Crossroads

She looked over at him. After there conversation on the Admiral porch things had been sensitive with them. The kissed they had shared haunted her every moment she was awake, of course he was a good kisser, a damn good kisser. She had kissed him before and he had always been good.
But that night when she leaned in to kiss him light and he had reacted with such gentle force it had surprised her, and when she felt him let down the wall long enough to pull at her, claiming her mouth. She had been more than shocked.
It wasn’t so much the kiss that was haunting her, the kiss was only making her have wet dreams about him. What was haunting her was the look she had seen in his eyes. He looked so primal, so honest. When she had opened up her eyes the reflection of truth starred right back at her outlined in shear panic.
For a moment she thought he was going to lay it all down and not let her go back inside, she had even tried one last time when she reached out and touched his shoulder before she went back in. But he had turned away from her. As he always did.
She had watched him the rest of night as he snapped at everyone around him, and consumed enough alcohol that night to have a nasty hang over in the morning she was sure.
He watched the emotions washing over her face and knew she was struggling, but this time he didn’t mind waiting on her.
“I’m really sorry about our fight. Before you left I mean.”
That had come out of the left field. He hadn’t even really remember it all.
“Its okay....”
She didn’t let him finish. “No you don’t understand. When the elevator door closed that day I said...” she closed her eyes embarrassed she had acted like a child “I said I hope you crash the damn thing.” He almost found it amusing, was she beating herself up over something she said in a fit of angry. He had been times said awful things about what he hope would happen to Mic. It was only human. “Well Mac you didn’t cause the crash. Unless you were in charge of the weather that night. Were you?”
Even with the smile he flashed her, it didn’t lighten her mood. “I didn’t mean it Harm.... I really didn’t.”
“I know...” he wasn’t understand why she was so upset about saying that or even thinking it. He had deserved, he had been running from the whole thing, he was going to use it as an excuse not to come to the wedding until the had seen her so hurt over the fact he was leaving.
“I just wanted you to be there so badly.” in away she was hoping he would get his head out of his six and not let her go through with it. For as strong as she was, she needed help in this mess she was in.
“Why?” What did she really want from him, to rub in his face that she was moving on, or what to watch is heart brake?
“I just did Harm. And then when Admiral told us you had went down at sea... “ she turned and looked at him.
She saw a look of pure concern and every battle she had ever had with him faded from memory and all she saw was this man, sitting on his couch, a man she had almost lost a few days ago. “I was terrified. Nothing else seemed to matter and I stood there in the bathroom crying. All
I could think of the moments over the years that we have spent together and the moments I’ve walked away from with you. I had so many things I still wanted to tell you.”
He knew this was getting serious, he saw in her eyes and heard it in every word she said. He stood up and some how made it to her side. “What Sarah... What did you need to say to me?”
She reached up and touched her hand to his face. His skin was warm and soft.
God he was beautiful. His blue eyes pierced her very core.
He let his eyes drifted shut for a moment feeling her touch, it was like a cool breeze in the middle of the desert sand. Nothing compared to it.
His mind began screaming at him that things were spinning out of control fast and he had better stop it.