To Russia With Love

~Andrea~

Summry: Mac follow's Harm to Russia to help, they ended up in the same hotel room and Mac watchs Harm struggle though a dream.
Rating: NC-17

Aching For You

She watched him as he struggled through his dream, it was haunting to watch him struggle so openly. It was something he never did, let others see his weakness.
“God I want to help him, hold him, make it all go away” she whispered to herself as his head tilted and his breathing increased.

~ ~ ~

He began to float out of the sleepy haze he had been in, relief washing over his body as he realizes it was only a dream.
He takes one last deep, ragged breath, letting his eyes flutter open then looks around the room.

~ ~ ~

I try not to let the concern show on my face as I smile at him, but I know he knows me too well.

~ ~ ~

“Hey what time is it?” I asked, in a mere whisper. She is beautiful sitting there wrapped in a blanket.
She is the only person in the entire world I want sitting in front of me, but I can’t help feeling a little embarrassed that she is seeing me vunerable.
I can’t seem to shake this battle that has plagued me.

~ ~ ~

“East coast, Zulu or Masco?” I ask lightly as I see the slight embarrassment register on his face. I want him to trust me, to trust me with every feeling he has.
That is something I know Harmon Rabb doesn’t do with just anyone.
“Masco will do” he smiles.
“05:25” His smile is forced
“God, jet lag doesn’t even throw off your internal clock?” I want to reach out and touch him, make him feel better, make it all go away.
“No, but daylight savings does make me think twice.” His laughter is forced as well, as his eyes drift shut for a second. I take the this moment to push myself from the blankets and come to his side.
My white gown falling around me, I sit next to him. My presence makes his eyes shoot open.

~ ~ ~

She was beautiful; there were no other words for the way she looked at that moment. His voice was gone, nothing at this moment made sense, and he did care to try and make it all make sense.

~ ~ ~

“Harm.” it was only a whisper as I reached up and touched his face lightly. She wanted to make the world disappear, and she wasn’t sure what made her do it, but as her lips finally touched his, she knew what was going to happen.

~ ~ ~

Never did he think he would end up here, but he let his body relax as he felt her stand up and lower her self back over him. Only this time, she lifted her gown up enough to straddle his lap.
He knew he should stop this, but he needed her touch. Needed her to be close to him. Her mouth was softly playing with his as she lowered herself once more on to his body.
She was gentle as she let her hands rest on his either side of his face. Her silk, white gown was gathered and lay across her waist.
She understood that Harm measured physical closeness with emotional closeness.
And it was then that she realized she did the same thing. To accomplish putting emotional distance between her and anyone she would always do so by using physical distance.
His hands went to her back. He wanted to feel more of her, but most of all he wanted to make sure she wouldn’t leave him.

~ ~ ~

God this was better than she ever thought it would be, ever dreamed it could be.
She never wanted this to end, but she needed to feel more of him.
Ever so gently, as not to draw his attention away from her mouth, she began to pull his shirt up. Gripping it in her hands, she waits a moment, playing lightly with his tongue, making sure he hadn’t had enough of her yet.
She pulled away just long enough to get the shirt over his head.

~ ~ ~

My first thought was ‘come back.’ but that was only replaced with a moan as I felt her pull my shirt over my head. I want this way too much to stop her. She was so soothing.

~ ~ ~

I look down at him; I’ve never been in a position where I could look down into his eyes, I’m always looking up into them.
But here gazing down at him, I’ve found all, I’ve been waiting for.
“Mac” I hear him whisper. But words are not what he needs right now.
“Shhh....” I can see him fighting against the whole world, and I want to be his refuge. My mouth returns to his, and this is it, this is everything to me.

~ ~ ~

Her weight above me is not heavy, it’s perfect, and this moment is perfect. I find my hands reaching under the perfect silk and tugging her lacy panties down her hips.
I would give up the rest of my life for her touch. She is only gone from me a moment as she removes them the rest of the way, and I,without a word, slip from rest of my clothes.

~ ~ ~

I settled myself back down on his lap. I’ve never been like this with man, but he not just any man. He is Harm.
My silk gown lay covering our waists and my eyes want to search him, to know him, but I’m too nervous. It takes all the courage I have to whisper his name as
I search for his mouth again.

~ ~ ~

I feel her whisper my name against my mouth and my need for her increases. I realize that the only place I will ever find peace again is here in her arms.
Our mouths are melting together; I let my hands run down her chest, over the silk, feeling her nipples harden as I pull her closer.
Then I make the journey down her waist, under the silk, to find her wet and welcoming.
Nothing has ever felt this right before. No other woman has ever made my heart speed up like this.

~ ~ ~

I let my head fall back as he finds that sensitive spot. I need him so bad. It's been such a long time since I felt a man’s touch, yet I know in my heart that I’ve been waiting all my life to feel HIS touch. And god, his touch is good.
His hands are now at my hips, lifting me up slightly as he lowers me over his hard shaft. My hands go to his shoulders and my eyes search his for understanding.
“I’ve never...” I gasp, having to stop for a moment as he begins to fill me, “done this on top ... I don’t ...” I can’t seem to breathe. “Oh god ... I don’t know what to do....” I never let my eyes shut; I want him to know how much I trust him.

~ ~ ~

As I bury myself deeper in her, slowly letting her body adjust to mine, I hear her voice. I only want her to know it's me at this moment.
As her words register, nothing but male pride wells up within me. I want to be the only one to ever teach her anything new in bed again, and I will be.
“Its okay... I will help you.” I assure. I let my body slide down a little in the chair, moving her hips with me I begin to guide her, to show her what I want.

~ ~ ~

I tighten my hold on his shoulder. I want this to be for him, only for him. I want him to fall off the face of the earth as he holds me close.
“Its okay... I will show you.” True to his word
Harm begins setting the rhythm of our movements.
I fight to keep my eyes open as I gaze down at him. But this feeling is overwhelming and I let them drift shut. “God Harm....ohhhh,” My chest tights as I feel my body react even more to his.

~ ~ ~

I look up at her, watching her, feeling her ever movement. Her eyes flutter shut and I realize that
I’ve never took the time to notice a women when she comes.
It never occured to me to care honestly. But here in this moment, when all I can breathe is her and all
I want is her, I feel that I must see her surrender to me.
I want to talk to her. I want to whisper to her, but I can’t find my voice as she lets her head fall back.
As she is gripping my shoulder tighter, my name falling from her lips in such a deep, sexy tone, it takes all the control I have not to thrust into her harder.

~ ~ ~

I can feel myself getting closer and I let my head fall back. I just want to live right here with Harm buried deep inside me forever. “Please.... don’t ... ahh stop.”
I rock with him, letting him guide me.
I want to wait for him, but he is making it damn near impossible.
I open my eyes and find his again. He is watching me and I see so much turmoil within him and I know he fighting truth.
For a moment I wish we would have taken the time to remove the rest of my clothes. I want to see us joined together, but the thought is gone as quickly as it came, because my body tightens it hold on Harm and I let the joy of the feeling wash over me. “Harm... ohhh YES!!!!”

~ ~ ~

Her voice rings in my ears and I smile. It's the look on her face that sends me over the edge.
I feel her lean in to my chest and I let my arms encircle her as I give all of my life to her.
I want to scream out her name, but I don’t. I just the let the world go black for a moment as I hold her.

~ ~ ~

My arms slip around his neck as I feel him let go, his breath warm against my chest.
I let my fingers slide through his hair at the base of his neck. I have no idea what he is thinking, or even feeling and part of me is scared over what we just did, but God it was worth every minute.
“Harm...” There is no answer, just his heavy breathing instead. “Harm are you okay.”

~ ~ ~

I take another breath fighting to get my emotions under control when I hear her sweet voice. I’m so thankful she is here, so thankful that we are together at last.
Although the fear of 'what if' is still tearing at my heart.
In one swift movement I stand up with her in my arms, and as I slip from inside her, I hear her moan softly.
“You're beautiful.”

~ ~ ~

Harm lays me back on the bed as he smiles down at me.
Men have always said that to me, but hearing him say makes me believe it. I’m beautiful to him, and he is the only one I want to be beautiful to again.
He is right above me. I look up at him and in his eyes I see all that he is and I know I love him. I will always love him, no matter what happens.
“As much as I like you in this, I want you out of it.” His hands find the bottom of the silk material and he begins pulling it up, letting his lips follow the same path.
“Oh Harm...” I smile as his lips touch me.
“I want to feel your skin, I want to feel all of you, to see all of you.” It seems to me that everything Harm does, he does completely. I feel my body react to his touch and I close my eyes.
“I like this.” Harm pulls the material over my head
“Me too.”

~ ~ ~

Her lips are so soft as I take them, lightly sucking on the bottom one. My hands are drawn to her breasts and I take one in my hand, feeling its weight.
Heaven in the real world is my only thought.

~ ~ ~

“Again.” I laugh a little and his lips begin dropping small, light kisses down my body. I can’t help myself as I reach up touching my other breast.
“I want you again.” He looks up at me for a brief moment
“I liked you on top, but lets try me on top this time.” His moves in between my legs and I feel the tip of him against me.
He isn’t all the way there yet and I’m ready to lose myself again.

~ ~ ~

I love watching her. She is tossing her head back a forth now and her breathing is picking up. God I’m going to love watching her ever time we do this. I’m going to love watching her move.

Email: Andrea ~JAG FAN-FIC~* ~JAG PAGE~*~Main Page~

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Updated: August 11, 2003 ~ * ~ Webpage Created: Summer of 2003