Rating: G
Summary: Harm is leaving JAG to fly F-14, but is he leaving Mac too?
Pairings: Harm & Mac
JAG Disclaimer: I don't own these characters so don't sue.
Story Disclaimer:This story copyright 1999 by Sarah Brown, all rights reserved. May be redistributed as long as it is done at no charge.
Harm looked up from his packing as a knock sounded at his door. He glanced at his watch -- 2300, kinda late for someone to come by. Unless . . .
He opened the door and was not surprised to find Mac standing there. She looked mad as hell. He got out of the way as she barged into his apartment. He shut the door and turned to face her as she glared at him.
"Something on your mind, Major? he asked mildly.
"Yes, damn you, there is!" she practically shouted. "How dare you stroll out of JAG with nothing more than a little pat on my back and a "there, there, Mac"? We have been partners for years, YEARS, and that's all I get before you fly off into the Wild Blue Yonder? That's all I mean to you? Well dammit, I think I deserve a little bit more."
Harm stared at her in shock. He knew she was right, but he was surprised that she had come over here and said it to his face. Mac wasn't afraid of anything, but when it came to relationships, she usually expected much less than she deserved.
Then a little smile crossed his face. For Mac to get this worked up, she must really feel strongly. About him! A warm feeling worked its way through him, and his smile got wider.
"What are you smiling about, Flyboy?" Mac demanded. "Do you think this is funny? I can't believe I came all the way down here to this lousy neighborhood at this hour of the night to bare my soul to you, and you just smile at me!" Her air of bravado crumbled, and tears began rolling down her cheeks. "I can't believe I came down here. I'm such an idiot, I should have known you wouldn't understand . . ." she sobbed.
"Hey, Mac, come here," Harm said, alarmed. He strode over to her and pulled her into his arms. She fought him at first, then curled into his chest, her tears falling faster.
"Harm, I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed," she whispered. "It's really thrown me for a loop. You've been the one person I could rely on for so long, and now you're leaving me, too."
"Sshhh, Mac, ssshhhh," Harm soothed her, rocking her in his arms and stroking her back. "I'm not leaving you, I'm leaving JAG. I'm going to fly again, you know what that means to me."
"I know, and I should be happy for you, but I can't be happy about it right now," she said. "Why do you have to leave?" she continued, hating herself for her weakness but unable to help herself. She'd never realized just what Harm meant to her until she found out he was going.
"I don't want to leave you," he said wretchedly, "but I've wanted the chance to fly again for so long. Besides," he said tentatively, "I didn't think there was really anything holding me here." He pulled back from her and looked into her eyes for a clue to her feelings.
"Thanks a lot," she sniffled, trying to stop the flow of tears.
"What I mean is, we never had the kind of relationship with each other that I could base major life decisions on. I mean, we're just partners, right?"
"Right," she agreed, looking up into his face. "And good friends, of course," she added.
"Good friends, absolutely," he said, staring back at her.
For long moments, their gazes locked and tension sung along the invisible connection between them. Then, at the same moment they moved together and kissed. Once, softly, drawing back to look at each other in wonder, questioning. Then fiercely, pouring out their feelings for one another.
"Sarah," Harm breathed between kisses, "I haven't thought of you as a just a friend for ages now. I can't remember when I first realized I was in love with you, but I didn't want to ruin the relationship we had."
"Harm, I've loved you for it seems like forever now," she said, pulling him closer to her. "But I was afraid of my feelings. And now you're leaving."
"It's not forever," he said, sliding his hands along her arms, then around the small of her back. "Only six months."
"Six months," she breathed against his neck before moving her lips to his ear. "That seems like a lifetime."
"Let's not waste what little time we have left," he said, pulling her toward his bed. She followed gladly, anxious to have at least one memory to keep her warm during the long months they'd be apart.
Later
Harm and Mac rolled to face each other on his bed. A look of wonder was on both of their faces.
"Wow, that was really . . . something." Harm began.
"Yeah. It wasn't anything like I'd always imagined it," Mac continued.
"Me neither," Harm agreed. "In fact I have to say, it was really pretty . . . uh . . . well, sort of . . ."
"Awful," Mac finished for him.
"Exactly," Harm finished, relieved she'd said it first. "But you know, I've been pretty tired these last few days, and you were pretty upset when you first came in, maybe . . ."
"Right," Mac said anxiously. "I mean the first time between two people is always a little awkward, maybe we should . . ."
They stared at each other.
"Nah," they said together.
"So, really good friends, right?" Mac said as she climbed out of bed and began retrieving her clothes.
"You bet. The best," Harm agreed, getting up and throwing on a robe. He walked her to the door when she had finished dressing and held it open for her.
"Well, you fly safely, Sailor," she said.
"Will do, Marine," he responded.
"I'll miss you. Don't forget to write."
"As long as you promise to write back. Take good care of yourself, okay, Mac?"
"Yup," she said. They hugged and patted each other on the back. Then she pulled away and walked out the door. Harm closed it behind her.
On either side of the door, both of them shook their heads and said, "Go figure."
THE END
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