meal. Everyone complained but he ignored them and said they all should be eating healthier anyway.
She had been extremely jumpy and quiet while they all waited impatiently to get their food, only speaking when spoken to. No one was really used to that and she knew she was making them feel uneasy but she really couldn’t help it. They had brought their food onto the bus and Justin made sure to keep his distance for her. She sat down at the kitchen table and he sat across from her. She picked at the sandwich boredly, her appetite completely gone.
Justin eyed her from across the table. When she looked up, she couldn’t help the blush and small smile creep over her facial expressions. He raised his eyebrows and nodded towards her food, a small, crooked smile on his own face. Sighing deeply, she picked up the sandwich and took a small bite out of it. She gave him an unhappy look. Justin laughed.
“You act as if I’m making you eat dog shit.”
She swallowed. “You are SO not helping.”
They ate for a few more minutes, making comments occasionally. Justin was glad she was finally starting to act a little normal around him. She was defiantly not her old self but this was a major improvement. He was really enjoying her company before the rest of the guys came on the bus. They were all laughing and joking around as they swung their bags around. JC and Lance squeezed in next to Justin and to her horror, Chris sat next to her. Joey pulled out a folding chair out from the side of the bus. Justin looked at them strangely.
“What are you guys doing?”
Chris glared at him with a ‘what the hell are you talking about’ sort of look. “Uh… eating.”
“Why aren’t you guys on your bus? Aren’t we leaving?”
“Everyone on the tour has to eat. It’s going to take at least half an hour before we’re all ready to go. They’ll send someone to get us when they’re ready to get going.”
Brianna scooted further away from Chris until she was squished against the wall. Chris smiled smugly. Justin glared at him from across the table but Chris acted like he didn’t see him. Brianna had visibly tensed and was completely closed off from the group. Justin couldn’t help feel anger towards him. He couldn’t blame Chris for acting the way he was because he still hadn’t told him, only JC and Melinda. But he still should know better than to treat ANYONE the way he has. He himself had been treating her badly and God knows he felt absolutely horrible because of it.
Brianna picked at her sandwich again; she had only eaten half of it. Her eyes wandered up to Justin, she had expected him to be watching her, but he was completely engrossed in Chris. She knew he was angry from the way his jaw tensed and relaxed, everyone at the table knew he was angry.
“Uh… Justin?” Lance started.
“What?” he snapped.
“Do you want us to leave?”
Justin took his eyes off Chris long enough to look at Brianna. She looked down then out the window.
“Maybe I don’t want to leave,” Chris said. He nudged Brianna. “I’m sure Princess wants me to stay right here.”
Justin was about to make a rude remark but he seemed to think better of it and instead just smiled at Chris.
“Whoever said you had to?” Chris looked at him strangely. “Uh…”
“Well Chris? I mean, I know you just love being the center of attention and everything and I’m sure you enjoy terrorizing little children and stuff, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask if you would just lay off Brianna for a little bit ok?”
Chris opened and shut his mouth, confused by how kind his voice sounded.
Justin smiled and nodded his head at Chris as he spoke. “Ok?”
He still looked confused but he nodded and continued eating his lunch. Justin looked over at Brianna. She closed her eyes and opened them slowly before stared out the window. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking from her expression. The other four guys went back to their normal conversations but Justin stayed silent while Brianna picked at her sandwich for some time. Finally, she pushed it away.
She turned in her seat to get up. “Excuse me.”
Chris looked over at her but didn’t move.
“Brianna, why don’t you finish your lunch?” Justin asked, speaking as more of a statement than a question.
“I-I’m not hungry anymore.”
Chris smiled at Justin. “Let her go if she wants.”
“You don’t understand Chris.”
“What don’t I understand Justin?”
“You… You…” He looked to Brianna. Her eyes pleaded with him.
“Just let me deal with this. Please?” Chris went to say something but stopped when he saw Justin’s face. He leaned back in his seat.
“Yeah… I need to use the bathroom anyway. Anyone wanna go for a walk?” The guys all got the hint and they got of the bus, leaving Justin and Brianna alone.
She swallowed hard. “I-I’m uh… going to the… uh…”
Justin ran his hand through his hair. “Brianna, I don’t want to be the big, bad wolf here, but if you don’t eat you’re going to get sick and end up in the hospital. Again.”
She sighed and leaned back in her seat. “I know.” She finished eating in silence. Cleaning up her mess, she started towards the back room. She pulled herself into her bunk and curled up in a blanket, not daring to close her eyes until she heard Justin get off the bus. Even in her solitude, she didn’t allow herself the comfort of tears. She felt like falling apart but she just bit her lip and held her emotions back.
She flopped around in her bunk, trying to get comfortable. The pain was eating her up alive, she had just taken the pills a few minutes before. Her head throbbed and her stomach hurt whenever she breathed too deeply. She knew she had a fever and was coming down with a cold but she wasn’t going to tell anyone; that would be even more of a reason to keep her away from all the action. She needed that action, she needed to take her mind off everything and this was the only way she could think of doing it.
She shivered and pulled her covers up higher. All she wanted to do right then was keep warm. She heard JC and Melinda get on the bus a little while later, followed closely by Justin. Closing her eyes, she hoped she would be able to fall asleep; they had a long drive ahead of them.
The concert that night went as normal as she possible could have hoped. They arrived at the venue on time and she did her job like she would any other day, trying her best to ignore the stares she was getting from everyone. Even people she didn’t know looked at her strangely.
Justin and Chris were still at each other’s throats but they put on a great act for the audience. She wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the two of them and she was feeling horrible about the fact that she caused the two best friends to fight like they were.
She sighed loudly as she waited for the elevator. Everyone except her and Justin were going out to a club. He said he was staying because he was too young but they both knew he could get in anywhere. She was on her way downstairs to get something to drink from the gift shop when someone pulled her into a nearby room. Her mind immediately assumed the worse and panic flooded over her. Opening her mouth to scream, she felt a hand clamp over her mouth. The person behind her flipped her around. She calmed down a little when she saw Chris blocking the door.
“What are ya doin’?” she asked softly.
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“I really don’t care. Sit.” She knew there was no way to get out of this so she did as she was told. He sat down on the opposite bed from her.
“What do ya want to talk about?” He didn’t answer. She lifted her head to see him studying her.
“How’d you get that cut on your head?”
She started to stand up. “I don’t want to talk about this.” He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down. She tensed up and ripped her hand away from him but she sat back down.
“I’m not letting you leave until you tell me.”
“Justin will come looking for me eventually.”
“Nope. Joey just called him and told him you were going with him for coffee.”
“At one in the morning?”
Chris shrugged. “He bought it.”
Brianna lulled everything over in her head.
“Are you going to talk?” He asked once again.
She bit her lip. “I guess…”
“How’d you get that cut on your head?”
She laughed bitterly. “The first or second time?”
“Both.”
“The first time I fell and hit my head on the bed and-“
“Did Justin do it?”
“I-He…” She thought about it for a second. “Not on purpose…”
“But he did do it?”
“Yeah but-“
“And the second time?”
“I uh… fell in an alley.”
“You don’t get banged up like that from falling in an alley.” She shrugged. “You’re not telling me the whole story.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do. Why do you have a bandage on your stomach?”
“How do ya-“
“Your tank top lifted up when you were reaching to get something off a shelf in my dressing room.”
“But I thought I was…”
“Alone?” She looked at him strangely. “Well…?” he asked.
“Well what?”
“Your stomach.”
“I um… Got cut.”
“With what?”
“Uh…” She looked around the room, trying to think of a believable lie.
“Brianna.” Her eyes snapped back to his. “I want the truth.”
She sighed deeply and considered her options in her head. Finally, she agreed. Chris could see her closing up the second she started the story. Her eyes glazed over and stared blankly at the carpet.
“A-A…”
“Alex?”
She cleared her throat. “Yeah. Al… He… Um… Well, we were goin’ out for a while, well, a long while, and he did some stupid stuff, I let him do it… Then I broke it off. Basically, to make a long story short, he still thinks we’re dating.”
“And?”
“And he keeps coming back to me… No matter where I am… He somehow finds me…”
“So he hurt you?”
She shifted uncomfortably and looked everywhere but in his eyes. “Um… Yeah… I guess…”
Chris was quiet, she risked a look at him and was glad his head was down in deep thought. “So… All this time… You weren’t cheating on Justin?”
She fiddled with her shirt. “No…”
“Then why did you leave us to believe that you were?”
“I didn’t! I mean… I tried so hard to tell ya that I didn’t but you all didn’t believe me and… and….” Her breathing quickened immensely and he could tell she was going to do one of her panic attack things again if he didn’t calm her down. He moved over to her bed and went to put his arm around her but she moved away.
“Please… don’t…” He backed off to give her some space.
“Brianna?” She didn’t look at him. “Bri, look at me.” When she still didn’t turn around, he took her chin in his fingers and forced her to look at him. “Listen to me.” She stared at him, her eyes blank and tired.
“I…” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “I forgive you.”
He looked at her in shock and pulled his fingers away from her. “What?”
“I said I forgive you.”
“But, after everything I said and did to you… you still…?”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
She shrugged. “I understand. You thought I hurt your best friend and you were just trying to protect him in the only way you knew how.”
“Yeah but… I still shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.”
“I know. But you did, and there’s nothin’ we can do to change that.” He laughed a little and smiled genuinely at her for the first time in days.
“Thank you. You really cleared a lot of things up. I still have a LOT of questions… but I don’t want to press you for them.”
“Thanks. Um… I better get back to Justin.”
“Oh right. I’m sorry again.”
“Forget about it. Really.” She stood up to leave and Chris walked her to the door.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Bri.”
“Yeah… Tomorrow.” She walked into the hall and saw Justin just getting into their room with two Pepsi’s. He glared at Chris as he shut the door. Brianna walked up to the door and waited for Justin to open it.
“What was that about?”
“Oh nothing…” She smiled and brushed past him to get into their room. He looked back at Chris’s closed door, shook his head, then followed her.
The next few days went alone without too much attention. Chris had talked to Justin and they were back on speaking terms. Joey came to her the next day and apologized. She forgave him as easily as she forgave Chris. They still were still very uneasy around her but they were acting with a little more normalcy each day. She still hadn’t opened up to Justin completely and she knew she was driving him nuts with her mood swings but she couldn’t help that. She was mad at him but at the same time she felt this strange need to be near him, and whenever she was, she felt safe like no one could hurt her as long as he was there.
Justin leaned against his dressing room doorway, watching her on her laptop. She was starting to look a little flustered. He had tried to keep her from too much stress but she seemed like she needed at least some to keep her life as normal as she could. He smiled when she groaned in frustration and leaned back.
“Hey,” he said. She jumped and held her hand to her heart.
“Oh my God… You scared the hell outta me!”
He smiled slightly. “Um… sorry.”
“It’s ok.” She went back to her laptop.
“Are you ok?”
She groaned. It was about the millionth time he had asked her that all day. “I’m fine Justin,” she grumbled irritably.
“Ok… I was just checking.” She didn’t say anything. “Are you going to watch the concert?”
“I’m here aren’t I?”
“Yeah… But you look… I dunno, upset.”
“Have I missed one yet?”
He sighed. She was obviously in a bad mood and all her anger was once again directed towards him.
“Alright, well I gotta go to sound check. Feel free to use my dressing room as long as you want. I’ll try to check up on you before the show starts.”
“Yes mother hen.” He rolled his eyes and left the room. She sighed deeply. She felt bad for treating him that way when he was just trying to help but she couldn’t help her emotions and the words that came out of her mouth when he was around.
Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she saved her work and shut the computer down, then lay on the couch. She didn’t plan on it but she was asleep before she knew it.
“Hey Brianna?” Justin asked as he walked back in his dressing room. He stopped when he saw her sleeping peacefully. He smiled warmly at her sleeping form and put his jacket over her to keep her warm. She snuggled into it. He turned the light off on his way out.
Two hours later the guys were ready to go on stage. Justin ran backstage to his dressing room to wake Brianna up. His smile faded when he saw her flopping around in the dark. He moved quickly to wake her up.
“Bri… Brianna… Wake up hunny…” He shook her softly.
She moaned and pushed his hands away. “No… Alex don’t!” she screamed.
Justin jumped at the sound of her voice. He shook her a little more forcefully. “Brianna!” She sat straight up, just missing Justin’s head. Her breathing was fast and shaky.
“Shhh… It’s ok now…” She turned to Justin and could feel the panic creeping over her. She opened and closed her mouth to speak but nothing came out.
He pulled her to him and was amazed when she tried to move closer.
He rocked her back and forth in his arms. “Shhh… It was just a dream. Everything’s ok now.” He rubbed her back slowly, not only to comfort her but to check her breathing too. He looked up to see Rob staring at them in shock. Justin mouthed to him to get her pills and nodded his head towards his bag. Rob understood and got them out, handing them to Justin. He knew they needed some time so he stood outside the door. Justin grabbed his open water bottle off the table.
“Bri? You need to take these.” She didn’t answer. “Brianna?” She lifted her head and took the pills. Leaning back on the couch, she waited silently for everything to go away. He held his hand out to her. She stared at it for a long time before she took it. He rubbed his thumb over her hand gently. She lay back against his and chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
“Everything’s ok now. I’m here…” She sniffled and nodded.
“Justin?” Rob asked from the door. He pointed to his watch.
“Bri, I-“
He didn’t have to say anything. She stood up and he nearly smiled when he felt her hand slide down his arm and slip into his. He led her down the hallways, Rob right behind them.
“Justin! Where’ve you been?” Jc screamed. He stopped when he saw Brianna’s distressed look. Justin licked his lips and apologized to the guys and the stage managers. He took both of her hands and looked into her eyes.
“Are you gonna be ok?”
She nodded and attempted a smile. “I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “You say that so much it lost its meaning.”
She smiled slightly. “Just go out there and make all those hormonal 12 year old girls scream…” He flashed her that smile that always made her heart melt and kissed her forehead sweetly before he ran off with the guys. She watched him go then followed Rob to her seats.
The next two weeks passed along quickly for Brianna and Justin. He was happy beyond words with her progress. Her nightmares decreased dramatically. She had only one more minor attack, she was smiling a lot more, and to top it all off, she was back to acting almost completely normal with him.
The two had decided to stay at the hotel that night while everyone else went out to the club. They had ordered a bunch of movies, got a lot of junk food, and got everything to make sundaes. Brianna laughed happily as they walked down the hallway hand in hand. Justin chuckled with her; her laugh was the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He opened the door to their room and they stepped through. Justin looked over the list of possible movies while Brianna pulled out a carton of ice cream.
“Mmm… Moose tracks…” she mumbled. She took another bite and groaned loudly, falling back against the headrest. “Oh… My… God…” Her eyes closed and she licked her lips. Justin smiled and crawled on the bed with her. Her eyes opened and she smiled at him as he straddled her hips, his face only inches from hers.
“That ice cream got nothing on me.”
She smiled. “Oh you obviously haven’t tried this yet.” She took a spoonful and held it to his mouth. He took a bite and let it melt in his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers.
“That is good…” He reached into the carton and dipped his fingers into the ice cream, slowly bringing them to her lips. She took his hand in hers and licked the now liquid sweetness off his fingers. She bit at them playfully then sucked them clean. He smiled seductively and rubbed her soft, full lips. They curved back in a smile to reveal her perfect white teeth. He leaned in and kissed her for the first time in over a month. He fell back a little to see her reaction but she pulled him back in. He started out slow, not allowing her to deepen the kiss. He closed his lips to prevent her tongue from slipping in. She moaned in frustration and decided to take things into her control. Her lips traveled to his ears. She nibbled on them sweetly.
He was shocked when she flipped him over so she was on top. She had never taken the first move like this before and she had surprised him. She pulled his shirt over his head and ran her hand over his tight abs. They tensed under her touch. She pulled his pants down lower and her tongue moved to caress the tender skin on his hipbone. She smiled when she moved lower and felt him squirm underneath her, her fingernails tickling his sides. She began to unbutton his pants but he took her hands and pulled her back up to him and kissed each finger. She looked at him strangely. He put his hand behind her head and pulled her to him.
“Not yet…” he whispered in her ears. She sighed loudly and laid her head on his chest.
“When are ya gonna let me have some fun…” she pouted, her fingers running up and down his chest.
“All in due time…” he smirked, turning her over once again. He continued kissing her, but this time deepening the pressure. She felt his tongue glide in and slowly pulled her shirt over her head, only breaking their contact when the fabric passed between them. He pulled back and got off the bed. She looked at him strangely. He returned a few seconds later and straddled her hips. She smiled when she saw the whip cream bottle in his hand. He sprayed a long line going from right above her belly button to her mouth. He slowly began to lick the cream off her stomach, pausing for a few seconds to give extra attention to the hollow of her neck. She groaned loudly when she felt his mouth on hers again. Her hands tugged at his hair gently but he could feel them slide down his bare back and to his waist. Her fingers fumbled with the button for a little while but soon had them undone. He helped pull them off and then got to work on hers. He moaned into her lips when he felt her warm hands slip into his boxers. This was going way too fast and had the potential of ending up ugly. He pulled her hands out, almost as upset by his actions as she was. He broke their lip contact and let her head rest on the bed. He couldn’t help look her over, she really was breathtaking. Her lips were swollen and pink, her cheeks blushed, and her long brown hair was spread out on the pillow. He swallowed hard. She was going to be harder to resist than he had initially hoped.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.
He sighed and tried to tear his eyes away from her. “This isn’t right.”
He could see the disappointment in her face. “Why not?”
“You-You’re under a lot of stress now with Alex and everything and I-“
“Alex has nothing to do with you.”
He looked at her strangely, it was the first time he had heard her say his name.
“Yeah but… um… I’m not really in the mood…”
She looked down then smiled evilly. “That’s not what he’s telling me.” He looked down and blushed. She put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him close.
“As they say in Coyote Ugly,” she whispered, “there’s a four-year old in your pants.” His eyes widened in surprise. “Let him have some fun.”
He smiled. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Positive.”
He leaned in close and put his head next to hers. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Uh huh.”
He paused, his lips only centimeters from hers. He looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you Brianna.”
She bit her lip and thought that over in her head. “I love you too.”
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