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Sincerly,
Terri Richardson
HEY GUYS WANNA SEE A SINGLE CHICK WITH HUGE KNOCKERS (scroll to the bottom)
(Part II)
I creep past the monster spider and head to the toilet. Braver then most I might add. You bet I checked every crook and cranny, lifted the lid, inspected the ceiling and walls for anything that may come my way. I even managed to brush my teeth in there. Then I decided forget this- paranoia hit me. I headed out of there and manage to turn off the light with my hair brush because �Fred� was still there !
As I approached the cabin no one was up yet. I dressed on my bunk. Moving my bag awoke a few campers in the cabin and they started to stir. Michelle announced softly � I�m going to the bathroom.� Her girls got up and followed her. I wanted to tell her but I was perplexed. Do I tell her and risk scaring the girls or let them see this monster for themselves? I decided to let them find out for themselves or no one else would believe me about how huge this thing ! Kim woke next and Mary entered the cabin. I told them of the monster in the bathroom. Being the senior camp moms they had experienced �big spiders � before with the girls. Kim and Mary laughed at me and thought I was over exaggerating. Next Heather woke up hearing all the giggles from Kim and Mary. She looks at me and says what�s up? I proceed to tell here about �Fred�, she shrugs it off. Remember we are talking about Heather she is in camouflage fatigues and sandals. �Terri let�s get up to the mess hall. The Juniors are going to fix us breakfast.� Heather says with a smile. �Ok that sounds good Heather but where is the nearest Royal Farm Store I need to get a cup of coffee first?� I said running my hands down my cheeks. One look and a chuckle ;I knew this wasn�t going to be the answer I was looking for. �Oh yeah you drink coffee. I get my caffeine fix from Diet Coke.� I can�t drink coffee Heather explains. �I didn�t bring any and I only have 2 diet cokes left. One for this morning and one for tomorrow. I should have told you that you could bring beverages.� At this point things for coffee don�t look so good either. So we might as well get hiking and trudge toward the mess hall which is a good half mile hike. At least I know there is water there. In the mess hall the tables are set. Kim and Mary have started our girls cooking. Heather takes over instruction of the girls and the breakfast regiment. Kim comes over to the table I�m sitting at while Mary greets the brownie troop that just came through the door. Hey, Kim has a cup in her hand ! Could it be ? Yes it was ! The fuel of the gods. With that urgent yet pathetic look I inquire the content of her cup. She informs me she found coffee made some and points to the direction of the pot. I like a mouse in a maze I follow and get my first cup of fuel. Sitting back down with Kim I knew all would be ok. The cadets start bouncing in the hall next. I hear Laurelle calling me �Ms. Terri did you forget my lamb last night?� Damn, I forgot about the lamb. Kim looks over at me with a smirk and says to Laurelle �you are responsible for your stuff. Ms.Terri doesn�t have your lamb.� I see the panic in Laurelle�s eyes but the game has just begun. You see for the past 2-3 years the cadets have spoofed on Heather. Hiding her camp gear, playing tricks ect. This year we decided it was the cadets turn to get spoofed.� Laurelle�, I said with a smirk �I have no idea where your lamb is, do you think I would take your lamb? You better check with Ms. Kim.� My sinister grin still lingering on my face. �Ms. Kim!!!� she shouts �did you take my lamb?� Kim just imitated the tenacious grin I have on my face. Laurelle starts shouting to the other Cadets � Ms. Terri and Ms. Kim took my lamb. If I don�t get my lamb back you two will feel the wrath of the Cadets!� Heather and Mary hearing the excitement come to the table. Kim and I innocently deny any knowledge of the lamb. Heather smiles, she knows her intuition is good; she senses the game has begun. �Laurelle why would MY mom�s have YOUR lamb? Go help the Cadets and Brownies get their drinks.� Heather commands. �You two have the lamb don�t you� Heather says with a smile, �good.�
Breakfast went well I had at least 4-5 cups of coffee, OJ, sausage, bacon, pancakes. Yum! The Juniors cleared the tables , washed the dishes and swept the hall and cleaned up afterwards. That is a sight to behold, several girls age 10 and under cleaning, WOW! Anita takes all the brownies and juniors to the field to play field games down by the cabins. Sue takes the cadets off on a hike to work up their appetites. Meanwhile Heather, Mary, Kim and myself embark on a project that comes from the unwritten �Heathers guide to keep kids busy at camp� . Without that we�d all be lost. The project this time is a bubble stick. For those who are not in �the know�. A bubble stick is a stick with a loop of rope at one end. Which you can dip in a bucket of �bubble stuff� liquid and make bubbles. Just like the kind you blow through the wand but this makes huge bubbles and involves going in a complete circle with your entire body. To create enough wind and movement to make a bubble that will be almost a foot plus in diameter. On the porch connected to the hall Mary and Heather are unloading the supplies. Rope, which I will be cutting into 18 exact lengths. PVC 1/2inch pipe, which Heather salvaged for free. She is also a �pack rat� which her husband hates but is a great quality for a troop leader. There are several lengths of pipe Mary and Heather will have to cut these down to 18 equal lengths. Kim�s job will be to sand the ends so the girls don�t get cut. Hmmm how do we cut the pipe? Heather says �I have just the thing!� As she heads toward her truck. If she didn�t I would have been very surprised. �Mc Guiver� as we have lovingly nicknamed Heather comes back with her duffel bag of tools that would make any man jealous. She hands me a multi-tooled device to cut the rope. Next she hands Kim the palm sander. Then last but not least she hands Mary the extension cord ,the gig saw and a box that vibrated when it dropped out of her hands. Immediately Mary, Kim and I start to �raz� Heather about the content of her box, questioning the loud vibrating and buzzing.Of course it was her cordless drill. What Mc Guiver would leave home with out it? It would almost be like forgetting a rubber band and a paper clip. With in moments we have the project complete and just in time for the girls to come up. Anita arrives with brownies and juniors in tow. �Wow, mom what did you make?� yells Bean as she enters the porch. I inform Bean and the girls behind her that as a team effort we have made bubble sticks and they are to help the brownies make bubbles. Anita and Mary along with Caroline start the girls off by showing them how to dip the string and stick in the buckets of liquid. By the giggles and squeals you can tell once again Heather has made yet another successful project. Then it hits Heather, Kim and myself�..where are the cadets ? We head down to the cabins immediately. The door flies open and Kim entered the cabin first. �Hey Terri your stuff is gone, bedding and backpack! Yours is gone too Heather! Hey they took mine!� Heather says � that�s it this means war, head over to their cabins.� Oh crap they have my bag ! It has the two stink bombs I confiscated from Bean. Opps! I forgot to tell you about the stink bombs and I also forgot to tell Heather. Auuuhhhhh Heather ! I have two stink bombs in my bag we have to find that first. Kim opens the door to the cadets cabin and turns to me and says �Cool Terri�s got stink bombs!� As she opens the door the cabin looks as if nothing is out of place. There is no sign of our stuff. Or so I thought but Heather is with us the first thing she does is flip the mattresses, Nothing ! Then she sees the corner of my sleeping bag neatly aligned with Sue�s sleeping bag on top. Pulling it out Heather hands it to me. Kim discovers hers and Heathers stuff wadded up under the bunk cots. Heather is not a happy camper at this point. She yells �why would they neatly hide Terri�s things and wad my stuff up ?� I don�t know but personally it gives me the feeling of being the Alpha female but that is only self proclaimed. Heather says �Oh no not till we fix them first!� Kim gets to the first bunk and starts to flip the mattress, placing all the contents under it. Heather and I follow suite and in no time the cabin had the appearance of looking bare. Next Heather says �The cadets will be making dinner if we can keep them at the mess hall after their hike and after lunch. They won�t be back at the cabin till after dark, lets unscrew the light bulbs.� Then Kim comes up with the great idea of getting the cargo net out of Heather�s truck and stringing it to the bunks. What a great idea ! Just think of walking into a dark cabin with a huge spider web you can�t see in the dark. ( Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha * I can hear a sinister laugh) Come on guys we need to get outta here before we get busted. Heather , Kim and I exit the cadets cabin to return our stuff back to ours. But guess who gets caught ? You got it �.the cadets ! Laurelle and two other cadets were just about to leave our cabin and guess what they had in their possession ? My bag ! Thinking quickly I say to Laurelle � Funny Ha Ha! you took our stuff we got it back but you can�t take my bag it has my medicine in it and I need it so hand it over.� God it�s cool to be an adult I�m thinking at this point and time. Laurelle says �Miss Terri I�ll give you your bag but you best give me my lamb!� Laurelle hands me the bag. Heather picked up on what I was doing and interjects with the same stern tone. �Miss Terri does not have your lamb.What were you girls doing in our cabin ? Get out now and get back up to the mess hall the brownies have made us lunch. Move it ! Move it ! Move it !� Heather yells like a boot camp instructor. The girls hustle out into the field and up the trail. Heather, Kim and I follow them looking thick as thieves.
Back at the mess hall the brownies have prepared a fantastic lunch. Hot dogs, beans, chips, fruit cocktail and cookies ! All served by the cutest lil girls you�d ever want to see. After lunch we knew the Cadets would be busy cleaning up after the brownies and preparing our dinner. They had choose a Hawaiian theme for or meal and had lots of preparation to do. Anita and Caroline once again took the brownies and cadets to the field to run relay races. In the mean time, about three hours later the air was getting hot and muggy outside. Heather had a great idea how to cool the girls off. Since the pool was not an option. Let�s make water balloons ! So Kim , Mary , Heather and I got busy filling tubs with water balloons that we lugged down the trail to the field where the girls looked like sweaty wet dish rags from the heat. We lined the girls up, partner facing partner. The object of the game was to toss the balloon back and forth with out it braking. If it didn�t brake you took one step backwards until the partners with the most space between them won. Again we can thank Heather for her ideas to keep the kids busy. It lasted all of 5 minutes and BOOM we could hear thunder, next we saw this dark cloud coming out of nowhere and looming our way. As luck would have it here we are in an open field. We quickly gathered the girls and headed to the mess hall. Next lightening was crashing all around us. It grew louder and louder, the little ones were frightened the cadets were cranky because we spoiled the surprise of the luau and they had to speed up dinner. The juniors on the other hand decided to sit and sing entertaining us while we waited.
TO BE CONTINUED....
NO SKINNY DIPPING ! WE CHUNKY DUNK !
Thank You For Entering The Contest - We are seeking a new prize the last one was getting old. Keep the recipes coming everyone loves them !
Blurry-Eyed Kicker
1/4oz. melon liqueur
1/4oz. Southern Comfort liqueur
1/4oz. banana liqueur
1/4oz. vodka
3/4oz. orange juice
1/2oz. whiskey sour mix
2cups ice
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour in the melon liqueur, Southern Comfort, Banana liqueur, vodka, orange juice and sour mix. Shake vigorously for 1 to 2 minutes. Strain into a highball glass and serve.
QUICK SOFT PRETZELS ~ June of Middlesex
10 ounces refrigerated pizza dough
1 egg, beaten
1 Tbs. water
2 Tbs. coarse salt
Preheat oven to 350F. Place pizza dough on lightly floured wax paper and roll into a 16x10 inch rectangle. Cut dough lengthwise into 10 1 inch wide strips. Shape each strip into a circle, overlapping about 4 inches from each end and leaving ends free. Taking one end of the dough in each hand, twist at the point where the dough overlaps. Lift each end across to the edge of the circle opposite it. Tuck ends under to seal. Place pretzels 1 inch apart on an ungreased baking sheet. Beat egg and water in a bowl. Brush pretzels with egg mixture and sprinkle with salt. Bake 15-17 minutes, or until golden. Serve warm.
Local Sites
Essex -Middle River-White Marsh Chamber of Commerce w/ links to great local business
All Your Wishes Wants and Needs
Harlow & Shaplin LLC.
ANGRY AMERICAN
