Crossroads

“What Mac.... what do you need to say to me?” a feeling rose up in his chest that he was unsure of. Fear gripped her heart. A fear unlike any thing she had ever experienced with him.
“I...” she never got to finished as the pounding on the door started.
“What?” he wanted her to finish. There was another knock on the door.
“You should get that.” her eyes never left his.
“I won’t... if you don’t want me to...”
She knew this was his way of telling her that at this moment she was more important than anyone else.
“No... no ... you should get that... might be someone important.” she let her hands drop from him. She had said, not him. He pulled away from her, making his way slowly to the door.
“Well... its about time Harmon.” his mothers voice rang out. “I wanted to stop by before I caught my plain home.” she stepped inside.
When she sat the bags down that were in her arms she noticed Mac standing there. Her heart soared, she loved Mac so much. She saw the way she looked at her son and she knew that she would always take care of him. She would be good for him, Good for him the way he needed a women. “Mac its wonderful to see you. I didn’t get a chance to catch you at the hospital.” she pulled Mac into a hug. “I didn’t realize that Harm had company.”
“No Trish... I was just getting ready to leave.”
“Oh please don’t leave on my account. My flight leaves in 3 hours. I brought food for dinner... Have you eaten anything at all today?”
“Mother...” Harm smiled. He liked seeing his mother try to care of Mac.
“I’m fine.. Really.”
“Mac stay.” she walked back into the kitchen and started unpacking things from the bags. “Harm how are you? How are you feeling?”
Harm glanced at Mac and rolled his eyes.”Fine Mom... I’m fine.” he started helping her.
Trish started going on about things back home, just talking to him like she hadn’t seen him in forever.
Mac made her way to the bar stole and watched them interacting and grinned as her heart took on that familiar ache. She could see how much he loved his mother., and most of all he respected her. She was amazed to see a man of such strength take such care in his parents. the way he searched for his father with such conviction, never pausing to be restful for the way he grew up or what he missed or even how it now consumed his life.
For the first time she understood his journey and she admired him.
Which only made the ache even stronger, she longed for a family. Not just within a husband or children, but most of all in a really family, a place to go on holidays other than friends house that only felt bad that you had no place to go. She longed for things she never had growing up. A normal, complete family.
“Mac...” Harm said again.
“Huh ? What?”
“I said do you want some salad.”
“Uhh no... I’ve got to go... its getting late. Trish it was great to see you again.” with that she stood up and gathered her things leaving.
“Did you do something to her? What did you say to her?”
“I didn’t say anything to her.” he looked at his mother “Women... who knows....”
“Harm... Mac is a good women. Do you think you could lay aside all your obessions and take a real look at your life and try not hurt her.”
“Mom” he didn’t want to go into this her right now.
“Harm... I’m proud of you, of what you have accomplished in your life. You have been the best Son, you’ve been more than I could ask for in a child. You have turned out to be a decent, noble man. But sometimes you hold on to your past. I seen you do it with your father all your life.”
Harm looked down at the counter, not meeting her eyes.
“I didn’t do anything to stop you, I knew that in your heart you needed to do whatever it was you needed to do. And there have been moments it has killed me to watch you go through the things you’ve gone through. But you have strong convictions about who you are and what is important to you.”
“Mom...”
“Harmon ... don’t hurt her and yourself just because you can’t or won’t let go of whatever has got a hold on you.”

~ ~ ~

Mac felt her body ache, every part of her. She was tired and the only thing on her mind was a bath and bed. She didn’t care how early it was.

She pushed the door open and slammed it shut. There were two or there box by the door and Mic made his way out from the bedroom with another in hand. “What are you doing?” “I’m leaving.” Great she thought “I don’t need this tonight Mic... I’m tired.” Mic looked at her, he still loved her, still wanted to work things out with her and have a life with her. “Sarah.. Let the past go.. for me, let it go.” She thought of her past with Harm, she was killing herself waiting, wanting, wondering. Mic looked in her eyes seeing the truth reflected there. There might still be a little hope for him. “Sarah...lets get married tonight... and then baby it we will be happy... just you and me, just us... forever.” The words blasted through her head. No she could let go, not yet. God that sounded so familiar. “No I can’t...” “And Sarah I can’t anymore either.” he closed his eyes. “I love you.” The tears sprang to her eyes, her head screamed at her that she was being stupid, she would never find another person to love her. “Good bye Sarah.” with that the door shut again. ~ ~ ~ Harm picked up the phone. “Ya this Harm.” “Harm..” it was only a whisper through her teas. He sat up “Mac...” oh god what was wrong. “Hey whats wrong. Talk to me.” “Can I come over?” another whisper. “Mac... of course ... yes.... But I don’t think you should drive like this...” “I’m down stairs.” Then come up.” Moments later there was a knock on the door and he opened it. Every fiber in his body became tense. What in hell had happened to her. "He left me...” she didn’t understand why she was here, crying in front him. “He packed his things and moved out.” He watched her. ‘Damn him for hurting her so badly’ She paced in the living room. “He wanted to marry me. He really did.” he was unsure of what to say and still be safe. “Maybe now is not the right time to get married.” Her angry had stepped up a degree and he wasn’t helping. “No Harm ... Its not.. I know that.” tears poured from her eyes. She let her head fall into her hand, hiding the emotion from him. The ring of the phone got Harm’s attention. “Hello... hold on..” he covered the phone for a second. “Mac its for you.” She wiped her eyes and took the phone, a little confused. “MacKenzie.” she said into the phone. She turned towards the living room. “Well love I was sitting here thinking who would you run to first.” “Mic its not like that.... Please.” It was strange to hear her beg a man for anything, even understanding. “I guess I have my answer.” and with that she heard the dial tone. “Mic...” With a moment she flung the phone across the room. It split into two pieces as it slide across the hardwood floor. Harm watched her, she was mad, he had never seen her this upset. He walked over and pulled her into his embrace. “Sarah... come here... its okay.” he smoothed her hair down as her head dropped into his chest. His voice enraged her, she lifted her fists and started pounding into his chest. “Damn you.” she tried to scream at him. He held on to her tight. He was still sore, and out of strength from what he had just been through, but he refused to let her go. ~Back~ ~Fanfic Home~ ~Next~