No Doubt

Mac laughed as she tried to catch her breath. She had forgot what it was like to have a women to talk to.
Most women she knew were so put off by how aggressive she came across that they didn’t give her a second chance.
“I was so scared I broke I his nose.” she was laughing "And he has such a perfect nose." her hand lighlty touched her nose at the thought.
“What was he doing?”
“Well Harm also had a need to check up on me. I didn’t realize it was him.”
Mac believe it her, she had just come to expect the fact that Harm was always going to be that way.
“When he came through the door. I just didn’t know it was him. I just reacted.”
“Poor Harm.”
“Poor nothing... that teach him to come into my hotel room unannounced.”
Mac just couldn’t stop laughing, she could almost see the look of surprise on his face.
“He was pretty mad.” Kate laughed at the memory. “Harm and I have had some good times. What about the two you?”
“Ya I guess we have had some good times, things are complicated with us.” it seemed that was the only way she could describe them.
“How?” Kate questioned.
“I don’t really know... From the moment we met things have wired between us.”
“Because you look like Diane?”
“Ya I guess. I thought he got pass that a long time ago. But I think because we started out that way its hard for it not to be hung up on it.”
“I don’t think one ever gets pass losing someone, but it doesn’t mean he hold its against you. He knows you for who you are, he loves you for who you are.”
“No I don’t think he does, But I sometimes hold things against him.” she admit.
“Like what ?”
“What he said to me in Australia. How he is with me. I don’t understand why its so much work to love him.” It was hard to believe she was speaking about all this so open heartily.
“Its not an easy job.” It was the truth.
“Ya but its not like I can stop. I love him. There is no other way for me.”
“It will get easier when you tell him how you feel and you two stop running away. It will get easier.”

~ ~ ~
Mac hadn’t slept at all. It was already 06:15 and all she could think of was
Harm, Her life, Where she was going and what she was going to do.
Kate’s words rang in her ears “It will get easier.” she longed to believe that.
Mac got up and started the coffee. She couldn’t just lay there anymore.

She picked up the phone and stepped out side the apartment.
“Hey ... its me...”
“Its early is everything okay?”
“Ya... I need to talk to you.. I know my timing is off and I’m sorry for this... Its just ... I can’t get married right now.”
He wasn’t at all shaken. “Sarah why don’t I come over and we can talk.”
“I’m not at home and there is nothing I can talk about right now.”
“Are you with him Sarah?”
“No I’m not with Him... Mic I just need some more time.”
“Sarah its either now or never.”
She bit her lip slightly. She hadn’t wanted to do this over the phone. “I need time Mic.”
“I don’t have the time to give you.”
With those words spoken she heard the dial tone.
She clicked the phone off and walked back inside.
Kate looked over at her. “I was worried. I thought you might have left.”
“No. I just called the wedding off.”
“Are you okay?”
“Ya I’m fine.” she came over and sat down.
“Well.. listen I’m going to call a hotel and get a room. I need to get a least a few more house of sleep and then I need to get cleaned up before I catch my flight in about 7 and half hours.”
“Kate ... really you don’t have to do that... I can go.”
“No... no... I don’t want you to leave. That is the point. I want you to be here.”
Mac felt bad for running her off. “Well here.. why don’t you go to my place.
No one is there... you can sleep take a shower... whatever you need.”
“You don’t mind?”
“No ... here let me get you my Harm’s key to my place. You can just leave it on the counter.”
Kate took the keys. “Thanks so much.” she gathered her things up. “Mac I’m glad I came by last night... I hope the two of you work this out. That man in there is going crazy...” she smiled at her “And your not doing any better yourself.”
“Thank Kate... It was good to see you this time.”
“Ya it was.”

~ ~ ~
Harm slowly opened his eyes and groaned. “Damn.” he muttered shutting them again. “Haven’t done that in a long time.”
Mac heard movement from the back and headed that way.
She found Harm laying on his side, facing the door. She could see the pain written all over his face.
She made her way into the room and “Hey Sailor.” she whispered as she laid across the bed on her stomach.
At the sound of her voice Harm opened his eyes. For a moment his heart stopped. He had very little memory of the night before and Mac being at his place this early couldn’t be a good sight.
He would die if he had hurt her or taken advantage of her in anyway. “Hey yourself.”
Her eyes meant his and she had smile. He looked awful and she knew his head must be pounding. “You okay.”
“No... I’ve not had a hangover in a very long time. My head is killing me. Are you okay?”
“Yea I’m fine. I will get you some Aspirin and water.” She pushed herself up and headed toward the kitchen.
At the mention water he realized there was an urgent need to use the bathroom so he rolled out of bed and headed that way.
Standing up did little to help the pain he was feeling. “I’m going to take a shower Mac. Don’t go any where.” maybe the hot water would ease some of the tension and pain.
Mac didn’t say anything she just gathered up what she needed and headed back to his bedroom. She wouldn’t have left even he had asked her too. There was too much she needed to say to him.
Harm let the hot water hit his face, there was a reason he didn’t get drunk and this was that reason. The last thing he remember was the toast to the happy couple. “Oh God.” the realization that he had completely wasted at his CO’s house hit him. Well there wasn’t much he could do about it now.
“Harm here are some clothes for you, you didn’t grab any when you came in.”
Mac’s voice rang in his ears. “Thanks.”
He was completely confused. What in the hell was she doing here. He had to admit it was better than waking up to Renee’s voice. His head couldn’t handle her voice this morning.

~ ~ ~
Harm came out of the bathroom in gray sweats a towel draped over his shoulders holding a plain white shirt. His hair was wet, and his back was draped with water.
He saw her laying on the bed and stopped. “Hey.”
She sat up. “Do you feel any better?”
“A little.” he dropped to the bed.
Mac got up on her knees and came up behind him. She took the towel and gentle began drying his skin. Harm didn’t protest, he didn’t move, he wasn’t even sure if he was still breath.
It felt to nice to have someone doing something so little for him. Mac gentle kneed his skin. “There is some aspirin on the night stand.”
“What happened last night Mac.... I don’t remember a whole alot.”
He pulled away from her needing to figure so things out. He took the aspirin and started pacing in his room.
“Where do you want me start.... before or after you started braking things.”
“Oh god...” he groaned. “I didn’t hurt anyone did I?” he was completely embarrassed by his behavior.
“No... you yelled at Kate alot and threw a bowl, or knocked it off the counter... I don’t know what you did ... I just helped her clean it up when I got here.”
“I forgot about her... where is she now? Is she okay?”
“Ya she is fine... she is at my place sleeping I’m sure. We ahh stayed up late last night talking.”
He remember them going up the stairs to talk “Ya you two have been talking alot the last few hours.”
“Ya we sure have.... mostly about you.”
“What did she say to you?” he pushed question through his lips as though he was in great pain.
“She told me you kept asking her that, you were really mad over the whole thing. Why?”
He made his way back over to the bed. “Because .... will you just tell me.”
She stood up. “She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. She only made it clear that getting married wasn’t the answer.”
“What?” he looked at her. He didn’t want to be doing this with her right, all he wanted was to fall on that bed not wake up for a month “Your not getting married.”
She looked at him. “No I’m not.”
It wasn’t even a thought as he pulled her into his arms and lifted her off the floor. He nudged his face into her neck. Those words saved his life. “Mac... God... are you okay.”
She was surprised as she felt herself in his arms. “Ya I’m okay.”
When her feet hit the ground she looked up at him and pressed her lips into his.
His arms never left her and he pulled her close.
It was but a few moments later when she pulled away. “I’m not going to die Harm.”
“What ?” he said slowly.
“If you give me your heart and love me I’m not going to die. But if you send me out of this room without your love... if you send me out your life I don’t know what will happen to me.”
In a moments time he realized that she understood him. She understood who he was, the convictions he lived by and finally she understood what held him back, what made it so hard for him to let go with her. It was in that moment that everything changed. If she understood him and understood this about him he knew she wouldn’t ever leave him, that the love they had would last. It was that moment that gave him faith her. Made him trust her with his life. “I love you Sarah.”
No other words spoken to her in her life meant as much as those had. “I love you too. I always have. I always will.” Her hand touched his face lightly as she looked in his eyes.
“No matter what happens. I want you in my life, in my heart....” his voice dropped to a whisper “In my bed.” he smiled. “I have no doubt that this is it for you and me.”
“I won’t ever go back. I just love you so much.” tears of joy slipped down her face. “No more doubt.”
“No more.” he kissed her again pulling her towards his bed.
He held her, vowing to never let go of her or there love. He wouldn’t ever have a reason to doubt her faith in him, or her love in him.

The End