Weakness

Mac smiled and kissed his neck lightly. He took a minute to come back to earth. “How can you do that standing.”
He didn’t answer her as he held her tight and started towards the bed. He gently laid her down on her back and held himself above her, his weight resting on his arms.
Her legs dropped from around his waist and she ran her hands through the back of his hair one last time.
He dropped a small kiss on her lips before he laid down beside her. He didn’t have much strength left.
“I’ve never had the pleasure of doing that standing.” she turned over and lay her side facing him, she pulled the sheet up over her.
Harm turned so he was on his side facing her. “Really?” he question. He was glad he was the only one she had done that with standing. Not to mention he would be the only person she would ever do that with standing.
“Really... I don’t know how you do that standing....” she adored his strength and ability to be able to make love to her so well against a wall.
When she had thought about things like that she always thought it would be disgusting and offensive. She thought it would make her feel cheep. But to her surprise it didn’t. In fact she was unbelievably turned on with he had picked her up by her bottom. The power and force that he had used in that moment made her head spin. “I guess you like the candles.”
He smiled at her “I sort of have this things for candles.”
“What?” she looked at him.
“I don’t know... I’ve always have. Candles are romantic and soothing.” his eyes fell from her, slightly embarrassed at his confession. “Its just sexy.”
She smiled at him. “I never new that about you.”
He smiled at her. “Its sort of irresistible. And seeing you in the middle of all it pushed me over the edge.”
“Ya I guess... I guess you didn’t really have enough time to decided if you like pink or not huh...”
“Oh I loved the pink. But we should try out the black... and soon.”
She blushed. It was amazing that they were laying here together.
“Did you ever think we would be here?”
“In Philadelphia?”
She laughed. "Ya Harmon.... in Philly.” her eyes gazed at his bare chest.
“We have been through so much.”
“Yea we have....”
“You’ve seen my at my worst.... twice...” she hated for anyone to see her drunk, crying or throwing up and Harm had seen it all.
He knew how she was and he laughed a little “Ohhh more than twice sweetheart, more than twice.”
Her eyes danced with laughter. “Ya more than twice....” it was the truth and he hadn’t left her.
“Hey everything happens for a reason. I’m just glad we are here.” he was more than happy to be here with her.
“Don’t you wonder?”
“Wonder what?” he questioned.
“Wonder where this is going?” She didn’t know if it was fear talking, or worry either way she really needed to talk to him.
“NO. I know where this is going.” there was never any question. And as the days went on he realized how much he really did love her. He would walk through fire for her.
“Harm, we have come ... to this place...”
His hand gentle traced her jaw “Sarah what is it? Are you having second thoughts?” He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew she wasn’t, yet he still have ask.
“You want to talk about it?” whenever he asked her that she always said no and he wonder if this would be any different.
“I just don’t understand how after so many years, so many words we ended up here.”
This was a side of Mac he had never seen before, needing to talk about every feeling and everything thought she was having.
He was honored that she would feel this way him.“What ... is this not where you want to be?”
This is the only place I have ever wanted to be. I just don’t know how we got here.”
He took a deep breath, she had been through alot in the last few days. “Its been along road.”
“Ya it has.. tonight was the first time we have ever been out on a date.”
“We’ve been out a million times together.”
“Never for anything but work.”
“Yea but still we’ve been out together.”
“The last few month you have been going out of your way not to work with me.”
“It has been hard... I thought it was better to be put some space between us. I knew we would have to any ways after you got married.... and I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my feelings for you.... Or that prick you were with....”
Her eyes widen. “What...”
“To see you with him... I wanted to kill him...”
This was what she didn’t understand. “How is it that for years now you have pushed me away... screamed at me that you couldn’t let go... and then you see me drunk, and that is all it takes.”
“It was not because you were drinking. If I had only wanted one thing from you I could have got it from you that night and never looked back.... you offered...” he paused for a moment.
She knew he was right, but she also knew he wasn’t like that and would never hurt her.
This is about so much more than that night. I’ve loved you and needed you for a long time now... and until a few short days ago I thought you DIDN’T need me and that you were really happy.”
She heard the honesty in his voice.
“I was willing to be unhappy for the rest of my miserable life as long as you were happy, health and satisfied.”
“You weren’t happy with Renee?”
“No she never compared to you.” his eyes looked down at the pillow for a brief moment. He was ashamed even as he said. he knew it wasn’t fair to Renee to feel that way, or even to Mac. But that is he felt.
“You would have given up your happiness for me.”
“I would give up my very life for you.” his voice was think with emotion.
“I didn’t know you were unhappy and I didn’t know you needed me.”
She leaned over and kissed his face lightly “I’ve always needed you. I just never wanted to admit it.”
“Why now? What made you see?”
“I realized that I need you more than I needed him, and that scared me. To think I was marrying someone I didn’t need. And I realized I was losing you.” Her heart even now felt the ache at even the very thought him not being her life.